The Pickle Jar
by Weirdo-Lover
Summary: He'd noticed prior to the pregnancy, long before he let sobriety go. KakaAya. HokageRamen. Post-canon.
1. Preface

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Rated T. See FF ratings for clarity on what the term means.**

 **Here is a multi-chapter drama exploring the KakaAya possibility, which would otherwise be improbable in the** _ **Naruto**_ **-verse. Through narrative,** _ **The Pickle Jar**_ **explores Kakashi's newly acquired rank of Hokage, Ayame's civilian status, and how the two social classes clash with mistakes, romance, spirituality, and pickles.**

 **How isn't this pairing a thing?**

* * *

Preface

* * *

Blue and black galaxies were not enough to encompass the entire human condition nor could one night with a beautiful woman compensate for a lonely childhood.

Before Kakashi awoke he knew what he had done. He immediately touched his face, partly to rub a forming headache away, but mostly to block the spicy scent that initially woke him. The scent. It was tinged with salt and blood and— _no_. His whole body tensed. It coiled tight and then he slammed an arm down. The wooden floor creaked. He winced.

The previous kage were probably rolling around in their graves.

His hand was perfumed by a blood-tinged aroma. Heat crept up his neck and he was embarrassed. God help him, he was the _Hokage_. The entirety of the present situation was ridiculous and bizarre and—it was inappropriate. Inappropriate; something he never thought he would feel as a middle aged man. Being the leader of the continent's most powerful village never felt so daunting until that very moment. The steps that would need to be taken—she was gone.

He laid on unfamiliar flooring warmed by his flesh, half covered by a frilly quilt. She was probably just as embarrassed. This was her home and she was not there to kick him out. She would not do that to her leader, now would she? He had not drunk much sake— _of course the Hokage wouldn't_ —but just enough. It had been enough strong drink to convince himself that following Ichiraku Ayame home after the wedding was a perfectly acceptable idea and—Kakashi sat up.

The world did not spin and his head did not hurt half as much as he would have preferred. Without moving his upper body, Kakashi's gaze shifted. The sofa. It was plushy white and on it rested ridiculous flower-shaped pillows, his stupid, _stupid_ formal clothing, and a tell-tale stain.

He sighed, reaching for his robes. It was time to lead a village.

* * *

Ichiraku Ayame hung her apron on the rack. It was closing time and otousan had gone home. She had finally, _finally_ finished cleaning the catering equipment after they closed up the ramen bar and sent the workers home. She should have done it all by midday. Well, that certainly had not happened. After all, she had arrived _after_ midday. She had sneaked out of her own home at sunrise and done the mother of all walks around the village. Returning home in the afternoon, she had avoided eye contact with the living room and washed up for Ichiraku's.

Otousan had been upset at her tardiness. However, when he had seen the positively miserable mood she carried, stumbling in after noon, he sobered and told her to go home. She mumbled the standard "I'm okay" and proceeded to the back of the shop and cleaned _everything_. Twice. No one bothered her. Although, it was hard to miss the fleeting looks of concern and curiosity, because Ramen Girl was never down in the dumps and _what could have happened?_

Ayame sat down on the terracotta tiles. She pressed her back against the storage door, where all serving equipment was kept. Biting her lip, she remembered. Oh God above, she remembered what she'd done with the freaking _Hokage_.

He had been so sweet at the wedding, having been assigned to the same table as her. Apparently, ramen and ninja nobility were equal in value to Naruto. Oh stop it, she chided herself.

Naruto thought of her and her father like family. It had only made sense that Naruto sat them with Sakura and the others. It only made sense that _Hatake Kakashi_ sat to her left. It only made sense he made small talk. It only made sense that she tried hard not to laugh as he joked under his breath while Gai interrupted dinner with a youthful cheer. It only made sense she noticed him pocket a trembling hand as he gave a speech of how proud he was of his students, of Naruto. It only made sense that he asked her to dance. It only made sense that he smelled so nice—that she dared to kiss him on the exposed part of his cheek before stumbling away, pink faced and surprised by her own actions. But this, too, only made sense because she had been crushing on him for the past year.

Ayame covered her face with her hands, unsure of what to do. She wanted to take it all back. She hadn't drunk at all, because she didn't _do_ that. Not even at weddings, because sake was super gross. Yesterday, she had gone home a couple hours early. She'd gone home early. Too early, really. She had started feeling just a tiny bad about the fact that Naruto was getting married at nineteen and she was twenty three and never even experienced a proper kiss. And…and she had felt rejected by the tight-eyed smile Kakashi forced after she pecked his cheek. So she had left. She had left with her tail between her legs and properly chagrined. She had no right doing such things with the Hokage of Konohagakure.

But then he showed up with a tired look and a shrug of the shoulders. Just like that.

Imagine her surprise when she had gotten out of the shower and Kakashi knocked at the door. She opened and he asked to come in. She let him, of course. He _was_ the village kage and she couldn't say no—nor did she really _want_ to say no. After all, this was Kakashi—witty, clever, strong Kakashi. And even if she had initially been half convinced he was there to scold her, the ludicrous thought of him wagging an angry finger at her vanished the moment he suddenly kissed her and kissed her _good_.

Her eyes watered at remembering the whole debacle _but she did not cry_.

She had let him. Yes. She had let him kiss her because she wanted to kiss him, even if he tasted like sake. She had let him lay her on the couch because it made the kiss better. And…and she didn't stop him from touching her more because if she told him to stop, if she had asked him to wait—to leave her robe on— he'd leave and never come back and never, _ever_ return her feelings. And if she said, no, _please_ —I'm not ready—she would be fifty by the time anyone married her.

Heaven above, she should have just said no.

* * *

 _I broke my heart this mornin',_

 _Ain't got no heart no more._

 _Next time a man comes near me_

 _Gonna shut an' lock my door_

 _Cause they treat me mean—_

 _The ones I love._

 _They always treat me mean._

 _-Langston Hughes, 'Cora'_


	2. The Honorable Hokage

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **I hate that Kishimoto didn't have Sasuke at the wedding.**

* * *

The Honorable Hokage and the Things He Deals With

* * *

Kakashi sipped coffee, staring out and over the village. He sat cross legged on the edge of the Tower's roof. Midwinter's breeze did him a solid and flipped the page of the book he was scanning.

More than two years had come and gone, the war behind them. Peace was established, walls were rebuilt and families reunited. Bodies had long since been buried and memorialized forever on polished stone. The last war's loss of life still hovered over all who survived but gratitude of what and who remained pushed everyone forward. The war's conclusion was still a positive force that kept peace between the shinobi villages and the wishful desires of the Shinju's genjutsu were put away in the back of everyone's dreams. Spirituality and morality was at an all-time high.

Today Konoha celebrated the Shinobi-Civilian Winter Festival. It began decades ago to break barriers between ninja and non-ninja—but mostly because the Shodai Hokage had loved all things bonding. Kakashi had never minded it, however; speeches were not his forte and the Hokage had to make one every time half the population gathered. Two years ago during his impromptu inauguration, the elders had disapproved of the peace sign he threw up for lack of knowing how to end a fairly impressive speech about teamwork and perseverance. Tsunade had laughed and laughed and then ran off to an indefinite vacation faster than Shizune and Tonton could pack.

Finishing the coffee, Kakashi set the mug and book aside. The sun was nearly to its highest position in the sky but January's chill had come and was here to stay until spring. Besides the New Year, the festival was Konoha's most looked forward to annual celebration. Kakashi remembered back in the day when his father would take him to watch the shenanigans. There were races with ninja and civilians partnered up in pairs—games, contests, performances, and a lot of food. The event was absolute madness, but the heart of it was why everyone joined the fray. Long ago, those who had mastered chakra and those who had not could not coexist. Clans were feared and ostracized because of kekkei genkais or other worldly abilities. Just the same, many humans without the ability to harness their chakra became the victims of many of those who could. Ever since Kakashi could remember, the world had always been a dark place (it probably would always be). But he had to admit, the society he was born into was less hostile to ninja and non-ninjas than the one before.

He thought of Ichiraku Ayame and how she was most definitely not a shinobi nor someone who could manipulate chakra in any shape or form. He remembered the Akatsuki attack and how being a shinobi had meant nothing to her as she tried to help everyone. How she tried to help him.

Kakashi sighed, recalling the most recent encounter with Ichiraku Ayame. It had barely been a week and he had yet to excuse his behavior, never mind doing right by her. He didn't have much free time as a kage. He had to oversee the employment of countless shinobi every day. Still, he could not say there was no free time at all. He eyed the empty mug, wishing it was something else.

"Good morning, Hokage-sama."

"Good morning, Shikamaru."

The young man bowed and then straightened. "With all due respect, lunch is over. You're late."

"One can only hope." Shikamaru, in all his intelligence, seemed mystified. It had not taken long for Kakashi to understand why Asuma had cherished the boy so much. Well, a young man now. "You'll get used to me," Kakashi encouraged as Shikamaru eyed the book he had been reading.

"I…don't know. It's been two years" he said offhandedly. Considering the book, he said, "This is about history. Before the shinobi villages were established." He obviously seemed surprised at the choice of reading material. Kakashi didn't blame him. For the last week he had stayed far, far away from his usual form of literary stimulation.

Kakashi got off the ledge and both the book and mug disappeared in a _poof_. Walking off, he said, "Have you read it?"

Per usual, Shikamaru followed four steps behind and slightly to the right. "I have."

"What do you think?"

"It's not exactly the happiest part of history."

Kakashi chuckled as they made their way to the office. "We've come a long way. What do you think about the relationships between those with chakra control and those without in the village?"

He pictured Shikamaru shrugging as he answered. "Konohagakure exceeds in it, if I were to compare it to other places." He was right of course. Their village considered both people groups as one and the same. A difference in career was nothing but a personal choice. As far as Konoha citizens were concerned, the only notable difference between shinobi and civilians was the occasional choice of rooftop traveling.

"Hmm, better than Suna?"

Shikamaru did not reply immediately, easily catching Kakashi's intent. "Yes," he finally answered as they entered the office. "Oh," he said and Kakashi agreed.

Oh, indeed.

Uchiha Sasuke stood in the middle of the office. He wore the same cloak from his short-lived visit two months prior, hair longer than Kakashi had ever seen it. His rinnegan was partly hidden by overgrown bangs swept to the side, Konoha forehead protector tied to his belt.

"Sasuke," Kakashi said, feeling lighter than he had all week. "It's good to see you."

"Sensei." Sasuke inclined his head respectfully. Not leaving Shikamaru out, he repeated the greeting. The Nara genius mirrored the gesture. Pride swelled in Kakashi's chest. Sasuke was changing. The traveling was working.

Kakashi approached him and clasped him on the shoulder. "What brings you to the village?" Sasuke wordlessly handed him a folded paper. Scanning the contents, Kakashi raised a brow. "The wedding was last weekend."

Sasuke nodded. If Kakashi didn't know better, he would say the Uchiha looked disappointed. Not as much as Naruto had been, discovering his closest friend would not be present on the most important day of his life. "Where is he now?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi considered the question. "I'm sure he's on his way back from the honeymoon. They wanted to return in time for the festival. Have you seen Sakura? I sent her letter alongside the invitation. " She had not believed he had, especially since the Uchiha had never replied nor showed up to the wedding.

"No," Sasuke said, "I haven't seen her." Then, from inside of his cloak, he pulled out a pink frilly paper. Shikamaru coughed, suppressing a laugh as Sasuke eyed it warily. "But I got her letter."

Not for the first time, Kakashi wondered about Sasuke's hesitation towards Sakura. He never seemed to know what to make of their sole female teammate. "Will you stay for tonight? You would be able to see both of them. They've missed you, Sasuke. Naruto might start a fight since you missed his wedding."

Kakashi did not ask if he was back for good. He had a feeling the young man would not permanently return anytime soon but he could encourage the Uchiha to see the other two. He had gone so soon the time before. Naruto and Sakura had been devastated when they returned from retrieving Hyuuga Hanabi and discovered Sasuke had come and gone. Despite everything, Kakashi was not sure Sasuke understood how deeply he was cared for by those two. But he supposed that was why the Uchiha was traveling—to understand a world he had missed so much of due to the unrelenting grip of hate over his life.

"I will stay," Sasuke finally said and Kakashi smiled. The Uchiha then addressed Shikamaru. "There is something I wanted to speak with the Hokage about. In private."

"Oh?" Kakashi mused. There was no beating around the bush with Sasuke.

Shikamaru sighed. "Call me when you're finished."

* * *

Ayame scrubbed and scrubbed at the sofa's stain but it would not entirely come out. Instead of red, it was now a dull brown. She had put it off all week until otousan had reminded her last night of a special guest that he would be bringing over for lunch. The plan was to enjoy some of the afternoon festivities after they ate, before Ayame had to help out at Ichiraku's. She technically had off. Being one of the main chefs and the owner's daughter entitled her to have holidays off. But lately all she had wanted to do for the past week was work, work, and work. So when one of the chefs had conveniently called off 'sick' on one of Konoha's most celebrated days, Ayame had happily volunteered her services.

She had her guesses on who otousan's 'guest' would be but either way, she couldn't exactly let her father see a big bloodstain on the sofa, never mind what the guest would think. She ultimately took the sofa cushion out of the pillowcase and threw it in the washer. She added bleach and softener. She probably added too much bleach but at that point she had given up. The physical reminder of that night paled in comparison to the emotional one. She stared as the pillowcase swished around in the washer, remembering how Kakashi had trailed his knuckles from the base of her throat to her bellybutton.

" _Please don't go."_

She swallowed the sudden nausea that the rotation of the washer brought her. When closing the machine's lid didn't help, she slowly walked to the bathroom. Was she going to—oh yep she was definitely going to—she ran to the toilet and barely made it before she threw up the morning's breakfast. She wrinkled her nose at the fact that oatmeal still looked like oatmeal after being regurgitated. The lumps were there and everything. She threw up again and blamed it all on her incoming period. She already felt slight cramping in her abdomen. The vomit was new though.

"Urgh" she grumbled. She put a sanitary napkin on just in case her little red friend decided to visit early. Too bad she couldn't take back the off day. Working with only men during these times was always fun. Returning to the living room, she put the middle cushion back in the center of the couch and opted for a frilly quilt over the entire sofa. Good as new. Otousan would arrive any minute and she had to set the table.

She finished up the preparations when there was a knock at the door in a very specific rhythm. It was a tactic her father had suggested to let her know it was him. He had been so hesitant about her moving out a couple months ago that she had encouraged the idea. Considering the blunder from last weekend, maybe she should have stayed living with her old man. Kakashi certainly wouldn't have stayed the night nor would Ayame have decided to stain things would blood let alone do _that_.

Without looking at the peephole, Ayame opened the door, best smile in place. When she saw who was at her father's shoulder, Ayame felt a lightness she had not felt all week.

"Raiden-kun!"

"Aya-chan!" The full grown man grinned that grin that usually had older women melt into a puddle of their own estrogen. His expertly trimmed circle bread made his smile that much more charming. He wore civilian clothing with long sleeves that she knew covered a multitude of tattoos. Ayame bypassed her laughing father and into the awaiting arms of her oldest friend.

Raiden held her at arm's length. "Look at you, kiddo. All grown up. What's it been, three, four years?"

She hugged him again. "You look the same!" He truly did. For good measure, her father joined their embrace and the three of them laughed at the sweetness of the overdue reunion.

* * *

Kakashi and Sasuke walked down streets filled with vendors and festive games. Civilians and shinobi alike wore yukatas and kimonos. Children wore masks and customs too, running around with candy-filled shish kabobs and pinwheels. One small boy accidentally ran into Sasuke's legs with a sparkler and Kakashi became surprised when Sasuke knelt down and steadied the child.

"Careful," he said, handing the fallen sparkler back to the boy. The boy grinned widely. He was missing at least four front teeth and then ran off to catch up with his friends.

Kakashi found himself smiling at Sasuke and the young man simply stared at him. "What."

"Oh, nothing." Kakashi remained smiling.

"Right."

They continued their walk and the kingyo-sukui stand caught Kakashi's eye. Ichiraku Ayame was bent at the knees trying to scoop a goldfish with poi paper. She wore a dark yukata with leafless white branches and a yellow obi. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail with a white ribbon. She was concentrating very hard while her father and a man leaned over her shoulders, cheering in loud whispers. When her poi scoop broke and dropped the goldfish, she turned around screaming and threw it at them. Kakashi smiled, passing the stand. He went unnoticed by her.

Of course, his invisibility did not last long as he continued down various festival stands.

"It's the Hokage!"

"Good afternoon, Hokage-sama!"

"Hurry, fix your hair. It's the Hokage!"

"Good day, Rokudaime."

"Say hello to the Hokage, sweetheart. He's waving at you!"

"Hi-hi, Hokagg-sam!"

"A free pinwheel for you, Hokage-sama."

When Kakashi and Sasuke reached a less crowded area, the Uchiha turned to his former teacher. "Is that every day?"

"What's every day?" Kakashi shrugged, blowing at the new pinwheel from behind his mask.

"You're evasive as ever." Sasuke meant it as a passing observation but Kakashi remembered a certain ramen chef and felt a little convicted.

He felt the need to explain. "Well, I'm not out every—"

"Sasuke-kun?"

Both men looked towards the voice and found a shocked Ino to be the source. She was hand holding with Sai, and of course, Sakura was with them. Sakura dropped the cotton candy she had been eating as she gawked at Sasuke. In its decent, the sweet cotton rubbed down her kimono, staining it with red crystal flakes.

"Sakura." The Uchiha decided to greet her as if he hadn't been gone for over two years. The customary 'Sakura' and nod of the head weren't exactly the warmest of greetings but Kakashi couldn't exactly tell him that now.

"...surprise," Kakashi said, wondering if he should have given her a heads up after all. Sasuke had sensed her first so they'd come this way. Next to Sakura, Ino and Sai exchanged worried glances. Ino released Sai's hand to approach Sakura.

"Hey, you okay'?" Ino frowned.

At first, Sakura smoothed down her bangs and then went to pat down invisible wrinkles from her kimono, but stopped midway. Snapping out of her shock, she settled for a neutral expression. "Sasuke-kun, you're here." She addressed Kakashi. "You sent the letter after all."

"Yeah." Kakashi chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. She was angry.

Sasuke stepped forward, arm extended with his pointer and middle finger at the ready. Kakashi vaguely recalled the gesture being present at the couple's last goodbye. Sakura tightened her fist, as if she was going smack him. But then she relaxed it, expression deflated. "Welcome home," she said, "Sorry...I need a moment." She calmly walked away, confused. Ino did not hesitate to follow closely behind, calling her.

Sai studied Sasuke. "This is where you go after her." Kakashi was more than sure he had learned the romantic advice from Ino.

Sasuke lowered his arm, looking for all the world like a man whose punchline had been stolen. It was interesting, but not very like him. "I should go," he said to Kakashi very seriously. And Kakashi knew he would not run after Sakura. It was not as if she had left angrily.

Kakashi shook his head. "Give her a second. She's in shock. It's been a long time." And then in a flash of yellow that gave Kakashi a rush of nostalgia, Sasuke was nearly knocked from his feet into an embrace.

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried happily, stepping back to assess his old friend. "You're back! This is so great!"

Sasuke let himself smile. "Congratulations."

Naruto pursed his lips and suddenly looked annoyed. "Oh yeah."

Sasuke sobered up too. "I tried to come as soon as I could, but I was far and some things came up."

"Hmm," Naruto mumbled, "I guess I just gotta forgive you then. Though, Sakura might not be as merciful. She wrote a letter. She was really hoping to see you."

"She did see him," Sai interjected. "And then she ran away."

"Very observant," Kakashi encouraged. "Anything else?"

Sai nodded. "Sasuke-san did not chase after her."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Kakashi. Naruto looked between the three men. "What's going on?"

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata ran up to them, catching her breath. She deactivated her byakugan. "You ran so fast. You were saying something about—oh! Hokage-sama!" She bowed. "Oh! And Sasuke-kun's here too!"

"And he didn't chase after Sakura," Sai added.

Hinata blinked and then frowned. "Is she okay?"

"We can only hope she hasn't jumped off the mountain yet."

Hinata gasped and looked for all the world like she would cry. "Oh no! We have to stop her! She had wrote that letter and been so excited about it." Kakashi's brows rose. Did everyone know about the letter?

Naruto pulled Sai by the collar. "What're you saying to my wife?!"

"Perhaps I've taken my sarcasm too far. Forgive me."

Kakashi watched as Sasuke's neutral expression grew more annoyed by the second. That was Kakashi's cue. "I hate to cut this happy reunion short, but speeches don't monologue themselves."

* * *

The festival was over and most were home. It had been a long day but Kakashi had one more stop. Conviction was not a thing to take lightly.

It was closing time at Ichiraku's and a little birdy with an ANBU mask had reported back to him that Ichiraku Ayame worked tonight. Kakashi approached the ramen bar and saw her. She was diligently wiping at the counter. She must've been on some sort of stepping stool as she hovered over the bar. The light from the red paper lanterns made her concentrating features glow. Her expression reminded him of earlier, as she scooped goldfish. Her brows were furrowed and lips pressed together in a stern pout as wisps of hair fell out of her bandana to haphazardly join her bangs. A single strand was trapped between her lips and Kakashi moved his eyes elsewhere.

Behind the bar with her was an elderly man. He wore the standard hat and apron. Kakashi was sure his name was Otori. If Teuchi was not working, Otori was usually the man in charge. The old man held a notepad close to his face, presumably trying to read without the spectacles that were on his head. "I think this says five hundred person catering. Woo-wee!"

Without looking up, Ayame spoke to him. "Your seeing glasses are on your head again, Otori-san." Despite her choice of words, Ayame had spoken gently and with a polite smile. It did not reach her eyes. If she was old enough to have laugh lines by them, they wouldn't have crinkled. _If she was old enough._ Kakashi tried not to think of her age. He had at least ten years, two wars, and the Hokage title over her.

"Oh! Silly me. Here they are. Ah. Fifty person catering. That we can do."

Earlier in the evening, Sasuke had intently spoken with Sakura by the Academy pond and Kakashi felt a little inspired. Though arriving at the ramen bar, he still chose to sit on the stool furthest from Ayame.

The old man was the first to notice him. "Rokudaime Hokage-sama! What an honor." He bowed as Ayame startled right off whatever stepping stool she was using. Kakashi winced as she disappeared behind the bar with a sharp scream.

"Ayame-chan!" The old man went to help her but she jumped right up like something straight out of a comic book.

"I'm okay!" Facing Kakashi, she bowed too. "Hokage-sama! What an honor."

Kakashi opted for basic social manners. "Good evening to the both of you. Are you sure you're alright, Ayame-chan?"

Keeping her head lowered, she nodded but held onto the rag in her hands with white knuckles. He could already see a bruise forming on the inside of her left wrist. It was scratched red by whatever she had grabbed to hold herself up. The injury was close to an older one, scarred white with time. The falling meteor-like keloid was small, insignificant really. It had been obtained during Akatsuki's attack.

"I see." He dismissed the hesitancy in which he spoke with.

Old man Otori bowed again, holding the stance with Ayame. "Hokage-sama, please forgive us. We've stored all our ingredients away but if you would give us at least fifteen minutes we could prepare whatever you'd like."

"That won't be necessary. I'm not very hungry. Please, be at ease the both of you." They straightened and while Otori looked at him with an awe attributed only to the older generation, Ayame maintained a lowered gaze. It was a common gesture of respect but before today she would simply look at him with a huge grin, blush prettily across her cheeks.

"If I may, Hokage-sama," Otori said, "perhaps a light dish?"

"Whatever is most convenient for you, Otori-san." The man truly wanted to serve the kage and Kakashi would not deny him.

The use of his name only made the old man grin harder. "Vegetable rolls won't take but six to eight minutes. Our rice paper is the best in Konoha."

"If it's not too much trouble."

Otori gave a hoot. "None at all! It truly is an honor."

Kakashi smiled behind his mask. "Thank you."

"Well, I'll be! The Hokage thanking me. Never in all my days. Ayame-chan, be a dear and get this fine man a drink while I go prepare in the back. I'm sure you'll be prettier company than these old bones." Otori chuckled at his own joke as he disappeared through a threshold. Orange and red beads that hung from the doorframe's ceiling clattered in his wake.

Kakashi turned his attention towards the ceramic ruffling underneath the bar. He held back the temptation to peek over. Ayame reappeared with a stone cup and kettle, avoiding eye contact. This was not her. Last weekend had also not been her. Where was the girl from the kingyo-sukui stand? He had done this.

"Green tea?" she said under her breath and he ignored the ache in his sternum.

"Yes, thank you." He watched as she went about pouring water in the kettle and setting it over the stove's blue fire. It was now or never.

"I...came to speak with you." She quickly glanced over her shoulder with those enormous eyes and back to the stove, hands frozen at her sides.

She did not speak.

A great amount of guilt swirled within the points where his chakra lived. The feeling reminded him of a time when he had handed Sakura over to Tsunade without a fight and Naruto and Sasuke were lands away trying to find what Kakashi could not provide for them.

"Ayame." The disuse of an honorific suffix fortunately had her turn to him. She could not look him in the eye and her hands trembled, but at least he had her attention. "I know my position as your kage may disable you from speaking freely or honestly, but at this moment I hope this conversation consists only of both those virtues. Between a man and a woman." He did not ask for it but when she agreed with a nod, he relaxed a bit. "The other night...I behaved inappropriately towards you. I should not have...I should not have."

"Me too." Her voice was the smallest he had ever heard it—most of the time she was at least ten notches below Naruto, which was still incredibly high-spirited. "I should not have. You...were drinking."

He had the decency to look embarrassed. "Yes, I had been."

"I didn't." Kakashi waited for her to continue. She turned red a couple of times before she could speak again. "I don't...like sake. Or any drink like that. I didn't drink anything like that at the wedding. But you did. And I knew that." Ayame went to turn off the stove but the kettle had yet to go off. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi stood, floored by her ability to somehow completely blame herself. "I assure you I do not feel taken advantage of." Her shoulders tensed and he wanted to reach over but he could not. That mentality of hers needed to end faster than the genin version of team seven had. "As a man I take full responsibility. If there are certain commitments you want from me, I understand."

She spun back around. "What?"

"I can't promise you an ideal lifestyle, but I can give you a good one." Ayame stared wide eyed at him, stunned beyond words. It reminded him of the expression she wore when she had opened the door for him last weekend. And for whatever misguided reason, she was incredibly pretty like that, frayed nerves and all. He probably had to reevaluate his preferences but there they were, all blended together in a simple, strong-willed young woman who could be surprisingly anxious at times. A sole tear fell from her eye and he followed it like a hound until it disappeared somewhere under her chin.

"I just want to forget."

He was disappointed. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Please...Hokage-sama."

He could not deny her. "I understand. We'll go back to before." But there was no before and both parties knew it. The past only consisted of stolen glances and accidental caresses. Many times, yes, there were moments of laughter. With Naruto around, Teuchi was kind and full of good natured humor and she didn't fall far from the tree but occasional joking and miscellaneous social interaction did not excuse the incredible leap he took with her last week. In the past year, he could count the times he had seen her on his hands. Most of those instances were linked to Naruto or ramen, if not all.

"It's what I'd like," she said.

He was the Hokage not a mind reader. He was not sure if she was being completely truthful but he could do nothing without her verbally communicating. He tried to think of something else to say but he could not. She hadn't heeded the prompt to speak candidly, but at the very least she had allowed him to say what he wanted. If she sought to avoid confrontation and pretend nothing had ever happened between them then he could not force her. He supposed he had done enough to shame both of them and it was time to go. She had abandoned making the green tea and he could take a hint.

He reached within the sleeve of his robe and pulled out a bag of coins. He placed it on the counter. "Please apologize to Otori-san for me."

She only looked at her feet without response. She appeared as miserable as he felt. He was glad for it and walked away. No one could say he had not tried to make proper amends. Technically, they had both apologized but neither apology had been accepted. He offered her anything. He could truly do that for her but he could not forget. The one thing she asked he was not sure he would fully do. Perhaps with time, but—

That night had been an absolute mistake. It was inappropriate on every social level he could conjure up and he should not have followed her home. But knowing and accepting it as a mistake did not erase how he felt. He had been scared out of his mind touching her. And when she had cried half way through it, he did not stop nor had she asked him to. She had only held on and he put away all hesitancies in favor of making them feel good—to forget the world around and within themselves. That night, her silent cries had turned into something else and that was all the sake in his veins had needed to follow through.

Kakashi had not always been as virtuous a man as he would have liked. Pre-team seven, he had accumulated enough sins to make a seasoned assassin blush, before and even during ANBU. It had taken a few of the Sandaime's lectures and some slaps from the toad sannin to straighten Kakashi out. Being forced out of ANBU and told to take on a genin team had done wonders for his moral compass.

He had convinced himself that his private life had been acceptable as long as missions were effectively completed, teamwork established, and Konoha lived to see another day. But looking at twelve year old Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had reminded him of other things. Things he had left behind—like love. It had taken Kakashi very little time to love them, to adore them. Everyone had noticed and after everything hit the fan, everyone had also noticed how much he had suffered for love of them. And now he was Hokage. If he didn't hold basic moral standards, no one in the village would. Tsunade had been interestingly clear about that.

* * *

Ayame poured the unused water into the floor drain. What the heck _was_ that? How could he say those things as if it was okay? A week had barely passed and he wanted to talk about it? She could barely believe it happened in the first place. And now he wanted to make amends by _offering her stuff_? He managed to ruin in five minutes the happiness Raiden's surprise visit had salvaged. How had she ever thought it was okay to crush on Kakashi, let alone do _that_ with him? Her mother would be so...ashamed. Ayame did not even want to think of what otousan would say if he ever found out.

Otori stepped through the threshold beads with the rolls neatly organized on a plate and Ayame smiled sadly. "Hokage-sama had something to take care of." She lamely gestured towards the money bag. "He left that."

Otori frowned and then good-naturedly shrugged. "Well, he's not the busiest man in Konohagakure for naught. It wouldn't be the first time a shinobi leaves in the middle of a meal. Busy, busy, busy. I suppose we could just take these home." Suddenly he got that weird twinkle in his eye. The one he usually got when unrelenting ideas were born. He laughed and then grabbed the bag of money, weighing it in his hand by moving it up and down. "Better yet, we'll take some to the Tower for the rest of the week. What do you say?"

"That sounds like a great idea." She couldn't agree more. Kakashi had left a lot of money and he could bet his little Hokage hat that she would not be taking one cent from his pocket.

"And when you get there, make sure to tell him it was from his loyal subject 'Otori-san'!"

Ayame backtracked. "What? Me?"

"Who else? The rest of us are men and uglier than the bottom of a retired shinobi's foot."

She tried not to smile but failed. "You're not that ugly, Otori-san."

Otori laughed with her. "I'll leave your father a note so he knows to have the goods ready before lunchtime tomorrow. When your shift starts, you just come by and take the meal straight to our honorable kage." Knowing there was no use in trying to dissuade him or otousan once he got whiff of the plan, Ayame agreed. It was not like the Tower administration would actually give her an audience with the Hokage. She would drop the food off and be on her merry way.

* * *

 _If music be the food of love, play on,_

 _Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,_

 _The appetite may sicken, and so die._

 _-William Shakespeare, 'Twelfth Night'_


	3. The Ramen Girl

**I don't own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Does anyone else think our favorite manga blatantly showcases sexism with underdeveloped female characters?**

* * *

The Ramen Girl and the Things People Make Her Do

* * *

Day one of dropping Ichiraku's off at the Tower had gone well, most notably without running into the Hokage. Day two hadn't really happened because she had Sundays off but today, day three, Ayame was hoping would go as day one had. The sun was bright in the sky, children were laughing, it was sweater whether and nothing could go wrong. She was wearing her cutest warm cardigan over her uniform and she was going to have a good day darn it.

She entered the administration building that led to the Tower and the Ninja Academy. There were other hallways and doors inside but she wasn't exactly learned in the Konohagakure shinobi infrastructure—she was also more than sure as a civilian she wouldn't be allowed to know. But if she was being honest, and true to her curious nature, she totally wanted to run up and down the place and touch everything. There were so many cool posters! Just yesterday she had seen kids learning to walk up trees in the Academy's yard. Walk up trees! The most impressive thing she could do in a tree was get stuck in it and then literally need rescue because she would totally not be able to get herself down.

She approached the information desk with a cheerful smile. "Good morning!"

The receptionist bite into an apple, glasses at the end of her nose, eyes inspecting Ayame up and down. She kept a very neat, gray bun on top of her head and wore the strongest perfume Ayame had ever smelt. "It's you again," she said, raspy voice matching a chain smoker's.

Ayame held up the paper bag she'd been carrying, filled with Ichiraku's Monday special: Chicken tsuemen with extra sides. And of course, more rolls. "Another gift, for the honorable Rokudaime," she said, using Otori and her father's words verbatim. Although, she refrained from asking for that tax exemption.

"How nice." The receptionist glanced somewhere off to the right where students were laughing just outside of the glass doors, where one of the pretty hedge gardens were at. She grumbled some words Ayame would never repeat. The older woman then walked around the desk. "These kids. How many times do I have to say they ain't supposed to play out there. Hey sweetheart, why don't ya take that up to the office yourself? They'll be a few guards up there but you just gotta let them know Kaede sent you."

Being spoken to, Ayame dragged her gaze away from the group of snickering kids. They were circled around something. She wondered what it was. Maybe like a ninja thing? "I'm sorry?" she said.

The receptionist stared at her for a second. "You ain't the brightest crayon in the box, are ya?" Before Ayame could retort at the quip, both women jumped at the sudden noise—

"Ayame-nechan!"

It was Naruto. Ayame smiled. "Hey you! What're you up to?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head, grinning. It was a habit he had had since she could remember. He would do it whenever he was feeling bashful to share news or nervous. "Well, you know. Studying for the jonin exams."

"That's so great!" she cheered, absolutely thrilled for him. She knew he had been working on stuff like that for the past two years, but she wasn't exactly sure what it all meant. She was super excited for him either way. Naruto deserved everything and more. As a wedding present, otousan offered him free ramen for life.

As a shark a mile away from a bleeding wound, Naruto's eyes landed on the bag in her hand. "What's that?"

The receptionist sighed, still looking out the glass doors. "It's for Kakashi-sama. Hey brats, you stop playing with that poor critter!" She ran slashed hobbled away and Ayame gasped as a lizard splatted on the glass door. That was definitely not a ninja thing!

Her attention went back to Naruto as he leaned down and sniffed the bag. "Tsuemen noodles and vegetables rolls. These are for sensei?"

Ayame nodded and then, excitedly, she said, "Could you take this up to him?"

Naruto eyed her suspiciously, and maybe even a little hurt. "What's in it for me?"

Ayame stared him down. "You eat free at Ichiraku's. Every day."

"But I'm not there right now."

"I see your point. I will give you one rice roll."

"Two and we have a deal." His blue eyes narrowed as she remained quiet for a few seconds. He drove a hard bargain but she was willing to meet him halfway.

"Fine, two. But you say nothing about this to otousan. I have to do this for a week. If he finds out I'm slacking in serving the Hokage, I'll get chewed out. Understand?"

"Yes!" Naruto cheered and it made Ayame's heart happy. Reaching for the bag, he said, "You've got yourself a deal. Now I'll just take my share and _then_ take this up to Kakashi-sensei—"

"Take what up to me?"

Kakashi stood at the opening of a hallway in all his kage robed glory. He was also slouching and looking like he hadn't slept in a week. Ayame immediately bowed. There were two old people standing behind him, also in formal robes—a man and a woman whose eyes could no longer be seen thanks to time's glorious socket wrinkles. Ayame was vaguely sure they were a part of some sort of council the Konoha leadership kept around. The receptionist that was hysterically chasing the group of students outside went ignored.

Naruto held up the paper bag as if it were a grand prize he was delivering to the Hokage. "Ayame-nechan is bringing you food for a whole week! Isn't that great?"

Kakashi barely glanced at her. After dismissing him the other night, Ayame admitted she deserved the cool nonchalance. It was what she had asked for. "You can leave it in the jonin lounge. I have some business to attend to."

Naruto was immediately offended. "If I leave it there someone will eat it."

Ayame placed her hand on his arm. "It's alright." Only a few more days of this and she would never have to see Hatake Kakashi outside of a formal event ever again.

The next morning—day four—Ayame entered the administration building and nearly went right back out the door. Hatake Kakashi stood at the information desk making small talk with the receptionist. Today he wasn't wearing formal robes. Instead he wore a gray flak jacket and a red band around his left bicep that read 'six fire.' Not for the first time, Ayame wondered why he used a mask. He was a handsomely put together man and seemed completely relaxed within himself. She quickly shoved those thoughts away and reminded herself he had _offered her stuff_.

The receptionist giggled and covered her reddening cheeks at whatever Kakashi had said. He was leaning an elbow on the counter and his other hand rested on his chest, as if talking about himself. Apparently the receptionist noticed her first, although Ayame sincerely disbelieved that.

Kakashi followed the receptionist's gaze. "Oh, Ayame-chan," he said, apparently surprised he had just detected her. She held back the urge from throwing the stupid bag at his stupid mask and his stupid ninja boots. "What brings you here?"

It seemed he had changed his mind about treating her with a cool nonchalance and decided on creepily cheery behavior. His eyes were crinkled in that manner she used to see him do to a young team seven when he would take them out to Ichiraku's. They would say or do something not entirely proper and he would just give them that look, as if nothing phased him but deep down he was judging hard. It was the same look he had given her at the wedding when she had kissed the exposed part of his cheek.

Today she decided to respond with a quick bow. "Lunch from Ichiraku's. Have a good day." She exited the building and didn't look back.

Day five was worse. The receptionist, whose name was Kaede, had been specifically instructed to escort Ayame into the Hokage's office and promptly abandon her at the threshold with two beefy ANBU guards whose main purpose seemed to be door openers. Never in all her days had Ayame ever thought she would step foot in the Hokage's office, but alas, here she was, forced to interrupt what looked to be an important assembly.

Kakashi cheerfully waved at her as he sat at a desk stacked with a ton of scrolls, a picture frame and a closed laptop. She tried not to scowl at a mug that said "I'm the Boss" with a colorful pinwheel in it. Most of the office's upper walls were window panels that oversaw a lot of the village. Also, the room was filled with a least a dozen masked ANBU, whom all for some reason were finding her to be the most interesting thing in the world. To their credit, she was standing there like an idiot, having interrupted a very serious meeting. Serious because, well, these were _freaking ANBU_. She tightened her grip on the brown bag and held her chin up. She didn't know why he was doing this, but she could handle anything he threw at her.

If he could not treat her as before, then she most definitely would.

So on day six, when she was forced to interrupt another meeting, this time with the Tsuchikage and Fire Daimyo, she simply bowed, personally handed Kakashi the food, bowed three more times, answered basic questions with the greatest manners she had ever put into practice, was talked into serving the Hokage's guests, bowed one more time and then politely left. Only when she had exited the building had she freaked out and run home.

She was sure day seven would have been just as traumatizing but she called off, much to her father's disappointment and later to her frustration, because otousan decided to hold off delivering the last lunch until she returned. She woke up nauseas and spent the entire morning throwing up. And then when there was nothing left in her stomach, she threw up liquids. A worry seeded itself in her mind because her period had not come last week as she thought it would. Her breasts were unprecedentedly sore and she had never felt so dizzy in her life. She pushed the seedling of worry into the farthest reaches of her mind (because there was absolutely _no freaking way_ ) and slept the day away.

On day eight, she also stayed home.

On day nine, even though it was a Sunday and she still felt nauseas, she held her breakfast down and decided to deliver that last lunch to get it out of the way. She had to suck it up. Staying at her apartment would only disquiet her further. The seedling from the past two days had turned into a mammoth sized red oak and she was scared out of her mind. Work usually helped with stress. Well, except when work led her to the man that had planted the red oak in the first place. Oh God above, she sincerely prayed Kakashi hadn't planted anything besides figurative worries.

She approached the administration building. What emotionally traumatizing thing would Kakashi have prepared for her today? Whatever it was, she was not sure she could play it cool like before. Today officially sucked butt so hard—

Hatake Kakashi dropped from the sky and landed at her feet. She screamed and threw the bag of food at him. He expertly caught it without any of the contents spilling.

"Hello, Ayame-chan."

Ayame concentrated on breathing and looked up, hand gripping her chest. Where had he jumped from? The roof? One day someone would drop dead from a heart attack and it would be all thanks to ninjas' preferable method of travel. She should be used to it by now but her nerves were just so worked up and— _oh no_ —it was happening. Her equilibrium titled and Ayame hurried to a hedge nearby. There was a lot of dry heaving before she actually vomited and she had to hold her bangs out of the way. By the time she finished, she was on her knees. She lifted the end of her apron against her mouth.

"Ayame?" Kakashi's voice was right behind her and she tried not to get affected at how full of worry he sounded. "How can I help?" Oh she was so embarrassed right now. Why did this have to happen in front Kakashi of all people? Oh no—she would _not_ cry. By pure force of will she conserved her tears inside her eye sockets. Kakashi touched her shoulder and she quickly stood to smack his hand away but her equipoise hadn't returned so halfway through the attack she decided to use him as an anchor opposed to a punching bag. She gripped the end of his sleeve.

The sides of his eyes creased. "Better?"

"If you don't stop smiling I'm going to throw up on your boots." Gone was the formal attitude she had decided to treat him with. She felt so sick she didn't care!

"Hmm. Duly noted. Should we find somewhere to sit?"

* * *

There was an influx in population and not everyone had the proper immigration papers in order. Kakashi had to strengthen the borders to help establish easier access to documentation. Of course only if the immigrant was a suitable asset to their community. He sent administers to get a village census. But at this point, Konoha was becoming less of a village and more of city. There was plenty of room within their walls but in a decade he was not sure if there would be. He had been thinking to physically expand the village but finding the right geographical angle would be difficult.

The protective wall around Konohagakure could not be expanded and he was hesitant to create another wall outside of the original one. It would not be on purpose, but an outer wall would therefore create an inner wall that would mostly hold longtime residents and would separate newcomers. Any opportunity for hostile division was not a good idea.

Notwithstanding what Koharu and Homura believed, Kakashi thought about this predicament very seriously. He was a man with nerves to spare—for everybody except them. They had good intentions, with the village's best interest at heart one hundred percent, but they had a way about them that screamed extreme conservatism. Tsunade had been right to prepare him. He was all for old fashioned things, but paranoia was not his go-to emotion. He would not have lived very long in his line of work and was still confused on how they had.

So when the ANBU guard had hinted at the elders' incoming, using their prearranged warning of tapping the door two times with a pause and then another tap, Kakashi slid a window panel open. He made a mental note to give Fuko a raise. The ANBU was always looking out.

Kakashi jumped onto the terracotta shingles. He scanned the parameter for propriety's sake and saw Ayame making her way to the administration building with a bag and a pretty little cardigan. Oh. He thought she had finished bringing Ichiraku's two days ago.

She had proved to be a great source of amusement, much to her melancholy. It was a small, harmless retribution from his part for having been ignored. He supposed abusing his title was not the greatest exercise of power but if she wanted to remain a humble subject then who was he to direct her otherwise? Being Hokage had its advantages. What he said usually went and no one questioned his odd request to have a simple girl disturb confidential conferences.

When she had walked in on the Tsuchikage and the Fire Daimyo holding that paper bag, the older men had been just as amused as Kakashi—and also very curious as to what tasty treaty was so important to the Hokage that he would allow an otherwise unprecedented interruption. Hiding astonishment very poorly, Ayame had bowed deeply to each influential man and offered rolls which they happily took. Of course, after their attendants had taste tested for poison, leaving Ayame mortified.

She really was an expressive creature.

Now Ayame and he quietly sat on a stone bench outside the administration building. There was an isolated hedge garden off to the right of the entrance, one of many others. It was a circular plot with tall bushes as walls. A fountain stood in the center of the garden, in radius to the bench. The hedges kept them out-of-the-way and would give Ayame a moment's time to compose herself.

He wanted to ask if she was feeling better but he could tell she was not. Her lips were pale and her palms clammy. She was peaky and he could see she had lost weight in the two days she had not come. She also sat as far from him as the bench allowed with the paper bag between them, small fingers tightly intertwined on her lap. They were her only focal point of interest.

He already knew how his presence made her feel so he treaded carefully. "Should I take you to the hospital?"

"No!" They both seemed taken aback by the outburst. And then there was silence and it was awkward. She had asked for things to remain as they were before the affair but he had not treated her as she had asked. But he could start now.

For reference, he thought of the times he had seen her throughout the years. He remembered when she would play with Kushina as a little girl and run circles around Minato so he could eventually scoop her up and toss her in the air.

There was a distinct memory he carried with him of the last time he saw Minato and Kushina alive. Kushina had been very pregnant, eating ramen at Ichiraku's. Minato had asked a fourteen year old Kakashi to meet them there. He had arrived and a very young Ayame had her cheek pressed against Kushina's belly. Teuchi had tried to peel his daughter off the Hokage's wife but she had refused, vehemently believing she was having a full on conversation with an unborn Naruto.

Kakashi got an idea. "Ayame-chan, is there anyone you would like me to call? Your father, or maybe..." Ayame sat, quiet but listening. "Naruto is at the Academy. Should I call him?" The reaction was quick. A minuscule smile formed at the mention of the young Uzumaki. She turned to him and nodded.

Kakashi did a one handed tiger sign and Fuko morphed out from the gravel before them. Ayame watched in fascination as the ANBU slowly rose out of the cobblestone. He stayed positioned in a low bow, one fist and knee touching the ground.

"Hokage-sama!"

"Fuko, tell Uzumaki Naruto to come find us."

"Understood!" Fuko transfigured back into the gravel.

"That's amazing." Ayame leaned forward, concentrating on the area where Fuko had disappeared. "How did he do that?"

"The ANBU Black Ops are all marked in order to be directly summoned by the Hokage."

"Marked?" She seemed curious, enough so that she forewent silence. He took it as a chance to perhaps create an impasse between them.

"Like a tattoo. You may have noticed it." He meant that she may have noticed it on Fuko, but her enormous eyes fell from his face to his left arm and she blushed. Kakashi coughed, feeling a little flushed himself. "Oh, right."

She hesitated at first, but she said, "Is that what that is?"

He was glad she did not emotionally withdraw again so he followed her line of conversation. She was also getting some color back. "After the Third War, the Yondaime appointed me to ANBU. He thought it would be good for me."

"Was it?"

Kakashi shrugged a shoulder. "For a time."

"Can you do that thing?"

He chuckled. "Yes. But the Godaime would have to summon me."

Ayame's eyes widened. "Tsunade-sama can still do it?"

"Have you heard of an animal summoning?" She was really into the conversation. That was good.

She nodded. "Hm-mm! I don't remember much but jutsu theory is a common subject civilians take throughout school. It teaches those of us that can't use chakra to understand those who can."

"That's right. Animal summons function the same way as an ANBU summon. More than one person can have a contract with an animal. Similarly, more than one Hokage can summon a contracted ANBU member." He was puzzled at her sudden willingness to participate in conversation with him. He recognized her lack of stubbornness probably had to do with him being less of a patronizing arse. Also, whatever illness she was enduring undoubtedly had waning affects on her reasoning. She was very dehydrated—maybe the flu? Either way, she was acting like her old self with him. If it was temporary, then it was fine.

At the very least he could keep her distracted until Naruto arrived.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto was having the year of his life. He started it by marrying one Hyuuga Hinata, the kindest, most beautiful, hard working shinobi he had ever met. And sexy. And now Sasuke had agreed to stay a couple more weeks. Apparently Sakura's letter had done more than everybody else had thought it would. Not only that, but Naruto was exceedingly ready to take that jonin exam. Iruka had given him two mock exams, and to both their excitements, he passed with flying colors. And to top it all off, he was on lunch break.

Hinata sometimes prepared him bentos and today was her off day so she had gone all out. He wanted her to come visit him for lunch but she had made plans with her family. He had kept her all to himself for the past two weeks.

"Hinata-channnnn," he said to himself, missing her. She was so sweet and good and better than he deserved. She would try telling him different by furrowing her brows and frowning, but all that did was make her look adorable and him feel some type of way. Her shyness would sometimes get in the way of their communication but he wouldn't have it any other way. Mostly, he was awed by her. God, he loved her.

Naruto finished the last onigiri in one bite and he sensed Fuko before the ANBU knocked at the classroom door.

"Hey!" He rolled up the scroll he had been scanning.

Fuko gave a quick nod of acknowledgment. "Uzumaki Naruto, the Hokage requests to see you. He is outside of the admin building, in one of the hedge gardens." Carrying out his orders, Fuko turned and left.

Naruto jumped out the window. In one of the hedge gardens? He closed his eyes to summon sage chakra and opened them to scan the area. There were five different hedges that represented each of the shinobi villages. At the center of each circle was one aesthetic object that represented a village: fountain, sand hourglass, stone garden, lightening statue and a pillar of fire that Konoha had sealed to be eternally ignited.

Pin pointing Kakashi's direction, Naruto jumped from the Academy's roof to the admin's. Kakashi was with someone—a woman obviously because she was pregnant. The little extra glow of chakra was undeniable and lived below that of the mother's. Naruto smiled thinking of the future and how Hinata would one day be the mother of his children.

Not wasting time, Naruto mightily propelled himself to land within the fountain hedge. "Hey!" he said before registering Kakashi's companion.

"Naruto!" Ayame smiled and waved. She was pale but otherwise happy to see him. She sat on a bench with sensei, a paper bag between them. She stood up and swayed, but continued to walk towards him. Naruto's eyes did not miss the way Kakashi reached to steady her but retracted last minute, abstaining from touching her. He remained sitting.

"Nechan?" Was Ayame really going to have a baby? Naruto never knew she was married, or, um, could it be something else? Naruto allowed his sage sensory to focus at her chakra's base. There, right below it was a strong pulse of living chakra entirely independent of hers.

"Your eyes have eyeshadow again!" Ayame laughed.

Naruto good heartedly glared, letting his sage chakra fade. "Are you making fun of me again?"

Ayame shrugged and then elbowed him, a sign of mutual jesting. She opened her mouth to say something but then shut it and promptly lost balance. Naruto easily caught her.

"Hey, nechan, you don't look so good." Here she was sick and still bringing Ichiraku's to sensei. Ayame was such a champ. He really wanted to know what was going on with her, but maybe they weren't as close as he thought since she never made mention of a boyfriend. When he had returned engaged to Hinata, he had told everybody every day. He'd been so excited. Ayame seemed like the same type to share good news, but maybe he was wrong about that too.

In his arms, she smiled and shrugged again. "Eh. It's a bug."

Naruto then wondered if she knew. It wouldn't be the first time his sensory skills detected conception before a mother did. The first time he was confused, thinking something had been sealed within them like a tailed beast, but he realized easily enough that it was just a baby. He also learned not to publicly blurt out congratulations when the extra flare of chakra was so small. Women didn't always know.

Kakashi stood. "I was hoping you could take her home."

Naruto shrugged one shoulder. "Sure. Come on, nechan. Mind if I carry you?"

"You better not." She narrowed her eyes. He picked her up anyway and she squeaked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Not so tight!"

She squeezed harder and he coughed. "That's what you get!"

"I will drop you from the mountain!"

"I will hold on so tight I'll take you down with me!"

"I will use my jutsu to disappear!"

"I will haunt you forever and ever!"

"I totally won that."

Ayame laughed. "You did."

Naruto regarded Kakashi and grinned. "Off we go, sensei."

"Naruto..." Kakashi hesitated. It wasn't common but Naruto had seen it before. Maybe there weren't any utensils in the paper bag. He hated when that happened too.

"Yeah?"

"She's dehydrated from vomiting. Have her drink some water. "

"Oh. Sure!"

* * *

Ayame watched as Naruto jumped from roof to roof at the most leisure pace she had ever seen any shinobi go. She felt as if she was on a Ferris wheel. Sure she was sick, but anytime he landed maybe a little too rough, he'd looked horrified and apologize profusely. She didn't miss the way he looked at her tummy either.

Being the citizen of a village with the world's highest shinobi population, Ayame had had her fair share of ninja rescues, haphazardly launching from place to place. It was always rough and turbulent. Then again,the few times she had been carried the village was under a state of emergency.

This wasn't an emergency and sure she was sick, but he kept looking at her—

"Naruto..."

"Yeah?" They landed oh so gently on the rooftop of her apartment building.

"Please tell me what you see." She had to ask. There was no way she could walk into the hospital and ask to be tested. Her father was a well-known artisan and she would not dare risk the humiliation if it was all for nothing but a flu. No one could know this oak-sized fear, especially if it was just figurative.

Naruto's eyes widened and looked up to the clouds. "Uhhh, a blue sky—HAHAHA!"

The tears that she withheld from Kakashi began to fall. This was Naruto. She could trust him with her life and her vulnerability. "Please, tell me if you see something here." She touched her lower abdomen as he held her there on a January afternoon.

Having the laughter taken right out of him, Naruto calmed, figuring it was time to be serious. His blue eyes darkened with intuition and consideration. The skin around them turned red again and his gaze landed where her hands were.

"There's definitely something there…another chakra."

She turned her face into his neck and cried.

"Hey, nechan...did someone hurt you?" His voice was the most serious she had heard it. She shook her head and she felt him relax a good deal as his shoulders dropped. "That's good."

He said that it was good but he sounded as confused as she felt. She couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't. It had been a mistake. She had been lonely and Kakashi had been so willing and so _present_. He had looked at her like she was the only one that could take the ache away and she had shared the sentiment very strongly.

The worse of the mistake was supposed to be a painful conversation that she would one day have with a future fiancé, as they confessed notable milestones that were taken too early and without one another. They would forgive each other and move on, more excited about a future together than anything else.

But this was different. There was a person inside of her and people would know. It would grow and grow and Kakashi would know—Oh God— _her father would know_. He would be so disappointed. What was she supposed to do?

"Nechan, what should I do?"

Wiping at her face, one arm still around Naruto's shoulder, Ayame sniffled. "I guess just take me home."

"Should we...is the dad...?" He genuinely seemed concerned and Ayame didn't even know what to tell him. He wasn't really asking whole questions anyway. Maybe he thought she was a floozy—the thought of Uzumaki Naruto having a low opinion of her made her burst into loud sobs.

* * *

Naruto knew he could sometimes miss social cues that were evident to others, and perhaps jump to conclusions when he felt information was being withheld or incomplete. So he tried not to today. The situation seemed really _delicate_.

He led Ayame to her apartment, helped her to bed, and made sure she drank a whole glass of water—like sensei had asked. She must've been incredibly dehydrated after all the vomiting and crying. She was really upset too, knowing about the baby. He had never actually seen her become upset with anything except rude customers. He had always thought a baby was a good thing, but he supposed having a baby when there was no dad around was hard.

Naruto washed and dried the glass cup, setting it on a towel with embroidered edges. She had a lot of embroidery themed materials in her apartment: curtains, tablecloths, towels, pillows, seat cushions—even the quilt laid out on the sofa. She liked that frilly stuff even more than Hinata and Sakura did.

Maybe he could call Sakura to come take a look at Ayame. He glanced towards her room from the kitchen. It was the middle of the day and she was sound asleep. She had asked him to keep everything a secret—that she would eventually have a plan and that he didn't need to worry about her. But how could he not worry? She seemed really sad and just as confused as he was.

Old man Teuchi and Ayame had always been kind to him, before the fame and the glory, and he owed them for everything they'd done for him. They had looked out when no one but Iruka and the Sandaime had. She was part of the original group of people who cared—who weren't biologically related but might as well have been. She was his sister.

Naruto wanted to know who did this to her. They had taken what they wanted and now they weren't around. She was crying all by herself—but what could he do? He could not fix this with his fists or well-meaning words.

* * *

 _A knell to mine ear;_

 _A shudder comes o'er me—_

 _Why wert thou so dear?_

 _They know not I knew thee,_

 _Who knew thee too well:—_

 _Long, long shall I rue thee,_

 _Too deeply to tell._

 _-Lord G.G. Byron, Stanza III of "When we two parted"_


	4. The Little Extra Flare of Chakra

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **I basically wrote Ch. 4 and 5 together, but had to separate them for suspenseful purposes. Please be aware that the train of thought narration is key to understanding this story.**

 **Also. It'd be lovely if all my beautiful followers actually reviewed. –Looks forlornly off into a sunset-**

* * *

The Little Extra Flare of Chakra and the Fairly Easy Acknowledgement of It Part I

* * *

 _He sat naked on the wooden floor, staring towards the door, blaming it for all his current predicaments. To preserve some semblance of modesty, he bent the knee closest to her so she wouldn't continue to witness what he carelessly bore for the past hour. He dragged a hand through his hair, thinking that no matter how far into peace he was ministering the shinobi world into he was a flawed man—_

An incredibly flawed, stupid, _stupid_ man.

Kakashi stared at the double doors of the office, agitated at the persistent daydreaming. He could not stop thinking of Ichiraku Ayame.

He knew for months she had fancied him. At the wedding she kissed the exposed part of his cheek and he repaid her flirtation in kind by following her home and taking what was not his to take. It had been years since he'd been physical with a woman. He'd been so busy with a fledgling team seven and then Sasuke's desertion and then the war and then the sudden kage promotion—he had not known he would take things as far as he had with her. He did not think she would permit him such liberties with her body either. What inexperienced woman allowed a man— _he could have just walked her home._ It could have been different.

 _"Please don't go."_

She had said it while holding a pale quilt against her chest. The tops of her cheeks were as rosy as the petals on that pretty comforter of hers. Her eyes were enormous and dark and she had pleaded with him not to go. A lonely woman, he recalled how her nimble fingers touched his. A lonely woman allowed a man to take such liberties with her body and he had not been any better as he had reached for her again.

Kakashi grabbed the colorful pinwheel in his mug and gently blew at it through his mask, the colorful vanes propelled into a languid rotation.

Today's workload had practically done itself and there was nothing to occupy him but a pretty little ramen chef who'd recently developed a penchant for occupying space in his thoughts. All this without trying, really. In fact, he was completely sure she would rather be anywhere _but_ in his thoughts. Whatever misguided merit he had earned with her in the past all but vanished due to his momentary inability to control his lust.

She did not behave as before, with long glances and accidental touches. He would always act as if he did not notice her peculiar inclinations towards him—the times were infrequent anyway. He'd seen her very little the past year and now she could not even look at him.

Kakashi caught himself.

If there were things to do and people to boss around, then this new disturbance would not have developed as far as it had so early in the morning. If he was working, he would have not allowed thoughts of a woman to deter him from his responsibilities—not again anyway.

There was simply nothing to do. Shikamaru had taken charge to distribute census administers and Sasuke was remaining in the village until the Tsuchikage was ready (Kakashi could not make any further moves there until he had the go from Iwa and Ame).

Continuing to fiddle with the pinwheel, Kakashi lifted his feet on the edge of the chair and spun. The pink swivel chair with extra cushioning had been a gift from Tsunade. He loved it. Everyone else hated it.

What he wouldn't give for an assignment of his own, but kage level missions were few and far between. This was good, of course, as kage missions usually indicated something was very off with the world and were exceptionally dangerous. Tsunade had made that very clear. Kakashi vaguely remembered when the Sandaime would arrive from missions—no one knew when he had left, only that he had returned. Kage missions were always hush-hush and for good reason. It was never safe to openly disclose that a village's military leader had gone AWOL.

That still, small voice private to him, with a partiality for morality and goodness, took back the desire for a mission. Although it was good, Kakashi's thoughts slipped backward.

What he'd done yesterday had also been detrimental to controlling the unwanted musings. He had deliberately gone through Ichiraku Teuchi and Ayame's records after sending her home with Naruto. It was not truly an abuse of power since it was his right to keep tabs on all Konoha citizens, but the fact that the investigating derived from private curiosity rather than a professional one was tell-tale.

He knew her mother had passed away long ago, but he was taken aback to discover she had died during the Kyuubi attack. He marveled at Teuchi and Ayame then. Their treatment of a young Naruto had been nothing but excellent since he first discovered their relationship. When an entire village had hated the boy, a widowered Teuchi had served him ramen and had taught his daughter to do so as well. Even Kakashi, who more than anybody should have been there for an infant Naruto, had avoided the jinchuuriki like the plague. At the time, losing Minato had been the final straw that led Kakashi into a dark place.

Since the very beginning, Ayame's handling of Naruto was nothing short of virtuous—no one would think the boy housed the very thing that robbed her of a mother. Even now Ayame loved Naruto like a brother and Kakashi was more than sure Naruto held the same regard towards the woman.

Kakashi tried not to sigh in audible relief when Shikamaru wordlessly entered the office and set shogi up on the desk.

"Done so soon?" Kakashi returned the pinwheel to its rightful place on the desk and grabbed his share of koma pieces, carefully watching Shikamaru set the game.

Kakashi had never said anything but he knew this was a game the young man had played with both his late sensei and father. Asuma used to boast about Shikamaru's strategic ability in shogi to anyone who would listen—or not listen. Kakashi had belonged to the latter group. Talk about blatantly showcasing favoritism—and everyone was always so quick to accuse Kakashi and his partiality towards Sasuke.

"It's not like I have to be the one to count heads. Immigration is killer though. We have to send more people down there."

"Duly noted. Now let's play."

One day, a few months after becoming Kakashi's assistant, Shikamaru had nonchalantly asked if he wanted to play shogi. Kakashi had responded as dispassionately and agreed. Since then the two went at it whenever there was downtime. Kakashi had been pleased to find a likeminded strategist and he was sure Shikamaru thought the same—whereas Asuma always lost and Shikaku always won, Kakashi and Shikamaru were fairly matched. It was seventeen to fifteen now, in Shikamaru's favor.

Shikamaru smirked during one of his moves and Kakashi frowned. They took turns and Shikamaru was ahead in protecting the king. He knew what it meant to Shikamaru—the king. Before he died, Asuma had confided to the young man that the piece represented Konoha's next generation, and more specifically, Asuma's unborn child. Over tea, Kurenai had volunteered the information to Kakashi, who at the time had been deciding whether or not to take Shikamaru as an assistant. Kurenai had been looking off into the distance then, voice think with emotion, holding Asuma's sleeping child.

The shogi failed to distract him and Kakashi recalled the way Naruto, eyelids red with sage chakra, had looked at Ayame's abdomen.

It was entirely possible, he knew it. The idea had vaguely crossed his mind once or twice, his brain trained to strategically produce potential outcomes in any given situation. He had not been careful and he did not think she had known how to.

He could not ask. It would be presumptuous and he had done enough. But if she was and she chose to keep it from him, what would he do? Or if she told him, what then? He would take responsibility no doubt about it. Would she allow him that? She wanted nothing to do with his sense of responsibility before. She could very well feel the same about even this. He did not know her half as well as he wished—another reason why he had done a very stupid thing by sleeping with her. He could have approached her differently that night. He could have offered to walk her home and perhaps even stolen a kiss or two before departing, leaving both their integrities intact.

This was all hypothetical. She could very well not be and Naruto's directional gaze meant nothing.

"Your turn, Hokage-sama."

Kakashi closed his eyes. He was thinking much too often of Ayame, and if he was honest, it had not started on that night over two weeks ago.

Shikamaru made a move that sobered Kakashi's masculinity. It was time to redirect his thoughts and get the upper hand.

"So, how's Temari-san these days?"

On cue, the young man startled and accidentally dropped a koma on the board. Any accidental moves counted as a real turn in shogi and could not be taken back. Kakashi nearly patted himself on the back.

Shikamaru was truly an asset. He was pragmatic and frank—qualities he shared with Kakashi. At times, Shikamaru's practical bluntness could come off as rude and Kakashi would have to redirect and cushion his matter-of-fact mannerisms. But lately, the young Nara had shown remarkable improvement in his social skills. Even geniuses had their faults—Kakashi knew this very well. But failure begot perseverance and eventually it brought success. And Shikamaru _was_ succeeding and Kakashi was sure the Suna girl deserved some credit for his transformative people skills.

One day, Shikamaru would be Naruto's assistant and that brought Kakashi a great peace of mind. Naruto, in all his cleverness, needed strict individuals like Sasuke and Shikamaru by his side. And Hinata, too. She was a good match for the young Uzumaki. Her kindness fueled and encouraged his. It would drown out Sasuke and Shikamaru's intensities when the occasion called for it. Her tenderness would also douse Naruto's own proclivity towards intensity.

What had the Sandaime always quoted back in the Academy? "'An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,' as the Hokage's wife is the fuel to the Will of Fire." The Sandaime had gotten the proverb from one of many antic writings authored by the Sage of Six Paths. Since the war, Kakashi himself had picked up a lot of literature that Otsutsuki Hogoromo had written or inspired. The man had been wise and cared deeply about the human condition, advocating strongly for the connections between people, especially the unity between husbands and their wives.

Close to beating Shikamaru, Kakashi got an idea.

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. He who loves his wife loves himself."

"Why are you quoting that?" Shikamaru dropped another peace, completely mortified at the idea of Temari and marriage being brought up in the span of two minutes. One would think Kakashi had just told him Asuma had been alive all these years and was waiting for the right moment to surprise everyone for a good laugh. Shikamaru's people skills might have transformed, but his opinion of women and commitment to them was as strained as ever.

Kakashi smiled. "Checkmate."

* * *

"How's baker boy these days?"

Ayame shrugged a shoulder, continuing to watch the film playing out before her. Raiden had brought otousan's projector and hung a white sheet on the wall of her tiny living room. She'd been in bed since Naruto brought her in yesterday and otousan warned her to stay quarantined until she was better. Too bad what she had wasn't contagious.

Pitying her enough, Raiden had decided to take time out of his morning to move her from the bed to the sofa. He sat on the floor, back against the sofa. He eyed her from his spot near her feet. She was taking up the whole sofa, obviously miserable. She hadn't laughed once at the comedy.

He said, "Seriously? You used to talk about him all the time last time I was here. When you weren't talking about him you were with him."

"Are you bored or something?" She drank bottled vitamin water through a bendy straw, curtesy of otousan. She had fifty more in the kitchen. Her father was free today and dropped the cases off earlier. He'd worn a ridiculous scarf around his face. To ward off the disease, he had said.

"Konoha doesn't exactly have a red light district." She flung a pillow at his head and he laughed as it missed him by several feet. "Kidding. I was kidding! But seriously, Yuu was a cool guy. What happened?"

"Tomoe the cobbler's daughter happened."

"Ouch."

"Ouch." Ayame had moved on to bigger and better things like one nightstands with the most influential man in the Shinobi world and then accidentally getting pregnant by him. She unattractively slurped the last of the vitamin water. Life was great.

"Hey, Raiden-kun?"

"What's up, kiddo?" He munched on some almond flour cupcakes she'd made days ago but never ate, thanks to her constant state of nausea.

"How long are you staying in Konoha?" Last time he had only stayed for a few days but more than a week had passed so she wondered what was up. Otousan had met Raiden during the Third War. He had been seven or something—apparently he had been an Iwagakure orphan and her father had taken him in. He found him eating trash leftovers in one of the war campsites and the rest was history. At the time, she had been two when her father returned from his service with Raiden.

"I thought your old man would have told you. I've been trying to get my citizenship going but Konoha's policies are tough."

That got her attention. "You want to live here?!"

"Sure. If immigration can get it together. It's a mess down there. Apparently all of Fire Country wants to live here."

It was good news—but then she remembered her current predicament and not even the prospect of having Raiden permanently nearby could cheer her up. She wished she could hate men but all her friends were men and her extended family only seemed capable of producing boys. She had an older sister but Ayame saw her as much as she saw Raiden, which was sadder because she lived in Konoha. With her husband and three boys, Yumi lived on the fancier side, far from ramen chefs, bakers and cobblers.

"You're really staying?"

"Yeah, well. It ain't such a bad place after all."

She laughed bitterly. "And here I was thinking you could take me with you when you left."

That got _his_ attention. "Are you serious, kiddo?"

Ayame shrugged. "Maybe for like a year?"

She could give birth in that timespan and maybe…maybe give it to a family that could take better care of it. Or maybe she could come back with it, acting like she found it abandoned out there in the great wide open and decided to keep and raise it as her own. But what if it looked just like her—or worse, just like Kakashi? Silver hair wasn't exactly common in Konoha. She could say she found it up north.

"Yeah right. Your old man would wither away if his little girl left him for more than a week. Remember when your sister got married? I'd never seen the old man so depressed." Raiden had a point. But her old man would also wither away once he found out what she had done.

"He was sad when okaasan died too," she said offhandedly. Ayame had been four so she couldn't remember her mother too well, but Raiden did. Raiden had already lived with them for over two years when the tragedy happened. He had left weeks after, never to be seen again until years later.

"Hm." Raiden frowned. Her father said Raiden had really loved her mother.

"Do you miss her?"

"Not as much anymore. She was your mom."

"Was she a good one?" The film was all but forgotten.

Raiden smiled that smile. "Oh yeah. She was the best. She was always running after you and Yumi, dressing ya up in all this frilly crap." He made a show of looking around her apartment. "I am almost sure all this furniture is made from those dresses."

She laughed. "That would be super creepy."

"Super. But that's you. Super creepy."

The projecting image began to stutter for the second time that morning. The projector—it was older than her. Raiden reached for it, cursing under his breath. Ayame examined his tattoo sleeve as he worked to fix the projector. There were three bold ringlets encircling his forearm and one thick line that started from his shoulder, went through the rings and ended at the wrist. He had it ever since she could remember. As children, she used to call it a double-edged toothbrush and he used to get so mad.

Back then she hadn't thought it odd that an orphaned child had a tattoo. But when she was older, educated in an academic system where shinobi lifestyles were part of the curriculum, she understood Raiden wasn't so much an orphan with a sleeve as he was a child ninja, branded by a village he had abandoned.

But now it reminded her of what Kakashi had said about tattoo summoning— _oh Kakashi—_ everything reminded her of him.

So much had she forced herself to pretend nothing happened—going as far as asking him to do the same—that she did not even consider the possibility of conception. Kakashi had tried so hard yesterday to be cordial and considerate. Whatever teasing behavior he had set his heart on the previous week ended once he saw how ill she was. It had been sweet and Ayame knew she could not hide this from him.

She had a feeling he would figure it out on his own—that the authority of being Hokage somehow granted him supernatural powers of omniscience and omnipresence. That absurd notion aside, time would be the telling factor here and then not only would Kakashi know, but her family and acquaintances would too. Her belly would grow and then there would be a baby in her arms with the very pressing question of who the father was.

What was she supposed to say? That the father was the Hokage and simply continue with her life as if bearing the child of Fire Country's most powerful man wasn't a big deal? Unlikely. Konoha held great reverence for all of the previous and present kage's clans and relatives. She knew this was bigger than her— _and it scared her to death_.

That old receptionist had said it best. Ayame wasn't the brightest crayon in the box and she had really outdone herself this time. She had planned on burying the one time affair in that dusty, plain box everybody kept at the back of their closets. But she could not with this—not with something like _this_. Nothing in the world that was hidden could not be made manifested, nor anything so secret that it could not eventually be known and come to light.

 _This_ was certainly one of the more obvious things in the physical world.

And she was not a selfish person. She was hard working and independent and kind and genuinely cared for people, and although she was not the smartest girl in the world nor the most even-tempered person, she knew she could not keep this to herself. And more importantly, she could not do it alone.

She had cried all of yesterday and woke up in tears that very morning. When Raiden arrived, he dismissed her splotchy face for whatever virus she had. He even threatened that if she got him sick so help him God, he would burn everything that had embroidery in her apartment—basically everything.

Raiden repaired the projector and resumed watching the film.

Of course, Ayame paid minimal attention, far, far away in mind and emotion, wondering how on God's green earth she was to tell Kakashi that surprise, surprise—you're going to be a father!

* * *

It was past noon and Raiden had left to do whatever he did in Konoha during his sporadic visits. Ayame briskly passed buildings and people and friendly vendors. She had neatly separated her hair into two inverted braids and wore her best yellow shirtwaist dress with accordion pleats on the skirt. Her face looked like it had been slapped around from all the crying but there was nothing she could do about that. She even donned her mother's pearl earrings, hoping to look her best.

Maybe another woman could do it—live like the world could go burn and only care for herself and a child she had in secret—but not Ayame. There were too many people in her life whose opinion mattered, who would feel confusion and anger if she did this all alone. There were also too many things she wanted to do. Whether or not she would be able to do them anymore, telling Kakashi was the right thing to do.

Noble talk aside, Ayame was terrified.

She was not sure where life would take her after talking with him, and she was less sure what his reaction would be, but she knew he was a good man with an incredible reputation for intelligence and leadership. It was what had attracted her to him in the first place—what had dared her to make passes at him for the past year. If he had noticed them or not didn't matter, not anymore. She did not know what to do in her current circumstances, nor could she still believe they were happening, but she had an inkling that Kakashi would come up with a solution.

It was presumptuous and even a little rude of her to cast off all decision on him, especially since she had been the one giving him the cold shoulder. Now she would also be the one dropping a red oak sized bomb on him and forcing him to be the one to defuse it.

She already began to tear up at the confrontation that was about to take place. She prayed for strength and guidance as she neared Konoha's administration building. Her legs might as well been lead with the pace she struggled to keep. She was still not one hundred percent in her stomach, and definitely not in her emotions, but she repetitively told herself the sooner she got this thing out there, the better.

She was not a child. She would meet this head on and face the consequences of her actions like a champ.

* * *

"Hokage-sama, you have a visitor."

"Oh?" Kakashi looked up from a scroll. No one was scheduled to come in for another hour or so. The ones who casually visited were Gai or his old students. They typically came impromptu, much to the inconvenience of Kaede and every stationed ANBU in the Tower. In a wheelchair, Gai would still come with challenges, Naruto out of boredom, and Sakura would drop by with interesting lunches—by interesting he meant uneatable. But lunchtime had come and gone today, with it Kakashi's victory over shogi. Even Sasuke had shown up unannounced last week.

He was running out of excuses for them and made a mental note to have a conversation about propriety and consideration for others. A conversation, Kakashi felt, he'd been trying to drill into his team and closest friend since he knew them.

"Let them in," Kakashi said. Fuko nodded, uncertain. Kakashi blinked. Now why would that be?

"It's that civilian girl again, Ichiraku Ayame. With lunch, milord. Do you want to take this?"

Kakashi sat straighter. "Yes, Fuko. Thank you. She's a friend."

"Well—yes." Fuko bowed respectfully and exited. He returned not a second later, holding one of the doors open for Ayame.

She held a familiar paper bag and wore an attractive yellow dress with white stockings. Kaede must have waved her off downstairs, probably used to the girl coming in and out of the administration building.

Kakashi immediately noticed the splotchy red of her cheeks and around the eyes, reminiscent of that night. Although not in her work uniform and dressed very nicely, she still looked pale and restless, more than yesterday.

She bowed in greeting. "Good afternoon, Hokage-sama." Her voice was toneless, free hand clutching at the skirt of her dress.

Fuko lingered at the door.

"Fuko, you may go," Kakashi said with a hint of command, eyes honed on a permanently bowing Ayame. What could she want? After she had dismissed him—

"Yes!" Fuko bowed deeply and closed the heavy door.

Kakashi immediately stood and Ayame unbowed, eyes wide. He could spot fear a mile away and he knew she was afraid. He took a step around the desk and she took one backwards. He paused and she seemed surprised that she had so obviously retreated from his advancement.

Hoping to break the silence, he tried practicality. "You're still not feeling well. A week of Ichiraku's has already passed. Although I'm very appreciative of your father, there's no need to continue—"

"No," she interjected and then quickly bowed because her interruption. "I mean, I'm sorry, I just—there's no food in the bag. Otousan doesn't know I'm here."

Kakashi raised a brow. "You're carrying an empty bag?"

He watched her cheeks turn pink as she nodded. "Well, yes. I…needed to speak with you and I thought maybe if I came with it…"

"They'd let you pass again?" She nodded and then looked down at her ankle boots. She was doing that a lot with him—avoiding eye contact. He understood it, but that did not necessarily mean he enjoyed it, much less did he wish for the treatment to continue. "Alright," he said. "You wanted to speak with me?"

She nodded again but said nothing else. His thoughts from earlier returned and Kakashi sighed. He made his way towards her and she glanced up at him then, eyes enormous as ever.

"Would you like to sit somewhere and talk?"

Ayame's splotchy eyes searched the room. "I…I think it's fine here."

He nodded then, not knowing how she wanted to do this. If she had been candid with him when he had confronted her, perhaps they would not be as awkward as they were.

Squaring her shoulders, she began, "I have some news—I brought some news." Then her free hand covered her mouth at the same time her shoulders dropped. She released a muffled sob into her palm and looked mortified that such a sound could actually escape in his presence.

Kakashi's own eyes widened. The paper bag fell and its contents spilled. Two empty containers. Whatever dam she had built between them crumbled and Kakashi saw it all happen.

Her trembling fingers pressed at the corners of her eyes. "Oh— _oh_ I'm so sorry. I don't want to cry right now."

"What is it, Ayame-chan?" he said to her, needing her to say it aloud. His gentleness unraveled her.

Her knees gave out and he grabbed her upper arms, steadying her. He had not touched her since that night, but it was not the time to enjoy it. She spoke through her hands. "I'm— _so sorry_. Please, _please_ know that I'm not—that this isn't— _ohGod_ —how am I supposed to say this?" She released a self-depreciating laugh.

It may had had something to do with that day during Pein's attack, but at her most vulnerable, Kakashi found her to be lovely. Despite her weaknesses and physical limitations, she was always trying to do what was right. Even when she had allowed him into her home that night, he had seen how she had struggled to control herself and how she had mourned when she failed.

"Ayame-chan," he said and there was finality to his voice.

She looked to him then, lowering hands to her chin, mouth forming into a wobbly frown. Two braids started at the top of her head and hung over her breasts with little white ribbons tying the ends. His chest paused in breath, breaking whatever misplaced spell had overcome him.

"Are you pregnant?'

Her eyes widened as many decisions passed through Kakashi's mind, analyzing, hypothesizing, concluding—this time she did not break eye contact, and then, a tiny nod of affirmation.

* * *

 _Though I may speak some tongue of old_

 _Or even spit out some holy word_

 _I have no strength from which to speak_

 _When you sit me down and see I'm weak_

 _-Mumford and Sons, 'Learn Me Right'_


	5. The Little Extra Flare of Chakra II

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Yes. I drew the story's avatar. Yes. It's terrible.**

* * *

The Little Extra Flare of Chakra and the Fairly Easy Acknowledgement of It Part II

* * *

He did not tense, his hands on her forearms did not tighten, nor did he exhale a designated sigh. He only waited until she calmed, and then slowly, slowly held her out to get a good look. The bodice of her dress hugged her breasts and curved down to the waist, flaring out below the hips. There was no swell of a child—she'd lost weight even. It had been two weeks and it would be months until anything showed. Naruto had seen it yesterday, Kakashi was sure of that now.

Her bottom lip wobbled and his eyes immediately landed on them. "I see," he said.

"Sensei?" She used to call him that before the promotion.

"How long have you known?"

"Ye-yesterday." He wondered if it had been Naruto that told her but the question was irrelevant at the moment.

"When does your father have spare time?" Perhaps it was not the best question because Ayame tightened her eyes shut and began to sob again.

"Oh— _oh_ ," she stuttered. " _Ohh_!"

Kakashi led her to the desk and sat her on the chair. Ayame, covering her face, leaned her elbows on the tops of her knees and cried _hard_. Kakashi waited at her side. There was nothing he could do to comfort her—he did not dare touch her more than he already had. His hands clenched and unclenched at random intervals. Minutes passed—

Thoroughly cried out, Ayame sat up slowly. Her hands were full of snot and tears, and with no way of cleaning the mess, she dragged them down the front of her skirt. The wetness darkened the yellow fabric. She hiccupped. "You believe me?"

He leaned against the edge of the desk and pocketed his hands. "The thought crossed my mind a few times."

She sniffled. "Oh."

He nodded. "Oh."

"Otousan has off today."

"We should go talk with him."

She shook her head, a new batch of tears forming. Maybe he should stop bringing Teuchi up.

"I _can't_ tell him."

Kakashi frowned. He thought she would feel that way. She was very close to Teuchi and probably did not want to disappoint him with something like this. If she was concerned about her father's opinion, then there was only one way this could work in her favor—and it was the only logical path Kakashi was willing to take.

"Ayame-chan, I'm going to have to marry you. Do you understand that?"

The thought must have crossed her mind because she did not argue. Her easy resignation surprised him a little but he supposed even Ayame understand what it meant to carry a kage's child. He had given her an option for commitment last week but he would not give her one today.

"Being the Hokage's wife will not be easy."

She nodded.

"You will have to give up a lot."

She nodded, slower this time. She was agreeing with him now, but he knew it would be different later. Perhaps she had an inkling of what was to come, but she did not see what all was at stack for her. Out of the two, her world would be the one to change the most, and she would wrestle with it.

It was possible but Kakashi would not send her away to have a child in secret. Too many things could go awry if the wrong people discovered who the father of the child was. And although Kakashi thought he would never see the day where he sired anything other than a jutsu, he knew if he ever did have a child he would make sure it lived the life he never could—with a father that was very much alive and very present in his or her life.

He would have to call a meeting with Tsunade and the elders. There had not been a Daishukujo at the side of a kage since the Yondaime and Sandaime's wives died the night of the Kyuubi attack. And, he began to realize, there had never been a civilian as Daishukujo.

He could already hear Koharu and Homura now. This was going to be spectacular.

* * *

Shikamaru watched as Ichiraku Ayame sat outside the conference room. Her hands were neatly folded on her lap and she would glance up at him every so often. He tried his best to smile when he'd catch her—and she would smile too—but it was weird. Apparently, the Hokage had got it in his head that he would be marrying this woman.

Not thirty minutes before, Kakashi had stridden into the jonin lounge unannounced, glanced about the room, spotted Shikamaru, and as every shinobi struggled to stand and bow to their leader, he said, "Come on, Shikamaru. We're going to plan my wedding now." Shikamaru, along with the other persons in the room, gawked. Kakashi looked offended in that ridiculous manner he behaved in. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Ichiraku Ayame glanced at him again and once more they exchanged polite smiles.

Shikamaru scanned the last pages of the Konoha Administration guide. If you asked him, Kakashi had purposely walked into the jonin room, knowing there would be countless ears so he could publicly share this…unexpected news. Although it _was_ the first Shikamaru had heard of it, he would not put it pass the Hokage to withhold information and then suddenly thrust it on everyone like they should have known all along.

Classic team seven move.

Hokage or not, Hatake Kakashi was as much of a showoff as the rest of them. Shikamaru had never thought so until he started working for the man. Sure, the man's leadership skills were second to none and his strategic abilities had always impressed Shikamaru, but whatever water team seven drank from was still as questionable as the day they were all thrown together. The Sandaime must have looked at the team options and decided the faulty leftovers should all end up together to save everyone the pain. He must have not realized that together _they were all worse._

Shikamaru sighed and looked at the bride to be. She was fidgeting with her braids, rightfully anxious to meet the tiresome trifecta. He didn't blame her. The elders and Tsunade were not a force to be reckoned with. But, he supposed, a wedding was a good thing. She really had nothing to worry about.

He just hoped she knew that the rest of team seven was part of the package deal—them and _all_ their idiosyncrasies.

* * *

She was definitely pregnant.

Tsunade knew it the minute the civilian girl shyly walked into the conference room, Nara Shikamaru dragging his feet behind her (it was the girl from the wedding!). Tsunade passed a knowing look at Kakashi but he ignored her. She wouldn't say anything, of course. She'd let the dominos all fall where they would. Plus it was really none of her business.

Still, she had not expected _this_ when Kakashi called for a last minute conference. Before she and the dynamic duo from the prehistoric era had fully sat down, the Rokudaime had cheerfully announced, "So I'm getting married. She's not a shinobi. Nice girl, though."

They all had stared at him, surprised. "Oh," Homura had found his voice. "Congratulations, Kakashi-kun."

Tsunade had opted for a smirk. "You dog."

Koharu had nodded. "Yes, this is good news. We were all wondering if you'd follow in Tsunade-hime's footsteps and never marry."

"Oh, you shouldn't have." Kakashi had a very unique manner of handling the dynamic duo: sarcasm. Tsunade wished she had figured it out back when she was in office. She had settled for anger—not her proudest of moments.

"However," Koharu had started. Oh here it freaking comes, Tsunade thought then. "Steps must be taken to ensure she is a safe candidate to be our new Daishukujo." Well, the hag wasn't _wrong_.

Kakashi readily nodded then. "Perfect. She's outside. You can meet her yourselves. Also, if you look in front of you, you'll find copies of her citizenship records."

Now Tsunade sat with the two old bags examining the poor girl who would have to marry Kakashi. She was a pretty little thing. The records showed she was Kakashi's junior by ten years and those braids made her look younger. She could see why Kakashi would throw away basic kage etiquette for some fun. Freaking idiot.

"Ichiraku Ayame, huh?" Homura considered her through the rim of his glasses. "I think you were here the other day, correct? Your father is a good man. I do not often go but it is always a pleasure to visit Ichiraku's. The most quality ramen I've ever had has been there, really. Your father is truly an artisan."

"Thank you very much. He'd be…flattered if you told him next time you visit," she said and Tsunade was glad to hear the girl had a clear voice, despite her paleness and the fact she looked to have been crying for hours. She vaguely remembered the girl dancing around at the wedding with Naruto and Rock Lee. The three had looked absurd but had made for quite the entertainment.

"You look a little peaky, dear," Koharu said. "Are you alright? I'm sure this must be a little overwhelming."

Ayame glanced at Kakashi then. The idiot was smiling that ridiculous nonchalant smile he used for every situation he thought he could get away with. It was a fantastic tactic Tsunade also wished she had picked up in office. "She's been a little under the weather lately," Kakashi answered for her.

Oh yeah. She was definitely pregnant. Tsunade tried not to roll her eyes. Kakashi used to be such a stern child, fanatical with all the rules. She had no idea when or how he had suddenly started taking after Jiraiya. If there were little Jiraiyas out there running around, groping unsuspecting women, Tsunade would not in any way feel shocked. An any way.

"Do feel better, my dear." Koharu genuinely smiled.

Ayame bowed. "Oh, thank you, ma'am."

"She's very polite, Kakashi-kun. If I wasn't halfway in the grave I'd marry her myself!" Homura laughed at his own joke and Tsunade recoiled. Beside her Koharu groaned, used to the man's ridiculousness. Kakashi just kept smiling that sarcastic smile and in the background, Shikamaru cringed.

It was Kakashi's girl that released a little giggle. It was adorable, really. Everyone, including Kakashi, looked to her. Ayame seemed as stunned by the silly outburst and covered her mouth, eyes wide. And then she did it again, probably more out of nerves than anything else. She sounded like a guinea pig. It completely won Homura over.

The old man laughed from his belly. "You'll be a lovely Daishukujo. Congratulations!" Even Tsunade found herself smiling.

Koharu nodded, the beads in her hair ornament clinking together. "You will be good for our Hokage. The boy really needs to loosen up." Tsunade laughed at that and Kakashi's shoulders drooped. "But being at the Hokage's side as a woman is no easy thing, shinobi or not. Life will change for you, young lady. Are you ready for that?"

Tsunade examined Ichiraku Ayame very carefully then. The girl looked down at her boots and then fidgeted with the ends of her braids. Her eyes watered a little too. When Tsunade thought she would cave, the girl looked up with a fire reminiscent of spiky headed children screaming they wanted to be Hokage.

"I don't know if I'm ready, but I will try." It was because of the pregnancy, Tsunade knew. The girl had no choice but to force herself to be prepared—if not for the position of being a kage's wife, then as the mother of his children.

The girl was braving it all out, willing to become Konoha's next Daishukujo all for the sake of a child. Well. Tsunade could not fault her for that.

* * *

Teuchi sat in the living room, facing his daughter and the Rokudaime of Konohagakure.

He had been working out back, helping the neighbor build a table for his old lady when Ayame walked into the yard. She still looked sick but the vitamin water must've been working because she was up and about. She sweetly asked him to come inside in that way his daughters liked to talk to him. There was something she needed to speak with him about and of course he followed her inside. And then he noticed, with a rising sense of alarm, that the Hokage was standing right in the middle of his living room.

Now they sat there, drinking tea and making small talk about family owned businesses and Konoha's economy. He knew his daughter wasn't the cleverest of girls, and when she was younger she was a little slow, but he never thought she would do something that would garnish the rebuttal of the Hokage. Kakashi had yet to reveal his reasons for being there and Teuchi was hesitant to ask.

He hoped it was not about Raiden or those other two.

Ayame sat quietly in the corner of the couch, hands on her lap and offering tea every other minute. Seriously, what was the matter with her? How much trouble could she have gotten into anyway, being as sick as she was?

"More tea?" she asked again and went to grab the stone kettle.

Teuchi watched as his daughter's hands trembled while pouring their drink. "Uhh, Hokage-sama. I don't mean to be so forward, but I'd be lying if I said your presence here today was not surprising. With my daughter no less." Kakashi nodded. Teuchi still had no idea how he drank tea through that mask without staining it. Shinobi and their gadgets.

"I had hoped you'd bring it up," Kakashi said. "I'm a little nervous to be truthful."

That grabbed Ayame's immediate attention and the girl overfilled her teacup. "Oh no!" she cried and then knocked the entire cup over in her rush to stop the spill. Teuchi was torn between cleaning the mess and being just as surprised at Kakashi's statement. He'd known the man for decades. Nervousness was not a quality he'd give the kage.

Ayame ran to the kitchen and returned with a few dishtowels. "Sorry, otousan."

"Let me help," said the Hokage and kneeled beside her on the floor.

Teuchi watched with mounting fascination at the humbling scene. Ayame tried to pull the towels out of Kakashi's hand, whispering that he needn't worry but the man did not listen. She resigned easily enough—as she should—and settled for silently watching. When he finished, he looked around the room, not really knowing what to do with the towels. Ayame grabbed them then, giving a small thanks to the Hokage and one of her polite smiles. She really did not look very well, despite her handsome clothes.

Ayame left to dispose of the towels and Kakashi sat back down and smiled at Teuchi.

"You're nervous?" Teuchi said, admittedly curious. "Is my Ayame in that much trouble?"

Kakashi blinked and then he chuckled, causing Teuchi to follow suit. "Oh no, Teuchi-san. Is that a common occurrence with your daughter?"

Teuchi shrugged. "She takes after her mother, that one. Wears her emotions on her sleeve. When she was younger she would pick fights with the older kids who'd badmouth Yumi, my oldest."

"I think I remember her."

"Well, I don't see much of Yumi these days since she had her third child. They keep her busy, those boys."

"I can imagine."

Teuchi laughed. "That's right! I'm sure Naruto and that Uchiha boy kept you on your toes."

"Don't forget Sakura."

"Oh that girl is scary."

"Incurably so, I'm afraid." They both laughed as Ayame walked in.

The men watched her sit and she shyly smiled at them. She really was acting odd. Before Teuchi could ask her what the blazes was wrong with her, Kakashi said, "Your father thought you were in trouble. That I've come to tattle."

Ayame startled and looked at Teuchi. "Otousan, I'm not five!"

Teuchi winked at her. "You'll always be my little girl." For some reason, his usual saying did not garnish a pretty little smile. She looked down at her boots.

"Teuchi-san," Kakashi started, "there's something I'd like to ask, concerning your little girl."

Curious at the way he'd put that sentence together, Teuchi simply nodded. To his astonishment, the Hokage reached a hand to place over Ayame's folded ones. You could barely see them under Kakashi's. His daughter released an inaudible breath at the contact and even Teuchi held his. She rapidly glanced between both men.

"Oh my," Teuchi said.

"I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

"Oh _my_ ," he said again, astounded. "Marry Ayame?"

"Yes."

"I had no idea you two were getting on so well." He spoke candidly, taken aback by the unexpected news.

"We have for a while," Kakashi said softly. He and Ayame exchanged glances.

Teuchi was awed. Sure, Ayame had made eyes at the Hokage for some time now, always asking after him when Naruto would visit the restaurant. But Teuchi had had no idea Kakashi was interested too. There had been the wedding, where the two sat together and talked the evening away but Teuchi had simply thought the man was being polite. Ayame could be persistently social at times, especially if she fancied a fellow.

Never in all his days did he ever think Kakashi might feel the same. He suddenly felt very in the dark but this was the Hokage asking for his daughter so he could not deny him the right. Could he? He always believed his precious little girl deserved the best and this was certainly _the very best_ , but it was so sudden and frankly unbelievable.

"I can hardly believe it." The truth was said to set one free and Teuchi decided honesty was the best policy. "You'd like to marry my girl?"

"Very much, sir."

"Oh my," Teuchi found himself saying again. What a development!

"It's a lot to take in. I'm sorry, Teuchi-san."

Teuchi measured his daughter. She was dressed very smartly today, wearing Yukino's earrings and her hair was done up like one of her old dolls. She was staring at him with big wet eyes and Teuchi knew at that moment that his approval meant everything to her.

"Ayame, sweetheart. Is this what you want?"

Tears fell from her eyes and Teuchi's own watered. "Oh otousan, yes!"

Teuchi stood and the two quickly copied him. "Well… I see no reason to disapprove. I know my daughter will be in good hands if she is with someone as dignified as a kage." He extended a hand and Kakashi took it. "You have my blessing, Hokage-sama."

"Please, call me Kakashi. I hope that's not too informal for you."

"Alright, Kakashi. That should be fine. I've called you that in the past and since we'll be family now, I suppose no one will think too much of it." Teuchi opened his arms and addressed his baby girl. "Come here, you."

Ayame ran to her father's arms and wept. "Thank you, otousan. I love you so much. I'm _so_ sorry this was all last minute."

Teuchi happily held his youngest. "It's alright, Ayame. No need to cry so much. Marriage is a good thing. Your mother would be proud."

She only cried more and he patted her hair. A little amused at her behavior, Teuchi hoped to exchange mutual glances with Kakashi, but the younger man was busy gazing at the crying girl in his arms. He looked troubled if not concerned. Teuchi dismissed it as nerves. He too had been nervous when he had asked for Yukino's hand.

He hoped the Hokage would do his best to become accustomed to Ayame's blatant ability to show emotion. He would be marrying the girl, after all. She had a good heart and was as empathetic as they came. The girl had more emotions in her left pinky toe than most people experienced in their lifetimes. Hatake Kakashi would not find a more compassionate girl if he searched the entire shinobi world.

* * *

Ayame sat outside her apartment building, in a little park behind the property. There was a decent sized backspace to the small residential building. The playground was fenced up and it was late enough that the apartment kids wouldn't be out. She swayed softly on the swing.

The landlord was a gentle widower who enjoyed gardening and maintained the greenery that surrounded the building. He was leaning in the dirt now, singing an old folksong, picking weeds. All the residents, including Ayame, were convinced he was partially blind. She smiled, remembering when he had placed a welcome mat upside down in the front lobby. She had fixed it when he'd turned his back.

" _Are you pregnant?"_

Ayame closed her eyes. She didn't feel nauseas anymore. There was a pattern, she realized. The unpleasant sensations were strongest in the mornings but faded later in the afternoons. If they had not, she probably would have stayed home today, sleeping her life away as a potato. She would not have confronted Kakashi, would not have met with the _freaking council of Konoha_ , and certainly she would have never spoken with otousan.

Her father had been surprised but accommodating. He had been...happy.

"Hello there, fella."

Ayame looked up to see Hatake Kakashi greet the landlord with a respectful bow. The landlord obviously did not recognize the Hokage—nor did Kakashi correct him— and only saw the profile of a younger man. He chortled happily, waving Kakashi off as a pleasant lad with great manners and then went back to his gardening, humming away.

Her heart squeezed when Kakashi's gaze met hers and he held it until she had to be the one to look away. Why did she suddenly feel incredibly guilty? As if she had planned this whole thing to trap him in some sort of cry for feminine attention? She hoped he didn't think her so frivolous. Kakashi had been her second crush ever and the only man she had ever kissed. Other stuff too, but no need for those thoughts right now.

She wasn't sure how she felt about him now, but she was grateful he'd taken charge. He had not disappointed her there.

Kakashi made his way towards her, unhurried. He sat on the swing next to hers and sighed. He didn't swing—just sat looking off to where the landlord sang. He had walked her home earlier after dinner at her father's, saying there were other things he had to take care of. He asked if she would be willing to meet with him once more tonight. Of course she had agreed. She could not give him the runaround anymore.

"The ceremony will take place in two months. I tried for sooner but these things take time, apparently."

Ayame had to look away. There was a hard lump in her throat and her eyes burned. Hadn't she cried enough the past for days? She was surprised they hadn't shriveled up in her head already. The last time she had cried like this was when Yuu had run off with the cobbler's daughter. Boys sucked.

Beside her Kakashi sighed. He did that a lot. "This may not be how you wanted life to be, but I will do my best."

She dared to look up at him, whispering, "Are you...you're really going to marry me?"

"Yes." There was no negotiation in his voice. She would marry him and that was that.

Ayame thought of all the things she could say or do to decline: They did not love one another. She was a simple girl, from a simple family with no shinobi ties. With the awkwardness between them, marrying each other would be difficult. And there was always adoption. There was also the possibility that people would find out the marriage had only taken place because of premarital pregnancy.

But she could not fight him. He was still the Hokage and he had made a decision. A decision she had told herself could very well happen the moment she revealed she was pregnant.

Although they did not love one another, she knew they had gotten along before to tolerate one another now. Despite her civilian status, the council had not seemed against it. They had been more worried for her as a woman at Kakashi's side, whatever that meant. And although there was adoption, she did not think she could ever do that. Looking at Kakashi now, she thought maybe he felt the same way.

She would do it. She'd marry him, the Hokage; military leader of the village. No, Kakashi did not love her nor was she completely in love with him. And she was just a civilian. Marriage was not the happiest solution, perhaps not even the most profitable, but it was not about them—not even about the little extra flare of chakra within her. So she would not, could not, fight him on this.

"I understand," she said.

She watched as Kakashi pulled his mask down. Maybe it was his way of calling a truce or something. "Thank you, Ayame-chan. For telling me."

"I knew...it was the right thing to do."

"I hope we can get along from now on." He smiled softly. It was that civil smile he used on everyone. It wasn't fake, she knew that, but it was not his kindest. Throughout the day he had worn it. He had acted out of obligation as much as she had today. It was understandable. But she would not forget how patient he had been as she cried all over his office and how pleasant he'd been with her father. He had been kind. He had been gentle.

He had told no one the entire truth and she would not soon forget that.

She held on to the memory in her heart and it helped bring a polite smile of her own. "I hope so too."

* * *

 _Big Boy came_

 _Carrying a mermaid_

 _On his shoulders_

 _And the mermaid_

 _Had her tail_

 _Curved_

 _Beneath his arm._

 _Being a fisher boy,_

 _He'd found a fish_

 _To carry—_

 _Half fish,_

 _Half girl_

 _To marry._

 _-Langston Hughes, 'Catch'_


	6. Konoha

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all—God bless!**

* * *

Konoha and the Hokage's Engagement to the Ramen Girl Part I

* * *

Day one of being engaged to the Hokage of Konohagakure was pretty anticlimactic.

The night before, Kakashi recommended for Ayame to stay within the confines of her apartment. Nursing the relentless nausea and dizziness took precedence, he said. He also suggested they wait a few more days to formerly announce everything, until she was at least feeling better to handle the attention. There would be incredible attention, he warned. He wanted the already spreading rumors to thaw everyone's minds before the actual news/date was thrusted upon them. Konoha was nothing if not a little dramatic—his words verbatim.

It was nice to know the kage of the village thought very highly of the people.

So day one of the unannounced engagement, Naruto brought soup prepared by his wife, not really meeting her eyes. She knew he just felt bad and didn't know how to help. She wanted to tell him the truth but couldn't—didn't really know how to either. After Naruto said a quick farewell, otousan came wanting to check up on her. Apparently he had also been asked to keep the engagement to himself, but it did not stop his curiosity. He wanted to know how her relationship with Kakashi started. She gave him the runaround as best as she could.

She held on to an empty vitamin water bottle under the kitchen's two-seater. "Um...we were just friends at first."

Otousan was pensive in thought, holding his chin. "I see. Okay."

"And then...I started to like him last year."

Her father nodded. "Yeah. Everyone knows that."

She deflated. "Was it that obvious?"

Her father laughed at her response and shook his head. "Ayame," he said with a look, as if she knew better then to actually ask that out loud.

She laughed a little, despite herself. "Okay. I was a _little_ obvious." And she had been.

Kakashi would sometimes come to meet Naruto at Ichiraku's and she would do her best to act smooth and amiable. Sometimes when she'd hand over his orders, their fingers would graze. He had never commented on the minuscule passes and so she would continue them. Once she had come around to the customer side and hovered very close to Kakashi, showing Naruto a 'new menu item.'

She had always looked forward to those moments. Now she wasn't sure what to look forward to. Or if after everything, was she allowed to? Was she allowed to look forward to anything? Marriage and children were good things. But marriage and children like this was confusing and painful to take in. There was so much missing...

When her father left Ayame wondered if it was okay, deceiving him as she was. She wanted to tell him the truth also but a bigger part of her did not wish to for fear and shame. He would question himself as a father, she knew that. And then he would question Kakashi and somehow that bothered her just as much if not more.

She realized they both had messed up—not just her. Kakashi's apology had not been unfounded but neither had hers. Kakashi had not accepted her pardon and she wondered if he ever would. He once said he wanted to take responsibility because he was a man but what did that even mean? Was she less responsible because she was of the opposite sex? She thought of bringing it up again but wasn't sure. If they were supposed to marry, any misgivings should probably be discussed.

Probably.

Marriage in general was until death but marriage to a kage was indisputably forever. Oh my goodness—would she be in history books?

Could she really _do_ this?

* * *

Day two of being engaged to the Hokage of Konohagakure went a bit more…interesting. Although still home, Ayame felt less nausea and was able to hold down Naruto's leftover soup.

She sat on the sofa, sewing away when there was a knock at the door. Setting the unfinished skirt aside, she made her way to the peephole. It was Kakashi and behind him was a masked ANBU. The Black Ops member's physique indicated she was a woman. She wore a high purple ponytail and her mask kind of looked like a cat, Ayame noted. Her boobs were bigger too.

Kakashi leaned forward and smiled that polite smile through the peephole. Ayame counted to three before opening the door. Kakashi amiably greeted her and then waved towards the ANBU as if in show-and-tell. "This is Uzuki Yugao. She will be assigned to you."

Ayame stood dumbfounded. She forgot about this part. "Assigned...to me?"

"Yes. For contact and emergencies."

"Emergencies?"

The ANBU woman suddenly kowtowed and Ayame nearly jumped out of her skin. "Ayame-sama, it is an honor to serve the Daishukujo. Aside from your soon-to-be husband, I will be your fiercest protector."

Ayame immediately looked to Kakashi, amazed beyond words. He simply shrugged. He took everything in stride and she envied him that. He had warned her last night that she would have to be assigned a guard. She had begun to argue then and he silently listened until she finished. Then he put his authoritative two cents in and said her safety and the child's was nonnegotiable. She could not argue anymore. The Hokage's word was law in Konoha, father of her unborn child or not.

Looking at the bowing ANBU, Ayame wondered just how much her life was really going to change. She had never been referred to with such an honorable honorific and wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"Hello," she said and she sounded shyer than she really was. The nausea returned and her eyes watered. When would it stop? She was so tired of feeling sick and helpless and without control.

Kakashi stepped towards her. "Ayame-chan?"

She weakly smiled. "I'm okay. Still feeling the same is all."

"Hmm. I'll try to see what I can do about that. Do you have any friends or family who could help guide you?"

Her older sister Yumi came to mind but she hesitated. She looked to the bowing ANBU member. Did the woman know? Had Kakashi told her?

Kakashi followed her gaze. "Yugao, we look forward to working with you. I'll be counting on you to keep her safe."

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" Ayame was not sure why, but at that moment she wanted to cry.

"If you could give us some privacy," Kakashi said. He did that a lot—read her mind. Maybe the woman's dismissal meant he had not said anything to her. The thought made her feel a little better.

"Sir!" Yugao did that thing the Fuko fellow had done and transfigured into the floor. Ayame stared closely, still awed by the ability. She wanted to bend down and touch the cement of the hall. It looked as if it had melted just so the ANBU could pass through but now was solid again—

Her thoughts were interrupted by Kakashi's chuckle. He had a nice laugh. She had always thought so. It was smooth and not obnoxiously high-pitched like hers.

"Ayame-chan, is there?"

"Huh?"

He laughed again. "Someone who could guide you," he said and came a bit closer. "With the child." He added the last part with a gentleness she was not sure she had heard him use before. He talked of the "child" so easily. She could not.

She became a little dizzy and she did not know if it was because of the pregnancy. He wasn't very close but close enough that she could smell him—wood and papers and something entirely him. _Oh_ it reminded her of that night—

"Ayame?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Hm-mm."

He stepped inside the threshold, his front nearly grazing hers and then paused, probably remembering the last time he had been there. His hands hovered over her shoulders. "Let's sit you down somewhere."

"Not the sofa," she said softly. She thought she heard him inhale sharply through his nose.

"Okay." His tone lowered.

He led her to the two-seater table (not very far from _that_ _sofa_ ). The living room was humbly connected to the kitchen. It was a small one bedroom apartment but it was _hers darn it_. She was not ashamed of it, except maybe now that he could see _that sofa_ with a throw blanket covering the middle cushion.

Helping her sit without really touching her, Kakashi informed her Yugao would be near the premises at all times, and then left faster than she could think of offering him tea.

She realized she had been wearing her robe the entire time.

* * *

Day three and four of being engaged to the Hokage of Konohagakure went nearly the same as the first day: Naruto stopped by with more soup and then Raiden and some coworkers visited with snacks, board games, saltine crackers, and funny stories that nearly had her choke on said saltine crackers. During a game, a coworker randomly inputted of a rumor going around that the Hokage was engaged. She choked on another cracker.

On the fifth evening, Naruto came wondering how she was feeling. His wife, Uzumaki Hinata, made leftover dinner again. She was overcooking a lot this week, apparently. He stood at the door, sheepish, holding out containers of food. She took it gratefully, love for the young man swelling in her chest. Before she could invite him in, deliberating if she should explain things to him now, he started to blink rapidly, owlishly looking around the hallway outside the apartment.

"Why is there a…"

"Naruto?"

"Uh—sorry nechan. I gotta check something out. I'll come by another day. Maybe we could have dinner with Hinata-chan?"

"I'd love that—oh bye-bye, Naruto!" She held the containers to her chest, poking her head out the doorway.

"Bye!" he shouted quickly over his shoulder, running down the hall. She curiously watched his retreating form, wondering what the hurry was.

* * *

On the sixth day of being engaged to the Hokage of Konohagakure, Hatake Kakashi stood outside her door once more, standard eye crinkle in place. She wondered if it would be a thing now; him standing at her door with that smile.

Ayame stared at the Hokage. He stood on the welcome mat, hands casually stuffed in his pockets. He wore his customary flak jacket with a red band that presented him as the sixth kage. The scene was familiar, except this time he did not ask if he could kiss her nor was she naked under a flimsy robe. She wore a perfectly modest, long-sleeved dress thank you very much. Her hair looked crazy though.

"Hello!" He waved.

"Hello..." She glanced to the right and left of the hallway, checking for stragglers. No ANBU today. Yugao was probably nearby—it was beyond Ayame where.

"Do you like walks, Ayame-chan?"

"Oh...yes. I do," she said and meant it, peeking up at him.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "I was thinking we could go on one if you're feeling up to it. I know you haven't been feeling well. Which reminds me—" He reached into his flat jacket and held out a small violet pouch. "Ginger tea."

Ayame blinked, grabbing the small bag. "Oh—um. Thank you," she said. Ayame enjoyed walks, especially if she had a lot to think about. Usually she took them by herself and not with the progenitor of her thoughts. "I..."

Kakashi lifted his hands in defense. "It would be good to be seen together."

"To be seen together?" She unconsciously lifted the pretty pouch to her nose. The scent was immediately calming.

He nodded. "I think it'll be good for the village." He lifted a shoulder in a small shrug. "It'll bring credibility to some of the rumors. The right ones, hopefully."

"So you want to go on a walk?" It made sense.

"Yes."

Ayame couldn't look him in the eyes. Even in the face of a forced marriage he was still thinking about the village. It was kind. If she was...really going to marry the Hokage, then she should act the role. Ayame already loved Konoha, and she had revealed the truth to Kakashi because of her consideration towards others, so this was not a lot to ask. She wanted to be kind like him.

It was still difficult.

"I don't mind, Hokage-sama," she said. "I do feel a little better today...a short walk will be good for me, I think." She would have to dress warmer. Konoha was nearly three weeks into January and it was _chilly_.

Kakashi smiled and it was one of the softer ones. The laugh lines near his eyes creased but his eyes did not close. "I'm glad you feel better. I know it's not easy."

She nodded silently. He truly was kind.

"Should I give you some time to get ready?"

Ayame was about to say yes right away (she had to get a sweater and some warm shoes) but then thought if she did then would he come in again? She frowned and Kakashi raised a brow.

"Err-umm. I just have to get something." She pointed behind her with a thumb.

"I'll wait here."

She hesitated. "Are...are you sure?"

"I don't mind."

Ayame took that as permission enough and hurried to her room's closet. She tossed the tea pouch on the bed and dug through her drawers, quickly grabbing some leggings and socks. She slid the leggings on under the cotton dress and slipped the socks on while standing, nearly falling. She ran to the bathroom, grabbed the pearl earrings, and brushed her hair up into a messy bun. There was so much of it she had to use three rubber bands.

She fetched her sweater from the living area on the way out. When she opened the door again she was half putting a scarf on, half digging a foot into a boot.

"Ready?" She was breathless, bun askew.

"Are you alright?" he said, maybe surprised at how quick she had been or how much noise she had made.

"Yes!" She locked the door from inside and closed it, key in pocket. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she asked, "Where did you want to walk?"

He watched her fix her bun. "Not too far. We could...are you sure you're alright?"

Ayame nodded. Sure she was breathing a little faster than usual but she was sure it had more to do with his presence than with the morning sickness. Day two had made her a little afraid of her hormones. He had smelled so nice. She decided to not get too close today.

Despite Kakashi's nonchalant attitude, he carried a strong presence. He was the Hokage and the one who sort-of put a baby inside of her. He had also been a very considerate lover. The images of that night would never leave her.

They stood in the hall, quiet. She supposed she should say something since he asked a question. He was always asking if she was okay. "I'm just a little nervous."

"Me too," he said and she looked to him then. He was staring off towards the stairwell and she marveled.

 _Was_ he really nervous? He had said the same thing the other day at her father's but he did not seem nervous at all. There were usually physical signs that accompanied nervousness, like accelerated breathing, blushing, stuttering, hand trembling, etc. She experienced all of them pretty regularly but Kakashi showed none of that. He only said he was nervous and one just had to take his word for it.

He was a pretty frank fellow anyway. She supposed he had no reason to make things up.

She had first assumed he said it initially to her father for authentic purposes but staring at him now she thought maybe he had been truthful. Maybe he was just as nervous as she about this whole thing. He was just better at hiding it.

That's what shinobi did, she guessed. They controlled their emotions and did what they had to do in the face of any and all circumstances. Why should this circumstance be any different? He did what he had to do. That's why she had gone to him in the first place.

They made their way down the hall towards the exit stairwell, but then one of her neighbors stepped out with a broom. The middle aged woman noticed them immediately. Well, she noticed Kakashi immediately.

"Hokage-sama!" The broom in her hand fell. She looked amazed to see Kakashi there in the hall, with Ayame no less.

"Good afternoon, madam." Speechless, the middle aged woman bowed multiple times and Kakashi simply smiled. "You have a good day now," he said as he handed the fallen broom to her.

Ayame was already beat red. She was not sure how she would do this.

They walked down the steps of the second floor and garnished more surprised stares from fellow residents who happened to be outside. An elderly man fully kowtowed and Ayame was impressed with how Kakashi took all the greetings in stride. He would nod or verbally respond in kind. He really was a kind man.

Kakashi's friendliness aside, Ayame wanted to blush at the incredible attention. She understood now why he had told her to meet him at her father's house the other day. When she had arrived at otousan's house, Kakashi had been waiting at the door. He had spared her from this then but he would not today.

But she was not sure how they would all assume she was the one engaged to him. Kakashi had walked around the village with others before, women and men, shinobi and civilian, young and old. Her walking behind him was not a thing out of the ordinary.

And she did walk behind him. Well, she _tried_ to walk behind him and to the right, as it was proper etiquette. But he would slow and she would catch herself walking beside him. She would slow down but the whole thing would start again. It was a force of habit really, letting the Hokage take his rightful place ahead of her.

If she didn't know better, she'd say this was all very amusing to him. They looked silly, really. When he slowed once again, he said, "Ayame-chan, it's alright to walk with me."

"I ...feel strange." It was stupid, since they'd done much more than walk beside one another. But these sorts of manners were drilled into every citizen's head since grade school. Never mind shinobi, who were always the most formal with the Hokage, especially the veterans. "You want people to know…um…that we're engaged but we're just walking together. You do that with others all the time. And side by side is hard for me. It just looks kind of rude if I'm not behind you. I guess. Um. Yeah." It was hard talking to him.

He considered her. "I can understand that. What do you suggest?"

If they wanted to convince everyone they were an engaged couple, then maybe they could...Ayame looked at her right palm. They could hold hands. She blushed and looked at Kakashi. She would have to stand on his left too.

He must have read her mind because he cleared his throat. "Is that alright?"

Ayame wasn't sure what was right or wrong in this case, but without answering, she offered a hand, heart in her throat. It was trembling and sweaty and she felt really dumb. She focused on breathing as he oh so gently wrapped his hand around her right one. Like the time at her father's, you could barely see her hand under his. His hands were not sweaty.

Stupid, hardened ninja nerves of steel.

"Is this okay?" he asked again and she thought maybe his voice lowered like it had on day two. _That_ would be a problem. He should not do it.

"I...I think so." Was it okay? How was she supposed to know? They were doing all of this so backwards she could barely keep up—sex, baby, engagement, meeting parents, hand-holding.

Kakashi had put himself out there for her, asking the council and her father's permission to wed. She could do this for him even if she was internally having an anxiety attack. She had only held Yuu's hand in the past but it was magnanimously different with Kakashi. She was not sure if it was because he was the kage or because he would be the father of her child. Or both. Despite their current estrangement, she had been incredibly into him before and attraction like that didn't go away.

They turned the few heads that were around the apartment building's property but as they neared one of the tree paths close by, the commentary begun:

"Whoa look at that!"

"Is that...the ramen girl?"

"Ah! He's found someone!"

"I actually heard Hokage-sama's engaged. I guess that's her."

"Yo she cute."

Ayame tried not to wish too much for the ground to swallow her up. She felt deceitful and wrong but Kakashi was so...normal. Oh she really envied his ability to keep it together.

"Some will guess." Kakashi was making eye contact with curious bystanders, waving with his free hand at certain intervals, but he was talking to her. She had no idea how he did it. She could barely walk, hold his hand and look at him while he talked all at the same time.

"They'll guess?"

He nodded. "And Naruto is not the only sensory ninja in the village. For instance Yugao is, too. But I am not worried about my shinobi. They know better than to question a kage and his private decisions."

"The civilians," she whispered. Though they too were expected to serve and honor the Hokage, they were not pledged to him in the same way shinobi were.

"Yes, but guesses are guesses. And later it will be fine."

"Because—um. We'll be married."

"Exactly."

They never entered the heart of Konoha nor any path close to the taller buildings in the village. Perhaps it was in consideration of her, but he only walked them close to her area. They turned more heads going through the neighborhood market. Stationed ninjas gawked and bystanders nearly dropped items that they carried.

The Hokage acted as if he had walked holding hands with her before. Some people whistled, some nodded approvingly, and some cooed adoringly because "Our dear Hokage has finally found himself a nice young woman!" Kakashi charismatically waved at times, specifically at the people that wordlessly stared. His sense of humor stood strong against the situation and she begrudged him further. He even winked at one of his ninja that suggestively howled.

Ayame continued to look down, face red as a pepper. He was…really good at this. Although she didn't really do anything, walking around with her head down, she hoped the message got across well enough with the hand holding.

She wondered then why it was women who bore the weight of carrying a child. A father could be nameless but a mother never could be. They literally bore the weight and handled the emotions of it all _before_ the baby was actually in their arms. They were to nurture children with the very sensitive parts of their bodies and Ayame knew there would be a love there that she had never experienced before. She easily got attached to pretty things like clothes and shoes and gourmet meals—why would a baby be any different?

Kakashi and she made their way back and silently released the hand holding as her apartment building appeared around the corner. Standing outside her door, he asked, "Have you been able to communicate with a confidant?"

Ayame shrugged a little shrug. It was not her first choice but it was the only choice. "Maybe today I can visit my sister. I have three nephews." They were the funniest boys in the world and Ayame loved them very much.

"That's good then. There are books but you shouldn't experience this alone."

"I think so too." She nodded, a sense of forlornness taking over. The adrenaline from the walk began to fade and hollowness replaced the rush of incredible attention. She touched her flat belly. There were so many questions she had and no one to ask them to.

He pulled his eyes up from her hips before he spoke. "I have to go but if there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to come to the Tower or ask Yugao."

"Okay sure." She tried for a light smile.

"Ayame-chan," he hesitated. "There is something…"

She looked side to side, not sure what he'd say now. He reached into his flak jacket and pulled out a folded booklet. He looked down at it for a second, and then offered it to her. She took it, curious. It wasn't tea obviously. She wondered how many things flak jackets could actually carry.

"What...is this?"

He harrumphed into a fist and then indicated towards the booklet with a wave. "This is an available plot near the Tower and multiple complimentary blueprints. Pick any one you'd like."

Ayame suddenly realized she would not be living in her apartment anymore. In two months, she would be expected to live somewhere else. With Kakashi. In a house. By themselves.

"I...I have stuff." Her power of speech amazed her sometimes.

When she had moved out of her old man's not too long ago, she'd bought brand new furniture and curtains and decorative pieces and pillows and _that sofa_ too. It had been a milestone she had celebrated with her family and coworkers. Another step into adulthood—to segue into growing up and showing everybody that she was _not_ a baby.

"You can bring your things, of course." He had a habit of reading her mind-most everybody did. She wasn't exactly the mysterious type. She was not Kakashi. She never knew what he was thinking.

"Is that okay?" It was their favorite question to one another.

"I don't see why not." He smiled. "There's no specific etiquette on how the interior of a kage's house should be."

She smiled with him. "That would be silly."

"I think so too. Once you find a blueprint just let me know."

"I will…but a house in under two months?"

He shrugged. "I know some people. And don't worry about costs."

"Oh…okay." He _was_ the Hokage. If anyone knew anybody, it would be him. Ayame once heard a rumor that whoever was the active Hokage shared a vault with the Fire Daimyo. Rumors, but still. Life was really turning on its head. It was all thanks to the little extra flare of chakra.

"Well..." she started, wondering what time it was. If she wanted to visit Yumi it would be best before sunset. Her sister was particular like that.

"Right. I'll get going first. Have a good day, Ayame-chan."

"Thank you. You, too."

* * *

The relationship and relatability of siblinghood was a funny thing. You could live your entire life with a brother or sister, grow up in the same house with the same parents, the same school, extracurricular activities, friends, food, but somehow you could still turn out to be the most different beings in the universe.

Ayame and Yumi weren't the most opposite of sisters, but they were _different_. That was what all the uncles had told Ayame growing up. That was what otousan would gently explain to Ayame every time Yumi made her cry or treated her crossly.

That being said, it was understandable that Ayame was very nervous as she waited for someone to answer the door of a two story, well-constructed house. A rickshaw and its puller waited twenty feet away, on the street outside the extraordinarily green yard. Yumi lived on the opposite side of Konoha and everyone had big, green yards here. A rickshaw was the best mobile option if you weren't able to travel roof-to-roof.

Yumi opened the door and she was virtually a carbon copy of Ayame—simply older with shoulder length hair and curves that had brought three strong boys into the world. Ayame expected Yumi to get excited but she did not. She just smiled and raised one hand in greeting. It had been awhile.

"Hey, Ayame."

Ayame smiled. She could hear the boys in the background playing. "Nechan! It's been so long. How are you? You look great."

"Yeah fat and ugly thanks."

Ayame was not deterred. "Oh whatever. You're beautiful."

"Hm-mm. So what do you want?" Yumi closed the door behind her and came down the wooden steps that fell from the threshold. She hugged herself tighter within her coat, reminding Ayame of how cold it was. She wondered if it would snow tonight. They both shivered.

"Oh that's…" Ayame hoped to at least say hello to the boys before dropping the baby bomb. Would she not be invited inside?

"Otousan said you're getting married."

Ayame gasped, looking at Yumi with eyes as big as hers. "He did?"

Yumi shrugged, bending down to pick up some forgotten toy on the stone walkway. She dusted it off. "Yeah. He said to wait until you told me. But whatever. Congratulations though. Finally, right?" She actually gave a little smile before it disappeared. She bent at the waist to pick up another toy, frowning.

"Oh…thank you…"

Yumi's face pinched in impatience. Ayame wasn't sure if it was because Yumi began to notice all the toys that were scattered about the yard or if it was her. One never knew with Yumi.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well..." Maybe she should just go ahead and say it. It was difficult but Yumi was the only one who could help. She was a mother three times over. Sure they didn't get along but maybe if she asked properly. They were sisters after all. And Ayame did not want to do this alone. She had no female friends or family relatives that she was very close to. She only had Yumi.

"Ayame, seriously?"

"Oh um, it's just...sorry I—"

"Why are you taking forever to talk? You always freaking do this."

Ayame watched as Yumi's mouth demolished into a scowl. The expression alone told Ayame that it had been a mistake to come. At the end of their school years, Yumi had picked up a certain behavior against Ayame. She had never understood why or how, but things had drastically changed between them. One day Ayame was happily following her older sister around and the next, Yumi didn't want much to do with her. They had stopped getting on a long time ago. But it hurt every time and especially now when Ayame was at her most vulnerable.

An ache formed at the back of her throat and seared down into the center of her chest. She wanted things to be different. She wanted to be close with her sister but Yumi must have not had the same desire. The few times Ayame brought up the estrangement, Yumi brushed her off.

Ayame would not cry now. She wanted to leave but she wavered. Maybe if she explained why she had hesitated, Yumi would understand and maybe feel a little bad about her impatience.

"You don't think I have better things to do?" Yumi crossed her arms, toys in both hands. The setting sun made her narrowed eyes like honey.

"I just"—it was difficult to speak—"wanted to talk with you but you're being really rude and I don't know why."

Yumi rolled her eyes. "Okay, Ayame."

"Seriously, Yumi?" She threw her sister's sarcasm back at her but the moment she did she regretted it. It would not help.

"Yeah. Seriously, Ayame. You think because you're marrying the Hokage you can get away with all this cutsie stuff?"

"O-otousan told you?"

"Of course he did, Ayame. I talk to otousan all the time even though I don't see him. He's really excited. I mean it's great, but you gotta stop all this. How do you expect to be a leader? I can't stand it."

Ayame inhaled slowly and exhaled slower. "Okay. I'm gonna go."

"Go ahead. Walk away. You always do."

Ayame turned on her heel, ignoring Yumi's last words, and made her way towards the rickshaw. She would not cry. She would not cry—then she realized she hadn't been able to greet her nephews and Ayame burst into tears. She was so emotional lately it was embarrassing. The puller glanced at her, surprised but said nothing as she climbed in, hands cold and nose runny.

Every time Yumi would get in one her moods there was nothing on earth that could get her to relax or apologize. Of course Ayame always walked away. If she stayed, they would not be able to work it out anyway. Yumi only got meaner and Ayame would just sit there and take it, as if it were an honorable thing to hear an angry person out. It was better to walk away. It was always better to leave.

We're just different, Ayame repeated her uncles' mantra in her mind as she cried all the way home.

* * *

Kakashi looked up from a half decoded scroll as Yugao walked into the office. She bowed and he raised a brow. Her shift was not over yet she was here. Ayame's night watch was not until later in the evening.

"Yugao, what's going on?"

"My apologies, Hokage-sama, but Uzumaki Naruto is with her."

"Naruto is?" Kakashi closed the scroll. "Explain."

Yugao nodded dutifully. "Ayame-sama went to see Seito Yumi and not long after visiting she returned home on a rickshaw. She was crying, milord. Uzumaki Naruto and Hinata were outside her apartment building with groceries. After helping her inside, Naruto-sama stepped out to find me. He asked that I report this to you."

Kakashi sighed. So his number one hyperactive, knuckleheaded student had put two and two together. "I imagine he had more to say?"

"…"

"Go ahead, Yugao."

"He said if you did not…come immediately he would make sure you did. Sir."

"I see."

"I tried to dissuade him but it _is_ Naruto-sama."

People loved Naruto for all he had done for the world, including the kage's personal ANBU. His student would make an excellent leader one day. He would have the most faithful men and women at his beck and call. He was already gathering favor from those like Yugao and Fuko. Even Shikamaru looked forward to Naruto's successorship. Half the reason he became the Hokage's assistant was to one day be useful to Naruto.

Kakashi never once minded their extended loyalty to Naruto, especially since he trusted the young man immensely, but perhaps today he felt a little weary of it all.

He stood, securing the scroll in a sealed drawer of the large desk. "I suppose I have some time now."

* * *

 _From childhood's hour I have not been_

 _As others were—I have not seen_

 _As others saw—I could not bring_

 _My passions from a common spring—_

 _From the same source I have not taken_

 _My sorrow—I could not awaken_

 _My heart to joy at the same tone—_

 _And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—_

 _-Edgar Allan Poe, 'Alone'_


	7. Konoha II

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Is anyone else enjoying these new Shippuden episodes? Manga fans have been going through withdrawals and these episodes are life right now.**

* * *

Konoha and the Hokage's Engagement to the Ramen Girl II

* * *

It was snowing. Ayame snuggled within her quilts and blankets. Her mesh curtains revealed a falling world of white just outside the window. Every snowflake mattered coming down from a great, big world. Every intricate pattern was beautiful against the canvas of a dark, gray sky.

And Ayame wondered her pretty little head if everything would be okay.

Naruto and Hinata shuffled about outside her bedroom door. With permission, they were making dinner. They were so sweet and Ayame was glad she had friends like this. When she had stumbled off of the rickshaw in sorrow and tears, Naruto and Hinata had been standing outside the apartment building. The Uzumaki couple came up, paid the puller in her stead and helped her inside.

It had also been a cold night the last time she felt this sad. Kakashi's warmth mollified her then but it had been a temporary thing. A man could not fix loneliness. A man was not God. She sat up on the bed and let her covered toes touch the fluffy carpet. She stood and slowly made her way to the window, leaning her forehead on the glass. It was freezing but it helped relax her. All the crying had warmed her face too much. The cold was welcoming.

What kind of mother will I be? she wondered. What kind of leader? She had jumped the gun too quickly, too thoughtlessly, thinking everything would work itself out if there was a man by her side. Kakashi was no ordinary man. He was the Hokage. Being with him held too many implications. She wondered again if she should simply leave the village. But how? There was nowhere to go.

When had she started to think a man could make everything better—first take her loneliness away—then take charge of the chaos motherhood would surely bring if she were single? She wasn't like this. How had she got here? _She wasn't like this._

Ayame leaned away from the window when she heard another voice among Naruto and Hinata's. It was Kakashi. They had let him in. Her heart raced. She imagined Naruto had something to do with it. Feeling as she did, it was not good that Kakashi had come.

She could hear Naruto trying to keep his voice at a murmur. It was hurried and became louder with each second. Hinata's naturally soft, whispery voice mediated when he became too audible. He lowered his tone but the cycle started again. Ayame imagined Hinata resting a calming hand on Naruto's arm each time he spoke loud enough for Ayame to hear. When Kakashi spoke, he did not try to speak in whispers and Ayame could hear him clearly.

"Naruto, despite your noble intentions you don't have the authority to dictate ANBU away from their duties. There are other ways—"

"Next time I'll come get you myself then."

"Naruto-kun," Hinata started and it was hard to understand all the words she was saying. Something about remembering this was "the Hokage."

There was a sudden shuffling of fabric and a loud _THUNK_ resonated across the apartment. Ayame's eyes watered once again as she jumped, alarmed. It was a small apartment so a strong knock on one wall vibrated all of them. She intertwined her hands and held them to her stomach. The bedroom door held her complete attention.

"Hokage or not, this is the second time I've seen Ayame cry all by herself. You understand, right?"

Ayame heard Kakashi's familiar, deep sigh. "I do."

There was some more talking and rummaging and then there was a light tap at her door.

"Ayame-san, dinner is ready." It was Hinata.

"Okay, I'll be right out," Ayame said with the clearest voice she could muster.

* * *

Kakashi watched as Ayame followed Hinata into the kitchen. She did not look at him. She wore what she had earlier, eyes as red and lips decolored as they were when she'd fumbled into his office, barely speaking of the pregnancy.

Naruto and he sat at the chabudai in the living space. The low table was white washed, accompanied with a flowery mantel and pastel seat cushions. His fingers grazed over the pattern of the mantel—eyes not missing the intricate edges of the cushion he sat on. Had she done this? Double point needles were stabbed into a ball of yarn in a basket next to a nostalgic sofa. A wooden hoop and unfinished embroidery stitches leaned against one of the sofa's pillow. The patterns were incredible. It seemed Ayame's talents did not end in the kitchen.

The women walked over with dinner. Kakashi's eyes were only for Ayame as she silently set the table up with Hinata. Naruto dragged him here and expected him to eat. He wanted to knock the young man upside the head but he admitted there was reason behind the rashness. Naruto was assuming there was some sort of romance between him and Ayame that had gone array. He'd also got it in his head that Kakashi was the cause of the estrangement. In Naruto's mind, Ayame was a blameless light in his life that was now pregnant and apparently jilted. By Kakashi. Little did the Uzumaki know that it was Ayame who was set on ignoring Kakashi, most of the time.

It was her who could not look at him.

Had Ayame's sister reacted poorly to the news? Kakashi wondered if Yumi knowing the truth would hinder whatever smooth sailing they managed this week. Regardless of the unfamiliar woman's response, Ayame had become incredibly upset.

When the four of them were all seated, Naruto said a quick prayer and opened his mouth to swallow a mouthful of rice when—

"Ayame-chan and I are getting married."

"GUH!" Naruto nearly swallowed his chopsticks and Kakashi tried not to look too smug.

Hinata lightly tapped her husband's back while she smiled, amazed. "Oh, congratulations! When did this happen?"

"On Monday," he said, smiling. For good measure, he lowered his mask and Naruto gasped very loudly.

"That's wonderful, Hokage-sama!" Hinata sincerely seemed happy as she gave both he and Ayame a bow. She did not bat an eyelash to his sudden exposure, detachment accredited to the byakugan.

Ayame stared wide eyed at him. A habit of hers around him, really. Kakashi did not blame her. His idiosyncratic tendency to tease and announce anything usually shocked others. It was a terrible coping mechanism but it got him through the day and usually cheered others up. Sometimes.

Naruto leaned into his wife, eyes glued on Kakashi's face, whispering loudly, "Hinata-chan, you were right! He _does_ have a mole."

Kakashi sipped his tea. "It's a beauty mark."

He noticed Ayame smile a little against her spoon and his chest lightened. They were not very close, so he could not cox her out of her troubles with words laced with comradery and loving touches, but he could do this. Her eyes then brightened and Kakashi watched as her expression transformed. "Hinata-san, this curry is awesome. The green onions are perfect."

Hinata blushed. "Thank you. I'm sure you're much better at making green curry."

Ayame carefully dispensed her entire rice scoop into the curry bowl. Her face was still pale and eyes swollen but she wore an easy smile on her lips. "Don't sell yourself short! I think this is _way_ better than any curry dish I've made. Naruto's a lucky fella." Then she promptly took a mouthful to show her appreciation. "Hmmm!"

Hinata's blush deepened and she covered her cheeks, completely won over by Ayame's encouragement. Naruto grinned and copied Ayame's way of eating curry, digging in. Kakashi and Hinata exchanged glances and he shrugged, smiling. They were alike, Ayame and Naruto. Kakashi assumed Hinata saw the similarities too.

The awkwardness of the night vanished in favor of Ayame and Naruto's brightening personalities that continued to build off of one another. Every now and then Ayame would bring up the exquisite quality of the food, as if the compliment hadn't been said multiple times before and Kakashi added on, making Naruto laugh and Hinata sputter and blush all over again.

When the Uzumaki couple departed, they left a pleasant atmosphere. Even as Kakashi dried dishes and Ayame silently put them away, the air was not strained. Work was piling up at the office, but it could wait. Ayame and he needed this, he supposed. Of course Naruto would be the center of it all. The brat. The way the young man cared had a way of changing the hearts of men and women.

"I…I wasn't able to tell my sister anything," she spoke all on her own as he handed her a dried bowl.

"Oh?" he said, not prying. He grabbed another bowl. The design was flowery too. It was her thing, apparently.

"I still…want help. But I don't know anyone that could. All my friends are mostly people who've never had babies." He knew it was hard for her to say those things but he respected her willingness to open up. He got an idea.

"A good friend of mine is a mother," Kakashi supplied lightly. "Sarutobi Kurenai. I've known her since I was very young."

"Sarutobi?" Ayame asked, taken aback by the name.

Kakashi nodded. "Kurenai was married to the Sandaime's son for a short time before he passed. She had the child afterwards. Mirai-chan looks just like her father." Asuma would have been incredibly conceited about the fact, too.

"Oh wow." Ayame frowned and then appeared to weigh things in her mind. Her top row of teeth slid against her bottom lip, head tilting slightly to the right. She closed a cabinet door. "I think maybe we should ask for your friend's help."

Ayame did not even ask if Kurenai was trustworthy but went along with it, which meant she valued his suggestions. It meant she trusted his decisions. It was not odd, he supposed. She had been honest with him about the pregnancy. The confession itself must have taken a great deal of faith in his character. He was silently pleased at the revelation.

"Only if it's what you want."

"It is." She seemed determined. Her easy resignation surprised him but he did not comment. If it was what she wanted, he would do his best to accommodate her. Mostly her world would be drastically changing. He could do at least this.

* * *

That next morning, he sat across Kurenai, sipping tea. They were outside on her balcony, surrounded by various plants and flower pots. Mirai was taking her afternoon nap back in the living room. The little girl had her mother's eyes, thank God for it too. Rest in peace, Asuma. Kakashi continued to smile at Kurenai. She sat, drinking tea with closed eyes.

"Idiot. Irresponsible. Pervert."

He sunk a little in his chair. "I know."

"Obviously you don't."

"I didn't think things would turn out this way."

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Kakashi, what did you expect? After following her home, you had unprotected sex with a girl ten years younger than you. She's closer to our students' age than she is to ours. Oh. And you were drunk."

"Just a little."

"What?"

"I had only drunk very little that night."

"You mean to tell me you were mostly sober when you followed her home?"

"..."

"Pervert."

Kakashi deflated. "You said that one already."

"Fiend."

"Okay. Go back to the other names."

Kurenai rubbed at her forehead and leaned back into the balcony's seat. "Well," she shrugged, "what's done is done." Kakashi nodded, downcast. He looked up when his old friend grabbed his fingers. "Don't look so guilty. This is a good thing too."

"I've ruined her life, Kurenai."

"Mirai certainly didn't ruin mine."

He shook his head. "You and Asuma were happily married. The two of you had been in love for a very long time before you got to making Mirai-chan."

"Yes, I got pregnant after I was married and by the man of my dreams. And I love her with everything I have. But Kakashi, maybe this is what it was supposed to take. Honestly, were you planning to get trapped into that ridiculous single lifestyle that more than half of shinobi fall into? Before everyone knows it, they've aged and the only thing they've left behind is a track record of completed missions and old battle scars."

"But I'm the Hokage," he said lamely and she laughed.

"Well, Hokage-sama, is a neatly running village all you've ever wanted?" His silence answered her question. "I didn't think so."

His face dropped into his hands, put out. How could Ayame be content forced into a marriage? If he had done things correctly from the beginning, then this backwards way of establishing a family would have never happened. She wouldn't be trapped in secret as she was in her condition.

But the truth was he would have never pursued a relationship with Ayame if things had not turned out the way they had. If there ever existed an opportunity in the past, he had let it slip. He had denied himself the pleasure of pursuing Ayame, or anyone else for that matter. After Pein had left him for dead, she was there, desperately trying to dig him out of rubble. When he resurrected she had been there too, as surprised as he to be alive. She had gotten his attention then but he had ignored the stirs in his belly. She was better without him, he had told himself. The fact did not change even now as he forced her into marriage.

"Kakashi, take this as a blessing in disguise."

"Ayame will not think the same."

Kurenai smiled. "Somehow I disagree. You can be very charming."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to sound so sarcastic."

"I'm sorry."

Kurenai laughed at his unapologetic tone. She stood. He mirrored her action. "Well, let's go meet your fiancé. Where is she now?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to meet her yourself. I have to get back to the Tower." Yesterday's unforeseen dinner put him behind.

"That's not awkward at all."

"She's very hospitable. It will go well. And Kurenai?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for doing this." He was eternally grateful.

"Of course. I'm glad you came. It used to never happen before."

She was right. For a couple of decades Kakashi had managed to isolate himself from everyone that cared about him. He had been a fierce advocate for teammate after the Third War, but when it came to private matters, it was beyond anyone's guess what Kakashi had gone or was going through. Along with Gai, Asuma and Kurenai had been some of the most relentless pursuers of friendship that Kakashi remembered. They had never given up on him and Kurenai still had not.

* * *

Amused, Kurenai watched as Ichiraku Ayame held a manila folder close to her chest. A genjutsu was cast over her to look like someone other than herself, and although the younger woman was aware of it, she still looked incredibly paranoid walking down the hospital hall.

Mirai skipped alongside them. "Mama, mama!"

"Yes, darling?"

"I am so _hunguee_ , mama!"

"We're done now, sweetie. We just have to check out and then we can get some lunch with Ayame-sama."

Mirai managed squinting one eye in exaggeration, trying to wink. "Okie dokie, mama-pokie!"

Momentarily distracted by Mirai's utter cuteness, Ayame giggled at the little girl's antics. Kakashi had been right. The younger woman was very hospitable and welcomed Kurenai and Mirai happily into her home. She opened up and had been honest with Kurenai, about everything, probably relieved she could finally share the truth with a woman.

"O-NI-GI-RI! O-NI-GI-RI! YUM-YUM-YUMMY!" Mirai pumped her tiny fists into the air, singing her customary "I am about to eat" song. She even shook her butt. Little did she know that they were definitely _not_ having rice again. Kurenai could do two or three nights of onigiri, but four was too much.

Ayame laughed again, this time from her belly as Mirai continued to fantasize about rice balls. The girl was a mess.

"Her vocabulary is amazing!"

Kurenai nodded. "Most children with future prospects as shinobi are advanced in that area."

"I know! It's incredible. Shinobi kids are so strong too." Ayame's expression suddenly became thoughtful. Her fingers stroked the edges of the folder she carried.

"He or she might be the same," Kurenai provided. "Your baby."

Ayame blushed, holding the unopened folder closer. "You think so?"

"Although not known for large amounts of chakra, the Hatake clan's intelligence quotient is up to par with Konoha's Nara clan. Kakashi became a chuunin at six."

"I think I've heard that somewhere. That's…so young."

The two women exchanged dismal expressions. Back then there had been many child-soldiers. With war always at their heels, Konoha had had no choice. Kakashi was a byproduct of politicians' desperateness. Seeing his incredible talents, they made him into a weapon. Kurenai distinctly remembered the day the Sandaime had pulled a five year old Kakashi out of the Academy, saying his skills surpassed that of a pre-genin student. They gave him to Namikaze Minato, who trained and honed a young Kakashi's abilities. This was years before Obito and Rin joined them.

"So how far along are you?"

Ayame blinked at her as they entered the hospital lobby. She had been in deep thought. "Oh—pardon?"

 _My_ —she was perfect for Kakashi. She was the kind of difference in personality that he needed. He was one of the best men Kurenai knew and she was glad to see this young woman was kind like him. "How far along are you? What did the medic say?" Kurenai repeated with a kind smile.

The younger woman blushed and looked away. "Three weeks."

They got in line to sign out. Three weeks exactly? Her body had certainly wasted no time in conceiving. It had only been three weeks since the wedding. It usually took a few days for an ovum to get fertilized but quick conception was not unheard of. "How do you feel?"

"…Like it's not real."

"Yeah. I felt that way too."

Kurenai was not sure if Ayame knew she was doing it, but she kept looking at Mirai. Granted, her daughter was the cutest two year old in the world, but there was more to Ayame's gaze than admiration. She was frightened and unsure and Kakashi's words resounded in Kurenai's mind.

 _I've ruined her life._

She wanted to ask Ayame what her feelings were towards Kakashi but it was not her place. The two would marry. Kurenai was sure they could figure it out. They were not the kind of people who were unable to find it within themselves to love others. Kakashi was a caring man and what she was able to gather from Ayame was similar.

Kurenai hoped it was what had attracted them to one another in the first place.

* * *

Sasuke observed as Kakashi scanned the scroll.

"Hmm, this is worrisome."

"Ame doesn't want to move forward."

"I see that."

Sasuke clenched his jaw. "We can help."

Kakashi sighed. "We can but if we encroach our will there's no telling what could happen. Ame seems to be under the impression they can get rid of the trafficking themselves."

"That's ridiculous. They're barely a village."

"I agree, Sasuke. But what would you have me do?"

"Something."

"I've got my hands full." The man was busily scanning through multiple scrolls and had not once looked up since Sasuke arrived at the office.

He frowned. "Because you're getting married?"

Kakashi's attention finally rose to his student. "You know."

"I overheard." The popular news had surprised Sasuke. It was not a bad thing. It was great. But he could not appreciate much of its goodness when his heart was a thousand miles away in Ame. Even Sakura, with all the pretty smiles, could not deviate his thoughts from those enslaved people. A time or two, she had succeeded. A time or two, he thought home sweet home. But there were more important things in life than romance.

His sensei sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Sasuke, yes. I am getting married. But that's not why I have my hands full. I _am_ working on this. I won't let those people down."

"…"

"Do you trust me?"

Did he trust Kakashi? Why did the question make his chest ache and his memories swell with self-humiliation? Sasuke lowered his gaze, shame the only word he knew at the moment. How could he not answer the Hokage even this? The only father figure he had ever truly known.

Until this day, Sasuke questioned his biological father's love and loyalty to the village. He did not accept that Uchiha Fugaku was willing to sacrifice the lives of so many people, sons included, for the sake of pride. Sasuke had nearly followed in the same footsteps. A curse, indeed. In comparison to Fugaku, not once had Sasuke ever questioned those things from Kakashi—love nor loyalty nor selflessness.

Kakashi had loved team seven from the moment he walked into that classroom and an eraser fell on his head.

Sasuke heard rather then saw Kakashi roll his ridiculous-colored chair back and stand before him. He closed his eyes when the older man collapsed both of his shoulders.

"I trust you, Sasuke. I believe in you." _I love you._

"I don't deserve that." He could not look at his sensei. "From anybody."

"Maybe none of us deserve those things. But that's how I feel and I can't change it."

"Sensei…" He was supposed to call him the Hokage. "I want to help those people."

"Me too, Sasuke. We _will_ help them." Then Kakashi ruffled his hair as if he were twelve again.

And Sasuke could not help himself, eyes watering. "I trust you."

* * *

Kakashi stood outside Ayame's door, wanting to ask how it went with Kurenai. He had gone home after the sun set and changed into colorless civilian clothes. He was easily overlooked by the villagers like this, without a mask or any kind of shinobi paraphernalia—no kage insignias, no overflow of greetings. Not that he minded the greetings. They were nice.

He thought he should knock—but he could return tomorrow, maybe ask Kurenai herself for today's details. Yet it would be the right thing to stay and ask Ayame herself. If he did not start to become intentional it would be counterproductive to establishing an amistad with her. She would be his wife. He wanted her to think well of him.

He made up his mind to knock, but the door unlocked and a man stepped out. Ayame held it open as the two laughed loudly at a joke unknown to him. Kakashi easily recognized the man from the festival, when Ayame had been trying and failing to scoop goldfish. The two immediately took notice of him there in the hall.

"Hey!" the man greeted amiably. Ayame looked Kakashi up and down. She had never seen him dressed like this. Undressed, sure, but that was neither here nor there.

Kakashi smiled. "Hello."

"Hi," she said, shy.

Her visitor looked between them. "Here to see Aya-chan?" Kakashi considered the man. _Aya-chan?_

"He's a friend!" Ayame quickly supplied. "He came to get something."

"Yeah? I'll get out of here then. Thanks for dinner."

"Bye, bye Raiden-kun. See ya!"

"See ya, kiddo." The man walked off and Kakashi noted his build and superficial scarring about his face and hands.

"How are you?" he heard Ayame ask.

"I'm good thank you. What about you? How're you feeling?" Kakashi dragged his eyes from the end of the hall to Ayame. She seemed well. Her cheeks finally had color and her smile was wide.

"You know, I'm actually feeling good today. I told otousan I can go in tomorrow."

"That's...good." Who had that man been? He was a shinobi but not one of his. Yugao had mentioned Ayame's frequent male visitors, most notably a certain one that was not Naruto. He remained nameless since Kakashi did not think it right to keep strict tabs on Ayame or interrogate any and all people she interacted with. She would become his wife not his prisoner.

Was this the man that came often?

Ayame waved Kakashi inside and pressed herself against the doorframe, making room for him. She was casual about it, unlike the times before. She must have been getting used to it—him stopping by. He had not lied to Kurenai. Ayame was a hospitable person and accommodated others despite herself. She did not even think it strange that a full-grown man had left her home so late in the evening only for another to come quickly after.

"Raiden-kun is an old friend who comes by a lot and eats all my food," she obliviously informed him, thoughts still occupied with whatever dinner the two had had before Kakashi arrived. _Comes by a lot_ , she said. "Oh! Maybe I can make something for you. I may have—"

"No thank you. I ate." Did he?

"Oh...okay."

She closed the door and they stood together in the four foot hall that eventually opened up to the small apartment, a familiar awkward atmosphere trickling in. Whatever Naruto had supplied yesterday was gone. Whatever 'Raiden-kun' supplied at dinner also left. Ayame's smile lessened.

Kakashi was not a fool. He knew what he was feeling at that moment. He _had_ intended to ask how it went with Kurenai. But, "Why didn't you ask for me yesterday?"

 _That_ obviously had nothing to do with Kurenai. Ayame pressed her lips together, not following. Control yourself, Kakashi thought. He was not a child.

"Sensei?" she said and probably did not realize it. Quietness filled the area.

"Last night. I know it was Naruto who came and not because you asked him." He did not think it bothered him until that very moment.

Recognition filled her expression and she frowned. "Kakashi-sensei—sorry—Hokage-sama, it doesn't change—" She seemed to hold her thoughts from coming out of her mouth. She was so careful around him, reserved, proper. But she was not this. She was not a person to hold back. Not too long ago, she would blatantly flirt with a kage and now she could not even be herself with him. But she could with others. She could with the man that had just left her apartment.

"What doesn't it change?" he pushed her with his words. She could look her Raiden-kun in the eyes but she could not look into Kakashi's.

She glanced around them—perhaps for an escape from the small hallway, perhaps for an escape from him. "Maybe we should—"

" _What_ doesn't it change?"

Ayame held her breath. There was a pause—she raised her hand and then slowly, slowly, she gestured to both of them. "It does not change _this_."

"I know," he admitted. "But I can be useful."

"Because you feel guilty."

"Yes, because I feel guilty." He would not lie, not to her.

"And you think it's your fault."

"Yes."

She was offended but she was looking at him finally— _finally_. "You're too direct."

"Those are some of my reasons but not all. Please don't limit me."

"I don't want to but you're difficult to understand."

"If you ask me something, I will answer you."

She seemed surprised by his words and even he was too. But it was true. He could not deny her anything. In the past, he knew she had been curious of him. Blatant flirtation had been the number one clue. He denied her his attentions then but it was impossible now. He had to take responsibility.

"Ayame, I wish you would be honest with me."

"You're not always honest with me."

He stood a little straighter. "I haven't lied to you."

"But you don't show how you feel and I get confused when you do stuff like _this_ —showing up—" She choked up and had to restart. "Why did you come? And dressed like _that_ —what am I supposed to think when you pretend to be so nice to me? You came to ask how it went with Kurenai-san, right?"

He tried not to let what she said trouble him. Usually insults slid right off of him but her words made his brows furrow in offense. "I am not pretending to be nice."

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"There's nothing to be mad about."

She gave him a look. "You're not mad at all?"

"Are you mad?" Because it seemed that way to him. She could be so cold.

"Don't make this about me!"

She yelled at him and it upset him. "It's _about_ the child."

She burst into tears and he realized the unkindness of his words. He moved closer to her but did not touch her. She was in a vulnerable state and he should not have said that. They had never spoken for a long period of time before nor had they let previous superficial conversations elevate to arguing. They were both too nice for that kind of behavior but he supposed even nice people reacted poorly within high tensions and small spaces.

"Ayame, please forgive me. I don't mean it that way."

She nodded, hands covering her face. She did not like to cry in front of him. But she was forgiving. His chest tightened. He wanted to touch her but he would not. "If I am mad," he started gently, "it's at myself."

She rubbed at her eyes, sniffling. "Because you think it's your fault." Again with that.

"Yes."

"But _you_ were drunk."

"And _you_ are not the Hokage of Konohagakure. I know you may not understand my logic, but I do not blame you for anything that happened that night."

She frowned and looked away, arms crossed. "You're not listening to me."

He could not help but smile. "I am. I don't think you're listening to me."

" _I_ am." She angrily wiped at a stray tear.

They were both hopeless. He knew she did not hate him but held him in high esteem. He thought maybe he should hug her but who knew he could be such a coward. "Ayame-chan—"

She interrupted him with a hard poke to the chest. " _Don't_ call me that anymore."

He touched the place where she assaulted him, surprised. "I won't."

"Good." She continued to look away from him with arms crossed. She was letting herself be angry at him. He supposed it was a start. She was being honest—though perhaps this was not the best method to arise her candidness with him.

"Call me Kakashi."

"No."

His brows furrowed. "Why not?"

"Because."

Oh they were playing that game. He smiled. "Come have lunch with me from now on. It would be good."

She turned her glare on him and he was happy to have it zoned in on him. He kept the joy an internal one. There was no need to further irritate her. A poke would be the least of his worries. "It's…good for others to see us?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She really was mad. It should not have been making him as happy as he was.

"…I should go," he said, reading the atmosphere. Without saying anything, she opened the door, showing him she was all too ready for him to leave. They stood a couple more seconds there in her tiny hall until he stepped out.

He raised a hand in farewell. "I guess I'll get—" She slammed the door in his face, cutting him off.

* * *

 _As the lily among thorns,_

 _So is my love among the daughters._

 _-Songs of Solomon, 2:2_


	8. What Makes A Good Thing Good?

**I do not own** _ **Naruto.**_

 **America. Get it together. Checks and balances. You'll be fine.**

* * *

What Makes a Good Thing Good?

* * *

Kakashi watched Ayame pick at the food. On the Tower's flat roof, they sat on a two-seater table set up by administration. When they heard the future Daishukujo would be coming to eat lunch, they became beside themselves with joy but mostly incurable nosiness. The lunch they brought up was simple enough but the white canopy above their heads may have been a tad too much, never mind the roses in the middle of the table.

Ayame halfheartedly bit into a strawberry and slowly placed it back in the fruit bowl. He had already finished his, along with the rest of his lunch, ten minutes ago. She poked the half eaten strawberry. Her fingernails were painted florescent pink with each index finger decorated in glittery silver. In the past, the few times he'd seen her out of the chef uniform Kakashi had always considered her to be very feminine. The notion held truer today, with the braids and nail polishes and dresses. He was not sure if he had ever seen her in trousers.

"Not hungry?"

"Mornings are hard on my stomach. It gets better in the afternoon."

"Maybe we could move this to a later lunch?"

She nodded. "I could switch times with one of the employees."

"I'm sorry if it's an inconvenience."

She lightly shook her head. "No, sensei. I know you're doing what's best and I'm grateful." He did not think she was aware of what she called him sometimes. He did not correct her.

"I saw you came in a rickshaw." The locomotives were convenient transportation for civilians.

She nodded again. "It saves time and I noticed I get a little more tired than usual."

"Should I meet you instead?"

"I don't mind either way...well..."

"Yes?"

"My coworkers don't know, so maybe for now I'll come here."

The engagement was national news by now but the name of his betrothed was not. For now, at least. It would only be a matter of time.

"If that's what you want."

"Thank you."

She reached into the cream satchel she brought with and he wondered if she was still upset from last night. She was cordial this afternoon, if not a little stiff, but she was meeting his gaze whenever they exchanged dialogue. Ayame pulled out a manila folder and the blueprints from last week. She placed the documents next to the roses.

"I like the second house."

He recalled the layout and smiled. The house had dorian countertops. It was the most expensive construction piece and she must have known it too, cheeks red.

"It's a good pick," he said. He liked it too.

"The other ones were really great and economic, but this one just stood out and I can chip in. I have money saved."

"There's no need."

She blushed harder, but this time from frustration and he knew he should have not been quick to dismiss her offer. "I knew you would say that, but I work hard for my things. I always have." He called to mind her little apartment and the consideration of every item and design selected and placed within it.

"I don't mind providing for the both of you." He wanted to suggest for her to retire in comfort, but thought better of it. He knew she loved working with her father and honestly he did not know how to tell her the Daishukujo's place was not at a ramen stand.

"I know…I know I won't always be able to work." Her intuitiveness took him by surprise. Her pretty nails lightly caressed the manila folder between them. "Af-after the baby especially, so for now…please let me help in small ways, like furniture and kitchenware. I should be able to do that. I have some ideas…"

"That's no problem." If her apartment was anything to go by, Ayame was a particular designer.

She gave him a little smile and it reminded him of last year, how that very smile would be accompanied by blushes and hopeful gazes. "Thanks," she said and he held his breath.

"I want you to do things, Ayame. As much as you can."

"I wish I knew more about how to act and simply exist as your…fiancé person," she admitted shyly.

He did not want her to think she always needed permission. He was the Hokage, a figure of extreme authority in the shinobi world, but it would be different with her. A kage's authority did not completely cover their spouse, not in Konohagakure at least. Culturally, they would be seen as equals and would share equivalent reverence from those they were over in the village. The Sandaime and his wife had been a great example of this—Minato and Kushina were taken too soon to say.

Indisputably, there were things Ayame would not be able to do anymore, but those limitations were for the village's sake and her protection. Private things like house decorating had nothing to do with political policies or self-preservation. If she painted the house the color of her nails he would not care. It would match the office chair, really.

"You will learn. It's new for the both of us. Everybody, actually," he added the last bit, thinking more about their situation. She would be the first non-shinobi to be Daishukujo, hence the extra protection. Yugao was not the only one hiding in the shadows.

She giggled. "Yeah, it's 'new.'"

He smirked. "That's the best way to explain it, isn't it?"

"It's 'new.'" She laughed some more. "How do you feel today?" she said in a deep voice.

" 'New,'" he said with a lowered octave, knowing where she was going with the joke. She laughed loudly at his quick thinking and he smiled in victory. He had not made her laugh like that since before that night. He was glad for it.

She wiped at the corner of her eye, still trembling with mirth. "Why was that so funny?"

He chuckled. "I don't know."

She laughed a little more, letting the giggles fade and then took a sip of water. A few more laughs escaped before she settled down and Kakashi felt the atmosphere relax with the current mood. She glanced down at the manila folder and gently pushed it towards him. "I thought we should open it together."

"Oh." He wondered. "Should I—"

"You can—" They both stopped talking in favor of whatever the other was going to say but no one continued.

Tentatively, he reached for the manila folder. It must have had to do with the child. He unwound the twine once, twice and it came open. He reached in and between its folds he slid out a glossy black paper with blurred gray and white images. Upon closer inspection, the sonogram took form.

"It looks like a pea."

"It does?!"

She jumped out of her seat and came around. He did not think she knew how close she was. Her chest pressed against his shoulder in her haste to see the glossy scan. The times she would hover very close when he would accompany Naruto to Ichiraku's came to mind. Today she did not do it for his attentions but for their pea child. He smiled and held the sonogram closer. Her scent still carried like cherry almonds.

"Wow," she whispered and he could not help but look at her. Her eyes shun with unshed tears and for the first time since the news of the pregnancy he thought perhaps he had not completely ruined her life.

The way she gazed at it—the way her pink lips curved—that was not the look of a woman whose life had been robbed by a man's lust.

* * *

Their second lunch started out not so bad too.

It took place after twelve so her stomach was kind and the lunch stayed down. After they finished eating, Kakashi suggested they walk around the hedge garden in front of administration. Curious eyes were always down there.

"Which one is your favorite?" he asked, strolling into the hedge that represented Suna. He was holding her hand. She had not asked why or stopped him. She had done the same thing days ago, hoping to convince others of their well-established engagement. Of their fondness towards one another.

"Ours," she answered, thinking of the fire hedge they had recently passed. "It's home."

He smiled. She could tell by the way his mask moved. "It's my favorite too," he said.

"The Will of Fire speech always gets to me."

"It's my favorite speech to make."

She grinned. His sarcasm was so casual sometimes others would miss it. "Is it hard?"

He shrugged. "We all basically know the spiel by memory in Konoha, Hokage or not."

She laughed. "No, if it's hard making speeches."

Kakashi considered her, thoughtful. "I am a shy man."

Her shoulders shook with more laughter. "You are _not_ shy."

They stepped out of the hedge, laughing and moving on to the next one. "Speeches are fine. I want Konoha to move forward and if a little encouragement in the form of a monologue is all it takes, then so be it."

He made the statement casual, as if his words were insignificant, mundane truths that everyone should know or abide by. But Ayame knew he meant them—a lot of people in Konoha believed in the Will of Fire and swore by it. The village would have not gotten very far without the deep bonds of friendship and love everyone tried to maintain, especially now during peaceful times. They wanted to leave the past that was full of hate and fear far, far behind.

"You are a good man," she said and he paused, looking at her curiously. She blushed. "You _are_."

He didn't reply and she was not sure what to say as they stood there outside the Kumo hedge. Why wasn't he speaking? Her heart raced. They were getting along so well just now. She was sure she hadn't said anything wrong. He let go of her hand and she opened her mouth to say something about his weird reaction—

"Sensei, you're getting married!" Sakura appeared out of one of the hedge corners, tears in her eyes, excited. She wore a medic uniform, pretty hair down and past her shoulders now.

"I am?" Kakashi said and legitimately looked surprised. Sakura paused, confusion marring her brow, thinking maybe she had heard wrong. Ayame would have laughed if it he had not just done a one eighty on her.

Sakura frowned, the diamond on her forehead shifting as her brow furrowed. "I heard some people talking about it and then I asked Sasuke-kun if he knew anything. He said you…were…" Sakura's gaze moved to Ayame.

Ayame smiled easily. Sakura was a sweet girl—she'd been a little annoying in the past but that was forever ago. She had blossomed into an indispensable part of Konoha's foundation. Naruto also cherished Sakura and that had always been enough for Ayame to hold the younger woman in high esteem.

"How are you, Sakura-san?"

"Ayame-san! Are you getting married to sensei?" Sakura's chin was basically touching her collarbone, flabbergasted.

Ayame tried to act cool about it, as Kakashi did with everything, but her face burned hot. "Ye-yeah." That had come out not even an eighth of Kakashi's coolness.

"Oh my _gosh_!" Sakura screamed and ran up to Ayame, embracing her. _Oh my_ —Sakura was rather strong for a petite woman, wasn't she? "This is great news!" She reached out and pulled Kakashi into the impressive hug. The man looked like he had no choice in the matter, Sakura's strength greater than anybody ever, apparently.

"Uh, Sakura—" Kakashi started and Ayame was all too aware of how he was pressed against half her back. What incredible strength this young lady—

"Sensei's found somebody," Sakura cried, voice thick with emotion. "Finally, _finally_!"

Finally? Ayame glanced up at Kakashi. He wore a mildly exasperated expression. He placed a hand on Sakura's pink hair and for a moment Ayame believed he would ruffle it and then ask her to let go. Instead, he sighed and pressed the crying girl into his chest.

"It's alright, Sakura. No need to cry."

"I'm—I'm just so _happy_!"

"I know."

"You _deserve_ this."

Sighing again, Kakashi simply dragged a comforting hand down Sakura's hair and then back up. He repeated the motion again and Ayame watched awed at the gentleness he displayed with Sakura. Kakashi caught her gaze and she looked away, feeling many things. Mostly, she was half sandwiched between the Hokage and his top medic, and then there was Kakashi's undeniable fatherly behavior. It stirred something fierce within her—but there was also his previous awkward reaction to being called a good man, ruining the pleasant mood.

When Sakura released them, Ayame tried not to make her step back too obvious.

Sakura laughed apologetically, tucking a silky strand of rosette behind an ear, big green eyes blinking at both of them. "Sorry about that." She was jumpy, obviously excited for the man who had once been her mentor.

Ayame smiled, amused with Sakura's behavior. They were not dissimilar. Ayame had been just as happy when she found out about Yumi's engagement. "It's fine," she assured. "He's your sensei."

Sakura grinned, looking between both of them. "And you're Ichiraku Ayame. Naruto must be really happy about this too."

"Ecstatic," Kakashi provided.

Sakura threw him a suspicious glance, accustomed to the wit therefore easily picking up on it. Ayame noticed. Now that she thought about it, Kakashi's closest people seemed to catch on to his personality versus everyone else. As kids, Ayame wondered how long it had taken team seven to understand their sensei could be a satirical cad.

Sakura rolled her eyes and then grinned. "So when's the wedding?"

Kakashi rubbed at his neck, flexing his neck to the side. "Less than two months?"

"Whoa! Fun," Sakura commented, thrilled. Seemingly unconscious, she scooted closer to Kakashi. She placed a hand over the back of his neck, and without touching, her hand glowed green. His shoulders instantly relaxed. Ayame marveled. Shinobi abilities never failed to amaze her. What gifts!

Kakashi sighed. "Thanks, Sakura."

"You look down too much while your reading."

"I know."

"You need to have a checkup!"

"I know."

"I can't always come to you."

"I know—yes."

"I'm so busy with the psychological program and all—"

"—Of course—"

"—But I really want you to be healthy, sensei. I'll worry for you! And you have Ayame-san now to think about." Sakura's hand turned back into a normal color and she dropped it onto her hip, lecturing Kakashi. "Really, now. A healthy Hokage, a healthy village."

"What kind of program?" Ayame kindly interjected, curious. Seeing the two interact like an aged father and worried daughter made Ayame want to be part of the exchange. It also eased Kakashi's random moment of literally sucking the fun out of the atmosphere before Sakura came and saved the day.

Sakura's eyes lit up. "I'm glad you asked!"

* * *

The third and fourth lunch went well enough, if not a little reserved. Talking was only done if necessary and Ayame was not sure what she had done wrong. They took to restaurants close to the Tower and many villagers greeted them. Kakashi was a pro, per usual taking everything in stride. She did her best and used her customer service skills to appease those who approached them shyly, wondering about their story.

They both gave vague responses filled with simple truths.

"He would come by with his students often…"

"She was close to one of my students, you see…"

"He became my friend over the years and…"

"As a boy, my sensei's wife used to take me to Ichiraku's…'

The modest answers were not met with scrutiny or skepticism but with open arms, enthusiasm even. To them, it was easy to believe the Hokage had an ideal love story. In the eyes of the villagers, it was only fit for their leader to fall in love and marry a young woman from Konoha. The fact that young woman was a civilian seemed to excite everyone. They romanticized it out of proportion, really.

Ayame tried not to feel too guilty for secretly taking away their perceived notions of a Hokage's love story. Even she felt bad for taking whatever Kakashi's private idea of marriage was. Ayame herself lamented the loss of her own fairy tale ending.

But regret would not get her anywhere nor would it return normalcy to her life. She would grin and bear it. If she was woman enough to have sex with a man, then she was woman enough to be a mother and take responsibility.

She had a little extra flare of chakra to think about now. And soon, she was slowly beginning to comprehend, an entire village.

* * *

After their fifth lunch, Ayame had off so they went for a longer walk than usual. Hand in hand, they were walking down one of many concrete paths with rows and rows of trees on either side. When the latest curious passerby was out of sight, Ayame ripped her hand from his.

" _What_ is your issue?"

He frowned—oh no no _no_. He was not going to play dumb with her. She would not let him get away with nonchalance as he often did with others when he wanted to avoid any emotional stimulation or verbal confrontation.

"Be honest with me, _Hokage_ -sama."

"Ayame, I have always—"

"Okay, you haven't ever really lied to me _but_ honesty doesn't always mean telling the truth. It also means expressing yourself when the situation calls for it." She waved towards him, as if waiting for him to do just that.

He blinked in response and she wondered if anybody had ever tried to explain basic friendship etiquette to him—or force him to talk about his feelings. Apparently not as he was starting to look a little lost. Her heart melted a bit but concentrated on the matter at hand.

Maybe she could help him out. "Did it take you by surprise when I called you a good man?"

"…Yes."

That was good. Now: "Is it because you believe I'm the last person who should think that of you?"

His eyes narrowed, suspicious. It was the topic of their continuous disagreement.

Ayame smirked, tapping her forehead. "It doesn't always take a prodigy to figure out what a man is thinking." She lowered her hand, becoming serious. "You are a good man. I never stopped believing that. You know I…I liked you for a reason. I'm sure I still do but it's just complicated now. Just please stop feeling bad about it. I'm trying to move past what happened—how it happened. You should too."

By the end of all that Ayame thought she was going to pass out from the embarrassment but she needed to say those things out loud for him and for herself. She wiped at her face, wet from overdeveloped hormones. Tears were her constant companions lately as was the little flare inside of her. Ever since she saw the sonogram, she started to feel a little braver, a little less guilty. She was going to be a mommy. She rested her hands on her flat belly.

"Ayame…" His eyes softened, landing on her hands.

"So much is changing so fast for the both us. I don't know if you meant what you said that night at the park, but let's really do our best and get along. For the village." Even though she was crying, she was glad her voice did not waver. "For our baby."

Kakashi stepped forward and raised his hand, as if to touch her cheek. She was about to step forward to encourage him—she knew how gentle those hands could be—

"Yo is this creep bothering you?" Raiden coolly walked towards them from behind Kakashi. She spotted him quickly.

Ayame gasped. "Raiden, this is—"

Kakashi titled his body towards Raiden, passing him an unimpressed look. "Raiden, is it? Takano Raiden. Child assassin of the Third War. Illegally hid under the supervision of Ichiraku Teuchi for two years. Currently an Ame rogue with a large bounty on his head." Kakashi crossed his arms, apparently bored.

Ayame stared, pleasant atmosphere completely gone. What?

"The hell?" Raiden looked rightly affronted and Ayame questioned the man's sanity. He took a step forward and Ayame made to stop him but Kakashi's gaze did that thing she'd seen a few shinobi do when they were facing down an enemy: the infamous 'killing intent.' Both Raiden and Ayame froze. Her heart dropped somewhere beneath her toes and she prayed Raiden would hurry up and recognize who the heck he was talking to like that.

Kakashi continued with a deceptively calm voice, "You think Teuchi would put his family in danger or commit treason in favor of housing a war criminal? You were under surveillance those two years. Shall I give Ame a call and tell them we have their rogue?"

Ayame swallowed and willed herself to move. This was the Hokage, yes, but it was also just Kakashi: the man she saw as a young boy dragged by Kushina-san to eat ramen and forced to socialize and then as a man be dragged back by that same woman's son. Today, Kakashi was the father of the child she carried. And soon they would marry. They had finally been going somewhere in conversation but then Raiden showed up unexpectedly. He must've misread the situation because she was not a crier. He was just looking out.

Lately she had been mentally practicing how to separate Kakashi the man from Kakashi the kage and she decided right now was as good a time as any to make good on that.

She stepped in between the two men and Kakashi's gaze immediately softened and became one of bemusement. "That's enough, _Kakashi_." She blushed. Okay maybe that was too much authority.

She heard Raiden sigh behind her in relief and she quickly turned around to whack him across the head. He squatted down in pain, gripping his head.

"Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta!" he cried. "Aya-chan, why!"

"This is the Rokudaime!"

Raiden opened his mouth to simply retort in frustration but then he probably processed what she had just said because the knot between his brows loosened in confusion and his mouth snapped close. He looked at Kakashi in absolute discomfort. "The Hokage?" he said, unsure.

Ayame followed her old friend's gaze. "The Hokage."

"My sincerest apologies!" Raiden nearly kowtowed. Ayame had to look away. "Please, I did not recognize you. I was only thinking of my friend at the moment. Of course you're the Rokudaime. _Of course_." The red band on Kakashi's arm was hard to miss.

Was what Kakashi said true? Had otousan really informed the authorities all those years ago? If so, Ayame couldn't imagine what Raiden was feeling. He loved otousan so much. They were all family.

"Why haven't you turned yourself in?" Kakashi said. "It's been two years since the war. All shinobi villages have decreed pardons for rogues who aided during the war. We have records that you were among our numbers."

Ayame watched in awe as Raiden actually flushed, sitting on his heels. "There are certain circumstances that prevent me from doing so. Sir."

"I see," Kakashi said. "Then perhaps we could discuss them at a better time. Until then, we'll be detaining you."

"What? No!" Ayame cried as two ANBU suddenly appeared behind Raiden. He seemed resigned to the rapid change of events, as if he expected this or knew there was no fighting against the authorities. No fighting against the Hokage. Why would he try to become a citizen if he thought this could happen?

How had everything changed so quickly? Ayame felt a sudden deep loss of control seeing her oldest friend—her brother—being arrested.

She went to grab him, absolutely mortified for Raiden, hoping to do something—anything—but Kakashi grabbed her forearm and pulled back. In her desperation, she didn't think—couldn't think— _this was her friend_ —and slapped him.

Well, she tried. She'd always been a poor aim and only the tips of her fingers grazed his jaw.

The atmosphere froze in silence. Raiden and the ANBU at her back did not speak or move from whatever position they were in. She all but forgot them. All she could do was process Kakashi's shocked expression. Her throat tightened. She'd crossed a very bold line, in front of his men no less. Her heart raced behind her mouth and she did not know what to do.

She was not strong and had barley nicked him but she could tell she hurt him. Not physically, of course. His head had not moved a centimeter from the position it had been in before she swung.

Maintaining eye contact with her, Kakashi said, "Take him away." And perhaps those words were his revenge. Ayame released a sob. Whatever moment of peace the two had been about to share, and all that could have followed, evaporated in a moment of desperateness.

She spun around to look at her oldest friend but the two ANBU were halfway into a large leap and quickly disappeared behind the trees. She took a few steps towards their direction, feeling helpless and very badly wanting to speak with her father.

"I'll walk you home," Kakashi said, back turned.

 _Oh_ she was such an idiot. If only she could control her temper—oh she knew it always got her into trouble. She felt things too strongly. Her father always tried to teach her control but seeing Raiden get treated like that, by Kakashi no less, it frightened her.

She was more than sure he was pissed and she deserved it—but she was mad at him too. She had not liked the way he treated Raiden. He had been patronizing and...authoritative? She supposed there was nothing wrong with the latter considering he was the highest authority figure in the country but the former bothered her. Even Kakashi had his flaws and she knew it. She did not like how patronizing he had been.

Raiden was Ayame's oldest friend. She wasn't looking for special treatment during his arrest because honestly all that nonsense about being a wanted rogue sounded like a lot of crazy her father spared her growing up. Still, she thought as she watched Kakashi's back, there had been a spirit of patronization and she didn't like it one bit. That trait of his was usually harmless but not today.

He said he'd walk her home but she did not want him to. "I'll walk myself home." The sound of her voice surprised her. It was as if she had not drunk water in days.

Kakashi's shoulders tensed and then they relaxed. He did not even look at her as he always did. "Alright."

And then he was gone.

* * *

She did not know he would come get her for lunch.

In the middle of a Saturday afternoon, Ayame stood outside the ramen bar with the Hokage of Konohagakure. Chef coworkers looked over the counter in shock and regulars turned on the stools in wonder.

Kakashi had that political smile on and she wondered if attempting to smack the Hokage again in front of his citizens would get her arrested. She stepped closer to him. Bystanders probably thought the action was endearing, a moment between lovers, but little did they know—

"At my _job_?" she nearly growled through clenched teeth.

"They were bound to find out." He continued to smile, even stepping closer to her, amusing her. But he did not touch her.

"Not anytime soon, they wouldn't have." She asked otousan to let everyone figure it out in time, when the right rumors reached them. She did not mention the incident with Yumi to her father. She did not think anyone else in the world capable of using the news against her as Yumi had, but she wanted to savor whatever semblance of normality she could until it became impossible at her workplace.

"They caught on quick."

"That's because you showed up and said 'I am engaged with Ichiraku Ayame and I'm here to take her out for lunch.'"

He innocently tilted his head, no doubt looking accommodating and placid to those behind her. "I may have said that."

" _You did say that_." He had said it barely two minutes ago.

He only smiled in response, looking every bit the endearing lover. "The wording was changed a bit."

She stepped closer—she wouldn't win but maybe she could at least get one good—

"Ayame. Hokage-sama." Otousan placed his hands on their shoulders. "It's great to see the two of you get on so well in public, but this is a business. Go on your date now. I'll explain it to the boys."

Ayame deflated. "Okay, otousan. I'll be back in an hour."

Teuchi good naturedly hummed. "Come back in two!"

"Oh _no_." she groaned. Teuchi and Kakashi looked to her. "Oh _no_ ," she corrected with a sweeter voice.

Teuchi raised a brow at her sarcasm, unphased. "You go and work things out with this man."

It was Kakashi and Ayame's turn to look at Teuchi. "But otousan, Raiden-kun—"

"I know. I can't say I didn't warn him. Kakashi?"

"Sir?"

"You'll look out for my boy, won't you? And the other two?"

"Of course." Kakashi's answer grabbed Ayame's attention.

"You two be on your way and figure things out."

* * *

She continued to glance at him as they walked through less populated streets, hand in hand. They were not walking towards any of the restaurants or food stands.

"Are you very hungry?" He had to ask before continuing.

She shook her head. "What was otousan talking about? Did you tell him? What other two?"

"Last night I met with him and explained what happened yesterday."

Her eyes widened more than usual. They always looked darker when she wore the white uniform.

"I didn't tell him you tried to beat me up."

Her mouth opened, probably shocked he'd bring it up so jokingly. Honestly, he had been stunned when she tried to hit him (and missed very badly.) It upset him. Showing up melodramatically at her place of work had been a small retribution, really.

She stopped walking and he followed suit, her hand anchoring him. "I'm so sorry about that. I have no right."

He shrugged a shoulder. She had every right, he thought, but would not say it out loud. It would only upset the mood further. It seemed every time they spoke for an extended amount of time they would come out arguing or he would offend her somehow. Yesterday had been Takano Raiden's fault, with his terrible timing—just when the two had been going somewhere.

Kakashi sighed. Now was not the time for those thoughts. "Ayame, come with me. There is something I need for you to do."

She gazed at him, hesitant but curious. "You want me to do something?"

"Come," he said gently, pulling their conjoined hands towards himself. "I'll tell you on the way there. It will be faster if I carry you."

She blushed but nodded. There was that trust again, even after imprisoning her dear Raiden-kun she was blindly trusting him. It was that same look that got them into trouble in the first place. It was not misplaced trust because he would never hurt her, but if she not had it perhaps she would not be pregnant and he would not be forcing a marriage.

She came close and his shoulder dipped, arm carefully scooping the back of her knees. Lifting her securely to him, Kakashi leapt onto the nearest roof. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, unafraid but embarrassed it was not someone other than him carrying her. They hadn't been so close since that night. He met her pretty gaze and this time he looked away, surprisingly embarrassed too. He'd carried countless like this, but not her. It was different.

Cherry almonds infiltrated his nostrils and he held her closer—more than he really needed to. She did not comment nor did he as they leapt to another roof and then another. She was not a short woman or the thinnest. She was quite slender until the flare of hips curved attractively outwards into a generous backside, sloping back into soft, supple thighs. Modestly, her curves were usually hidden under dresses and skirts, but even then her feminine attributes were obvious to anyone with eyes. And Kakashi had two very good ones.

"Sensei?" she whispered, arms holding him tighter, half her chest pressing against his. "Where are we going?" The question brought his thoughts from that night and he nodded, letting her know he was listening.

"We're going to the Interrogation Force."

* * *

Ayame entered a cold, concrete hallway with very little light. She looked back to Kakashi and a guard dressed in all gray and a long dark coat. He had scars all over his face too. Pretty scary if you asked her.

"He's not hurt is he?"

Kakashi lightly shook his head, assuring her with a smile through the ever-present mask. "He is fine. No one has interrogated him."

"Or tortured him?" This facility was known for its brutal methods of acquiring intel. Even someone like Ayame knew that. The guard and Kakashi glanced at one another and shared a knowing chuckle.

"Go ahead and see for yourself, madam," the guard offered politely. "Our dear Hokage told us to play nice with this one. So we've been on our best behavior. He's in the twelfth cell to the right. The only occupied one these days. "

Kakashi nodded. "We'll leave you to it."

Ayame nodded and when they closed the heavy metal door, she briskly walked down the cold hall. Passing a few holding cells, she found Raiden. He was standing, probably hearing her the moment that creaky door had been opened.

"Aya-chan?"

"Raiden-kun! You're...okay?"

"I'm surprised too. I heard this place was ungodly. The guys here are actually really nice. Then again, I've only been here one night so there's that."

Despite herself, Ayame laughed. He sized her up.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Ayame had the decency to blush a little. "I'm...close with the Hokage."

"You slapped the Hokage," Raiden said, recalling the action with shock, maybe a little impressed. "You must be closewith him, since you're not in here right next to me."

"I feel bad about that."

"How are you still alive?"

Ayame looked everywhere but at her friend. "Oh-uh, well. Um. ThetruthisIammarryinghimsupersoon. Yeah."

"What!"

She leaned her forehead on a bar, exasperated. "I know! It's totally weird." When he didn't say anything she looked up to see him giving her a lemon face. "What?" she snapped right back.

"What kind of joke it that?"

She fumed. Was it so hard to believe? "I got access to your holding cell, didn't I?"

"But he's so _old_."

"He's 33."

"Basically a grandpa to you."

"Not true, Raiden-kun."

"He has gray hair."

"It's not gray, it's silver. He was born that way."

"Wow."

She crossed her arms. "Wow what?"

"Just... _wow_."

"Raiden-kun, I need you to be a little more specific."

"You seduced a kage level shinobi." Raiden's stare was obviously spectacle. "You're great and all, but this is Hatake Kakashi we're talking about."

"Took you long enough to notice yesterday, Raiden-kun. Geez. What was that?"

"I know. I know. I just saw you crying and didn't care about the rest of the details." He gestured towards her, "You never cry." Then he grew serious. "But, Aya-chan, the Hokage?"

She did her best to look smug. "What can I say? This Ramen Girl's still got it."

Raiden laughed. "Oh God, you're crazy. I respect you. Baker Boy will have a field day when he hears about this. When's the wedding?"

She was sure there was a part of him that wanted to know such details about her life. He had always been curious about the life of civilians, a fleeting desire of the past. He said that when he had been trapped in that terrible tree back during the war he had seen himself live a simple life. She didn't blame him. She had always known shinobi life was complicated, but recently she had had the opportunity to be extremely up close and personal. She understood why many shinobi decided to retire early.

But Ayame thought Raiden was also trying to distract her from the fact he was being detained in a jail cell. "Month and a half," she answered kindly.

Raiden smiled that smile. "Congratulations, kiddo."

"Raiden-kun?" she said. "Why are they holding you here?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I won't tell them what they want to hear. Aya-chan, can't you see why your fiancé let you visit me?"

She didn't respond at first, but the nudging feeling at the back of her mind nudged some more. She leaned into the bars. "I have an idea. But if you cooperate, you'll be out. You don't want to go back to Ame? To your family? Kakashi-sensei says they'll pardon you. They're trying to rebuild their village…or something."

"Is that what he said?"

She nodded. "You were there remember?"

Raiden leaned close to her and she held her breathe. "Listen, Aya-chan. I've done a lot of bad things to stay off the radar for longer than you've been born. Back then, being a child meant nothing in the shinobi world. Even if I fought in the last war, I doubt I'll actually be pardoned by Ame. Ever since the Akatsuki were defeated, that village has been a mess. It's not my home. It never was. It hardly matters now. I have a feeling I'll be stuck here until Ame comes to confiscate their property. I'll die in some dungeon."

"That's not true and the Hokage wouldn't let that happen."

"Wouldn't he?"

She didn't know. But she had to believe. "I can make him."

Raiden's brows shot up. "What?"

"I can be persuasive. I'll be his wife, after all."

Raiden grinned. "You pervert." Ayame reached through the bars and whacked him. "Ah-ta-ta-ta!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Well, you _could_."

If he only knew. She tried again. "I can speak with him. But you have to speak with me first."

Raiden measured her up. And then he scratched at his expanding bread. "Hey, do you think we can talk about something else?"

She deflated. She really wanted to persuade him to listen to the authorities but she didn't want to push him. "Yeah, sure. What do you wanna talk about?"

"How mad is the old man?"

Ayame smiled, resigned to accommodate her oldest friend. "Not mad at all, really."

* * *

After a quick chat, the metal door creaked open. "I guess that's my cue."

"Yeah. Probably got tired of listening in."

Ayame considered his words and wondered if they were true. Had they been listening the whole time? It would make sense... Saying their goodbyes and promises to see each other again, Ayame went to leave. Raiden called after her.

She turned, "Yeah?" She hoped it was something that would help him get out of here. He did not deserve this.

"Don't worry about me so much. I know you're bias because we're family, but your boyfriend isn't wrong to lock me up. Don't be too hard on him. I deserve to be put away—it's not fun—but I deserve it."

Her throat tightened with emotion. "Maybe you do deserve it. Maybe sometimes we all do."

"Those are good words, Aya-chan."

She managed a laugh, choked up and sad at the life Raiden must have lived to think so little of himself. She thought of Kakashi and how happy Sakura had been for her engaged sensei. "Good words for a good man."

* * *

 _I live among the cold, the false,_

 _And I must seem like them;_

 _And such I am, for I am false_

 _As those I most condemn._

 _I teach my lip its sweetest smile._

 _My tongue its softest tone;_

 _I borrow others' likeness, till_

 _Almost I lose my own._

 _-Letitia Elizabeth Landon, Stanza III-IV of 'Lines of life'_


	9. Pity Parties

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

* * *

Pity Parties: One Too Many

* * *

Sitting on the cell's cot, Raiden heard the metal door creak open. Steps resounded down the concrete hall and he figured it was not anybody with food since they'd already given him dinner for the night. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the footsteps. There were two sets.

He opened his eyes to see the Hokage of Konohagakure standing outside the holding cell. The second pair of footsteps stayed hidden just outside of Raiden's view.

"Good evening," the kage said but his tone was neutral. He did not sound like the friendly man who gave speeches to the village. Raiden had been privy to a few village events, the Shinobi-Civilian festival being the most recent. The Hokage seemed like an amiable man and the word around town was that he had been Uzumaki Naruto's teacher.

But now there was no trace of kindness in those eyes and Raiden wondered if Aya-chan really knew the man she was marrying. Perhaps Hatake Kakashi's reputation was not as stained as Raiden's in the bingo books thanks to his constant loyalty to Konoha, but there was a reputation there nonetheless. Friend-killer Kakashi, ruthless assassin, kekkei genkai thief...

"Good evening," Raiden replied evenly, matching the older man's voice. He did not want to be disrespectful because this was the kage of the village Raiden wanted to be a part of. But now it would not happen so it did not matter. He did not believe Aya-chan could really convince this man of anything. A kage's first responsibility was the village not a woman.

"You've been trying to become a citizen."

"Did the old man tell you that too?"

"No. The friend that you snuck into my village did."

Raiden felt a rage swell inside the pit of his stomach. He did not care if Teuchi had once told Konoha about him all those years ago, but he had hoped the old man would never say anything about _her_. Raiden had been an idiot to tell the old man anything this time around.

He stood very slowly from the cot, hands fisted beside him. Mostly he was afraid but he could not show it _to this man_. "She has nothing to do with this. Or the kid. They have nothing to do with me."

"You brought them here and for weeks you've tried to get them citizenship." The Hokage's expression remained serious and Raiden's heart raced. This was Aya-chan's guy? Raiden did not want her with a kage. It was dangerous. Yesterday afternoon, the man already tried to use her in favor of getting information out of Raiden. And she was too oblivious to realize it. But it would not work.

Then there was _her_ and the child. He swallowed whatever remained of his pride and kowtowed once more to the Hokage. "I don't care what you do to me. But please don't punish them for my mistakes. Don't tell Ame about them. _Please_." He hated that village with every fiber of his being and he did not hate easily.

"Who's the father of that child?"

Raiden's face turned very red and his eyes watered, disgusted with the insinuation. He did not look up when he answered. "Not mine. _She's just a kid_ , man."

"Was she part of Ame's underground trafficking?"

Raiden immediately snapped his attention to the Hokage. "What?"

"Konoha wants to help people like your friend."

Raiden frowned. What did Konoha know about people like Haruhi?

"I want to bring them here, where they will be safe. Just like your friend. There are programs that can help them return to normal life. That can help them return to society." Hatake Kakashi stepped closer to the bars of the cell. "Konoha is stuck. Ame isn't giving us the leverage we need."

Raiden felt like his heart would leap out of his chest, thoughts racing. "What are you asking?"

"I think you know."

Finally, the second pair of footsteps stepped out next to join the Hokage. Whoa, Raiden thought.

Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

Ayame watched as a couple fed each other noodle after noodle from the other side of the ramen bar. They were obviously in love, in the honeymoon phase where feeding each other like babies was totally okay and romantic. She thought it was too and could not help stare at them every now and then as she prepared meals for the customers.

Once they even slurped a single noodle at the same time and pop kissed right there in front of everyone! They giggled like teenagers and continued their little game. Ayame blushed and looked away, but her eyes did not stay away long.

There was an unmistakable longing inside of Ayame.

That would never be her and Kakashi, would it? They had bypassed all sorts of milestones and Ayame would never have a boyfriend or a first date. Maybe if she would have just stopped him that night, she could have convinced him to date her and they could be feeding each other noodles now. But they were always fighting. He made her so angry sometimes.

Then there was that whole thing with Raiden. She tried to see him on her day off yesterday but they would not let her in the building without Kakashi.

"Ayame-chan—I mean—sama, the tea!"

She startled. She came back down from her pity party to the kettle screeching for undivided attention. It spat water everywhere in a tantrum. Ayame hustled and bustled, turning off the stove and cleaning up the mess.

"Aoi, don't call me –sama!" Ayame said, hanging a damp towel on its designated hook in the wall.

"Don't reprimand the boy, Ayame-chan," Otori walked in from the kitchen with two orders. "He's only showing respect for our new Daishukujo."

Aoi guffawed as he made his way towards the back, doorframe beads clanking in his wake. Ayame groaned. She could just strangle Kakashi if she knew it wouldn't sentence her to a life in prison.

"I'm not the Daishukujo yet."

"Soon though!" Aoi called from the back and the other chefs with him laughed too. They all wouldn't stop teasing her about it all day. Yesterday she had been spared their reaction because she had off, but today they let her have it. Most of them still thought it was a joke. Having all male coworkers definitely had a downside.

Otori shook his head at their behavior. The frontline customers and those waiting for their takeout looked over in curiosity. "She's the new Daishukujo?" the woman in the honeymoon phase repeated, finger wrapped in a noodle, ready to feed it to her just as curious boyfriend. Ayame smiled modestly and gave a friendly wave. Kakashi would be proud.

"Seriously? No way!" someone said from outside the stool area. Ayame could not see their face thanks to the red lanterns. "Hey! Check out the new Daishukujo! Apparently, she's a chef here!"

Suddenly, faces began to poke through the bamboo flaps hanging from the sides of the bar.

"The Ramen Girl?"

"She's pretty, mama!"

"I can hardly believe it. A _cook_?"

"I knew it!"

"I'm totally eating here!"

"How old are you?!"

"She must barely be 20!"

"Age wouldn't matter if she was a _shinobi_."

"When did you meet our Hokage?!"

"I'll get Monday's special!"

Ayame stood there frozen as a crowd began to form in front of Ichiraku's and some of her coworkers came to see what the hullabaloo was about.

"What's happening out here?" Aoi said, fixing his bandana, brows furrowed.

"It seems our customer intake has just increased, thanks to our Ayame-chan," Otori laughed it off but then he noticed Ayame's overwhelmed expression and how she was trying to smile through it all.

She could not do this. She was not like Kakashi. Why did it feel different having all this attention when he was not around? She could do it if he was here—if he was holding her hand. But he was not—she was ignoring him again. He had made her so angry forcing Raiden inside that terrible place and then her father had known about it _all along_. And she wasn't allowed to visit him yesterday.

She did not know she was backing up until the small of her back hit the kettle stove. Otori walked over to her and leaned in. "Maybe you should go home early, Ayame-chan. The boys and I can handle this."

* * *

Kakashi watched from a nearby roof as a crowd formed outside of Ichiraku's.

Ayame had not met him for lunch yesterday or today. She was still upset but at this point he did not know which reason it could be. He had imprisoned her friend and also announced their engagement to her coworkers when he should not have. He did not know.

His eyes easily caught movement from the side of Ichiraku's small building. It was Ayame. She wore a zipped up, pink hoodie all the way up, covering half her face. She kept her head down as she hurried around the crowd in front of her father's business, making sure to keep a great distance from them.

Her attempt at stealth mode worked, though it was beyond him how. The pink hoodie was as blinding at his office chair.

 _I liked you for a reason. I'm sure I still do…_

Kakashi jumped to the next roof and then the next, knowing where she would turn. When she did as he predicted, he smiled. She had said those words before Raiden interrupted them and he had been surprised. But the words were pleasant. It was never terrible to hear someone speak of their fondness for you.

Ayame turned a corner. She was going home but it was early. Maybe she was feeling ill.

The thought troubled him and he decided he'd visit her after all. Administration continued to ask of her for the past two days and he could not tell them they were fighting. It would not be normal so close to their wedding day ( or was it?). He did not know this either. She was the only woman he truly ever had some sort of relationship with and it was not exactly ideal.

Taking the lead ahead of Ayame's pace, he got to the apartment first. He waited outside the door thirteen minutes before she arrived. Her large eyes widened, spotting him.

He went to greet her with the standard wave until he noticed her splotchy face. Kakashi frowned and stepped forward, concerned.

"Are you nauseous?" He thought she was getting better.

She opened her mouth to speak and he was ready to listen but she spun around and darted away. Kakashi stood there for a second, bemused. And then he went after her. Before she reached the stairs to descend, he blocked her path. He grabbed her shoulders before they collided.

"Hey," he spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

And she hugged him.

* * *

It was as if no one had ever hugged the man. Inside her arms, he was completely rigid.

Ayame saw the similarities between Raiden and Kakashi. They were both good men but did not think it. She did not really know either of their pasts and had only heard snippets of Kakashi's because Konoha's tendency to gossip exposed things it should not. But at least Raiden knew how to hug.

If they ever overcame all the insecurities with one another, then she wondered if Kakashi would ever open up to her. Again, she thought of Sakura's utter joy at the idea of her sensei's perceived happiness. Ayame hugged him tighter. "I'm mad at you and otousan."

"You are?" And he legitimately sounded confused. She supposed it was strange being hugged by the person who claimed to be angry at you. Oh but she did not care for his confusion. She needed this.

Ayame nodded in response to his question, nose rubbing into his chest. He smelled so good—like papers and the earth. She could have laughed. She was pregnant with his child and they were both on their way to spending the rest of their lives with one another and _yet_. This was their first hug.

When he began to pull her away without returning the embrace, Ayame wanted to scream and beg him to at least try to be a normal couple—but she let him end their contact. Because they were not a normal couple.

He held her at arm's length—he was always keeping her at arm's length. He had done so for the entire year she crushed on him. He was doing it now. _Why would he just show up at her home one night and do those things to her?_

Suddenly, more frustrated than she had already been all day, Ayame shoved him. Of course he did not bulge—stupid shinobi superpowers—and then she spun around again, hurrying to her apartment door.

"Ayame—"

"I'm mad at you!" she yelled, not even looking back at him as she shuffled with her keys, trying to unlock her door so he could just _go away_.

That night—why had he come over to her house, drunk? He asked to kiss her and then he took off her robe, touching her in a way she had never even touched herself—and then made gentle love to her as if she was the only one in the world. But he had not really loved her. How did anyone do such things without love? Now he could not even hug her. And most of all, there still was no love. Even Yumi had incredible love in her marriage.

This time he did not try to talk when she closed the door on him.

* * *

"I don't know what to do."

Kurenai watched as Kakashi had a pity party and apparently she had been the only one invited. Mirai had lucked out and was sleeping over Naruto and Hinata's tonight.

He was sitting on her sofa and bent at the waist, hands covering his face. For goodness sake—the girl had hugged him and the man had all but pushed her off. He really shouldn't have been surprised she ran him off. Seriously.

Kurenai tried not to roll her eyes but failed. "Do you even do stuff for her?"

Kakashi straightened. "I give her what I can, what I should."

"What you can or should is not what I'm talking about."

"What..." He was confused and when he got like this Kurenai could not help but remember the boy from decades ago. The one who lost everything and everyone that mattered and did not know how to accept love. Eventually, he relearned how to with team seven but romantic love was different. And now he would be a father—

She threw her hands up, exasperated. "Woo her! Kakashi, give her flowers, buy her things, whisper sweet nothings into her ear!"

He got a little defensive. "I've done those things."

"When?" She demanded.

"...I bought her ginger tea once. And a house."

"Okay. And?"

Kakashi opted for a shrug and Kurenai shook her head. Honestly. He was acting like a pre-teen Kiba right now. She said, "Even though this is arranged, that doesn't mean you can't find joy. Isn't that what Ayame was looking for today?"

He then bore a downcast expression until Kurenai's voice called out to him, gentle. "Hey, Kakashi. Don't you care for her already? That's why you got close to her in the first place, wasn't it?"

"That's a big question."

"Kakashi?"

"I should go."

Kurenai frowned but nodded. "Alright."

* * *

Raiden showed up at Ayame's that same night: She opened the door, thinking it would be Kakashi again but it was not.

"Raiden-kun!" Ayame breathed. Without hesitating, she enveloped him in a tight hug. And he returned it. He always returned her hugs. Everyone she ever hugged always did. Even Yumi. Even Yuu.

"Aya-chan, hey!"

"They let you out?" Ayame was so surprised to see him. So happy! She looked up at him, mid-embrace, toothy grin in place. He could always brighten her day up. When she was younger she used to pray that he would switch places with Yumi. That he would be her sibling and Yumi would be some random shinobi kid that visited _less_.

Raiden returned her grin. "Something like that, kiddo."

"That's great!" She hadn't even gotten around to pestering Kakashi about it yet, but she supposed it was one less thing they would argue about.

"Have you been crying?" Raiden asked as they released one another. "Is it because of him again?"

She only looked down, because yes, it was because of him. Again.

"Why are you marrying that guy, Aya-chan. The last time I saw you crying was when Yumi used to bully you."

"Oh Raiden-kun. It's a long story." More than ever she wanted to tell one of her loved ones the truth but did not know how to. It was the same with Naruto and especially with her father.

When Raiden touched her shoulders, she looked up. He seemed hesitant—really troubled. Just as he had acted when she tried to get answers out of him back in that holding cell.

"Hey, kiddo. I have to go away now—don't give me that look—and I need you to do something for me."

"You're leaving again? But I thought you were going to live here now!" she cried. Not this too!

"I know, I know. The Hokage—"

"—I'll talk to him!"

"Trust me. It won't work. Plus, it's better this happens."

She threw herself at him again, hugging him. "Don't go!" She just got him back.

"I don't know when I'll be back so here." He did not separate himself from her but simply dug in his pocket and gave her a piece of paper mid-hug. "It's the address of where I'm—was—staying at. I had a roommate—she's new to the village too. I thought you could keep her company. You know, hang out like we usually do. She's a little antisocial but I know she'll like you. Films are the way to go. I know you'll like that."

Ayame blinked, surprised at the load of information. A roommate? Since when? Was that why he never invited her over and insisted they always hang out at her place?

He pulled her into another quick hug. "I wish I could stay longer but I gotta go now."

"Raiden-kun—"

"—Sorry. I'll miss ya, kiddo. Always do." He released her and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead which surprised her. "Take care of your old man. Take care of Haruhi and Soota-chin. And don't let that prick make you cry again."

And then he was gone and Ayame stood on the threshold of her apartment door, wondering why Raiden's goodbye felt so permanent and who Haruhi and Soota-chin were.

* * *

Ayame was a woman on a mission. On her lunch break, she went to the address written on the slip of paper Raiden gave her the night before. It was an apartment complex similar to hers and not too far. No one answered when she knocked so she went back to work. She tried to get answers from her father but he would not talk. Four o'clock came around and her shift ended. She visited the address again.

No answer.

Having failed her self-given mission, Ayame slumped down. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't really get answers if the ones with answers weren't home. And Ayame really didn't want to ask her father about it since she was mad at him too.

And then there was Kakashi.

It was a little insane, and she _was_ feeling a little crazier than usual, but she showed up at the Tower. Kaede greeted her nicely for a change. The older lady hadn't seen her in a while and told her to go ahead—that the Hokage was probably alone in the office right now. _Perfect_ , Ayame thought.

Kaede had been right. As soon as Fuko-san opened the door for her there was no one there and Kakashi glanced up from a scroll thing he was reading. He did a double take, obviously not expecting her.

As soon as the ANBU guard closed the door, she demanded, "Where is Raiden-kun?"

He sighed that heavy sigh and she wanted to scream but kept it together. "That information is classified."

"I won't tell anybody." She was madder than she was yesterday at him. It was like they could not be anything but upset at one another. She wondered if this was all worth it. At this point she did not care if the whole village found out she was pregnant and thought she was a whore. The hormones did not help.

"I'm sorry." But he did not sound sorry.

"He's _my_ friend!" She balled her fists, incredibly worried she would never see Raiden again. He had seemed so off last night. And her father wouldn't tell her anything. _He was her oldest friend._

Kakashi stood and rolled up the scroll he had been reading. "I know that."

Ayame felt her face redden, but not in embarrassment, not anymore. She was enraged. "No you don't. Just stop it!"

Kakashi quickly covered his surprise by narrowing his eyes. She felt bad about yelling at him but— _but she needed answers._

Ayame's hands balled up into fists at her side. "Stop it, Kakashi-sensei. You don't have to be so patronizing. Not to me. I...I don't think I deserve that. And I know maybe it's like a defense mechanism and you do it when you think a little kindness or a sarcastic joke is all people need and sometimes I think that's sweet but _not_ right now. Don't. Just _don't_."

He didn't try to cut her off or correct her and she wished he would. _She wished he would_. But he was listening. He was listening with an intent that only a genius of his caliber could.

"I—I like you," she said out loud. "I admire you. You don't have to pretend with me. I'm go—going to be your wife and I know it's in name only and because of the baby, but I like you. So if you could just believe that, if you could understand it, just trust me a little. Trust me to be honest with me. If you're annoyed, ge—get mad at me. _Talk to me_!"

He stayed quiet when she finished and maybe she'd gone too far. Too intimate. Too deep. Maybe she had broken whatever pretend role he'd given her, to make things less complicated, to make everything easier for himself and the village _and it was always about the village and that was okay but what about love?_

And then he spoke, hesitantly, carefully. "It's not...that simple, Ayame."

She held her own. "Yes, it is." She was sure he would be just as fierce if not more if it were about team seven.

His brows furrowed and he must have frowned, the outline of his lips turning down through the mask. "No," he said finitely and Ayame felt herself square up, rage unforgotten. Why was he being so bullheaded?

* * *

" _Yesitis_!" She argued with him. Her hands went to her abdomen unconsciously, as if protecting the baby from their verbal dispute. His eyes followed the movement. His child was in there. _His child._

Yes, he was annoyed. Gravely, in fact. He did not think this was completely about Tanako Raiden either. They were always fighting and he could not do anything right by her. He was more upset at himself honestly.

But he had always done well enough composing himself, as a shinobi and especially when he'd become a sensei. After the death of his first team, Kakashi shut down all unnecessary emotions to make sure any future teamed mission became a success. The tactic had been useful for ANBU. Later, his students had needed him to be composed. As messed up as they had all been, himself included, he had had no choice. He hadn't minded it. It helped him. It helped them.

And now, as Hokage, he had to think of the village and everyone in it, including Ayame. She was a civilian, but now she was a civilian pregnant with _his child_ and was to be _his wife._

And of course one of her closest friends had to be a missing rogue from Ame. _Of course._

Ayame paced the room, throwing her hands up every so often for dramatic effect. He watched her lips move. She was talking and talking and, _my God_ , he just wanted to kiss her so she would shut up. She didn't know what she was saying. Yes, he had been an idiot for not returning the embrace—and sure, he could have handled the Raiden situation differently. Kakashi would not like it if she had treated team seven like that (nor would she ever because Ayame was Ayame).

Yes. He abused his power, alright, but she had— _she had started it.  
_  
She was going to be his Daishukujo. She could not be seen frolicking around with other men, especially with Ame rogues. She was engaged to the kage of a village. She was engaged to _him_.

He walked around the desk and she began stuttering as he approached her. Her lashes fluttered and bottom lip wobbled, trying so hard not to cry. He knew she was in love with him. And sure, he was aware of how she'd stare and be extra sweet to him this past year, even after he had all but ignored it. He had taken advantage of her love and he could not blame it on a few cups of sake anymore.

He remembered everything from that night. He remembered how precious she looked in her formal kimono and how teasing she'd been dancing with him—how hopeful she had been when she pressed her pink, _pink_ lips against his cheek. Yes, he remembered. My God, did he ever.

He also recalled how he had followed her home, more curious than he ever should have been. In the back of his mind, he knew she would not deny him if he said the right things, if he touched her just right. It was despicable and sad, really. He'd nearly laughed when she had apologized after everything, saying that nonsense about taking advantage of him. He'd barely had three cups and she thought he'd thrown his inhibitions to hell.

Kakashi wondered, not for the first time, if she really thought so little of herself. And _look_ , now she was bringing that up, again. It always came up. That night was the bane of their existence. He needed to put a stop to the endless disagreement on that specific night. He thought he would enlighten her.

"I wasn't drunk." He was close, so close to her. Cherry almond enveloped his senses.

She sputtered. "Wh-what?"

"I wasn't drunk," he said again, offhandedly, as if he were commenting on the weather.

She raised her trembling chin up in defiance. "You smelled like sake."

His hands found their way to her small waist, pulling her close. She gasped so softly and it reminded him of another time when she had gasped multiple times, softer still. Her hands went up to his forearms, steadying her balance. As if he would let her fall.

He leaned down, pressing his lips against the skin behind her ear. "A sip of sake could even make your virgin mouth taste like alcohol for hours."

She pushed herself away from him. He let her. He tried to ignore the ache in his sternum. At any rate, he deserved it. He deserved for her not to want to touch him. She crossed her arms, and he assumed, now subdued. She whispered, "Why are you telling me this?"

Why, indeed.

He sighed. "Ayame. You're a beautiful woman. And I'm a stupid man." He held up a hand when she tried to say something. She scowled at his silencing gesture, probably more annoyed she heeded it without thinking. He spoke before she started to say what she intended to. "Please. I think you should go home. Yugao."

Yugao morphed out of the tiles, bowing with a fist to the floor. "Hokage-sama."

"Please assist my fiancé home. She's not feeling well."

"Yes, milord." Yugao turned to Ayame, in the same bow form. "Ayame-sama."

Ayame's crossed arms tightened around herself. She glared. "You don't have to be so formal with me anymore, Yugao-san."

Her lowered gaze met Kakashi's, unrestrained fury very present. Kakashi held his breath.

"You don't have to call me that anymore because _I will not be marrying your precious Hokage_." She turned on her heel and left.

* * *

Early that night Ayame cried herself to sleep and Kakashi continued to be Hokage.

He continued to be Hokage when he had Yugao follow Ayame home and continued to be Hokage when he had Shikamaru take over documentation for the rest of the day so he could rearrange area eighteen. With chidori.

Sorely unsatisfied, Kakashi made his way back to the Tower, politely nodding at the casual passerby.

"Good evening, Hokage-sama!"

"Good evening."

"Taking a late night stroll, I see, Hokage-sama."

"Yes, goodnight."

"Congratulations, Hokage-sama!"

"Thank you."

"Yo, Kakashi." Pause. "You look like hell."

"Hey, Genma."

"Ay yo, Kaka-I mean, Hokage-sama!"

A nod.

"Where's ya _purrty laaaadyyy_ , Kashi-sama?"

"Go home, you're drunk."

Bow. "Have a good night, milord."

Another nod. "Madam."

At the last possible second, Kakashi took a right instead of a left. Why so nervous? He would just ask her if she was serious about not becoming the Daishukujo. If she was, he'd have no choice but to let her go. He thought he could force her—but he could not. Not anymore. To him, she had stopped being the "Ramen Girl" a long time ago, long before the Uzumaki wedding.

The Fire Daimyo and the elders would be disappointed, and then when they would see her belly grow—well. Kakashi did not really want to think about the repercussions. People were starting to find out who exactly the Daishukujo was. He could handle himself, but he wondered if Ayame was capable of withstanding the sort of scrutiny others were capable of.

Thoughts of his father crossed his mind.

* * *

Ayame woke up dreaming about pickles. Rubbing her puffy eyes, she crawled out of bed, keeping the quilt over her shoulders. Why was February so cold! She shivered.

Did she even have pickles? She really hoped so. Sour, vinegary cucumbers. Her mouth watered, already anticipating the sour, crunchy taste.

She opened the fridge. Yes. One left in the jar. Oh this was perfect. She noticed the half eaten tomato and resolved to also eat that—drenched in vinegar, of course. She grabbed the glass bottle of vinegar, along with a small bowl and knife to cut the half eaten tomato. Her fingers would do fine in place of a fork. She wondered if this was healthy for the baby.

The baby.

Ayame slowly put the snackage on the two-seater. Her hand slid down to her lower tummy. There wasn't really a bump just yet. Her tummy felt harder, as if an internal wall had been built just behind her skin. She wasn't a kunoichi with tight, attractive muscles on the planes of her stomach, nor did she jog nearly enough to ever garnish tight abs. Or a tight anything for that matter. So feeling a hard abdominal region was new. Ayame slowly smiled, letting her other hand join her tummy, pulling her nightgown tight across her midriff.

If she looked close enough, maybe yeah, she could see a little bump forming. Barely. Her mind was probably making it up since she knew it was there. The idea of it simultaneously thrilled and terrified her all at the same time. A baby. She was going to be a mother.

Ayame snapped to attention at the shuffle outside her kitchen. "Yugao-san?" The ANBU kunoichi was always so quiet, Ayame was surprised to hear her making noise in the apartment.

"Sorry to disappoint." She heard Kakashi's voice before she saw him. He stepped into the kitchen, light illuminating his uniform clad body. He wore standard shinobi trousers and a sleeveless under armor fitted tight across his chest. What stood out most were the pink scratches that ran up and down his forearms, gloves in pieces. It also looked like he had been sweating (in this weather?), certain parts of his muscle shirt wet. His hair had even lost its oomph and hung flat.

She almost asked what happened but quickly remembered how upset she was at him. So she ignored him and sat down. She began arranging her snacks, cutting the tomato into cubic shapes. He just stood there, making her feel guiltier the more she disregarded his presence in the kitchen.

She bit her lip when he joined her at the table and decided to pour the vinegar in the bowl. "You don't have to—" She cut herself off, meeting his gaze. She hadn't meant to speak. Dang it. He raised an eyebrow, amused. He pulled his mask down, reached across to pluck a piece of tomato from the cutting board and promptly ate it.

Her mouth watered. She frowned. He smirked and she silently continued to finish cutting the tomato. She glanced at the doorframe, wondering what Yugao thought of the late night visit. Ayame blushed. What if she thought that they—before marriage—well they had but not-

"I sent her off."

Ayame reddened. He always knew what she was thinking. "People are already talking."

"Yes, people have a tendency to do that."

"You being here doesn't help," she accused, glaring at her pickle. She reached for it and took a big bite, chewing. Wow. _So good._ She couldn't remember ever enjoying a pickle so much.

"I am sure my ANBU aren't the progenitors of the 'talking' that's going around." As an afterthought, he added, "They are sworn to secrecy. On penalty of death, actually."

Ayame gapped and Kakashi passed her an eye crinkle. She flung him a tomato cube. He caught it with his mouth, chuckling. He grabbed her half eaten pickle, took two bites and basically swallowed what he bit after three chews. Her lips curled in disgust.

"Want the rest?" He offered the half eaten cucumber.

"No, thank you," she mumbled, starting on the tomato cubes. She poured them in the vinegar bowl. He finished the pickle while she ate the tomato pieces. Why was he here? She doubted it was to eat her food. She glanced up at him and when she saw he was staring, glanced away. Why was he acting so weird? She had always known he could just come in (because ninja derr) but he had never actually done it. And he was being nice and not self-depreciating for a change.

Feeling satisfied, at least in her tummy, Ayame stood and he followed after her. She didn't acknowledge his assistance as he grabbed the snackage remains. When she emptied the pickle jar, he began to wash the utensils. "You don't have to do that," she said.

He gave her a "really" look and continued to wash the cutting board. Ayame tried not to sigh and went to the bathroom to wash her mouth and hands. She also grabbed her robe, attempting to look more modest, leaving the quilt behind in the room. She came back to see him drying cut up hands.

"What happened to them?" she finally asked. He looked at her and then his hands. She looked away, oddly embarrassed.

"I was training."

"O-okay." Of course that was why his hands were cut up.

"Ayame, look at me."

She held her breath. She didn't look at him.

She heard him sigh. He tossed the towel on the counter and she heard him make his way towards her. She gave herself credit for not stepping back. He could be so intimidating sometimes, especially earlier when he had been upset and pressed his lips behind her ear.

"Do you really want to end the engagement? I need to know."

For Kakashi, the question actually sounded pretty demanding, and it made her pause. Ayame allowed a nod. She looked at him when he exhaled roughly, different from his usual, perpetual sighing. He ran his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated. She stared. She'd never seen him like this.

"I can understand you being upset, but to renounce the engagement—"

"I hugged you."

* * *

She said this very softly, but he still heard. He still heard her. And then he understood. He examined her thoughtfully—her hair askew, pieces of it falling out of her braid, nightgown raffled, eyes swollen from sleep and tears. Her eyes lowered again, delicate features subdued. Sad.

And Kakashi understood. "And I didn't respond to you."

Her lip wobbled. "Yes," she breathed. Her eyes met his, dark on dark.

He reached forward, taking her trembling hands in his. He knew she didn't mean for him to hear, but her quick inhalation made him pause. These next words were important, yes, but to her—they could mean more. He had known for months how she felt and it was about time he considered her feelings and not the pregnancy.

 _Sensei use to look at Kushina-san like that._

She 'liked' him, huh.

"I want to marry you, Ayame. I want to look at you the way you look at me."

She was crying. "But can you?"

He brought her hands around his waist and he completed the embrace with his arms around her slender shoulders. "I'm learning to."

* * *

 _How should we like it were stars to burn_

 _With a passion for us, we could not return?_

 _If equal affection cannot be,_

 _Let the more loving one be me._

 _-W.H. Auden, 'The More Loving One'_


	10. The Ichiraku Family and New Friends

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Man! I am loving these long reviews. Woot woot! Also, this chapter is eh. I tried.**

* * *

The Ichiraku Family and New Friends

* * *

Immigration was on its way to be an organized orchestration, the mountain was approved for future census-based construction (because the census was finally complete) and by now Raiden and Sasuke were probably deep into the heart of Ame's underworld. And so today's workload had practically done itself and there was nothing to occupy him but a pretty little ramen chef who'd recently developed a penchant for occupying space in his thoughts. All this without trying, really. And now she occupied his lunches too.

Whatever misguided merit he had earned with her in the past returned despite his momentary inability to control his lust.

Today's lunch was a picnic and they had company for a change. It was Friday afternoon and Ayame was holding a paper ball, chased by Soota. Kakashi watched from under the large oak tree at the back of the Academy, an ageless swing its counterpart. Soota was a two year old boy with bleach blonde hair and wide green eyes and too many freckles to count. He was like Mirai and had boundless supplies of energy. And incredible chakra.

His young mother, painfully younger than Ayame and even Sakura, stood to the side with a gentle smile, Soota's sippy cup and cornflakes in hand. She was very fair and had long black hair, similar to Hinata. Haruhi was her name and she also watched Soota and Ayame dart from one end of the yard to the other. Sometimes she would play with them but like Kakashi she was content observing the two hyperactive humans, thoroughly entertained with the banter between a twenty three year old and a two year old.

Ayame now behaved as before, with long glances and accidental touches. This time around he did not pretend as if he did not notice her peculiar inclinations towards him. He would allow himself to return her sporadic, short embraces. The times were not frequent but she liked to hug him since he had initiated the first real hug weeks ago. He would meet her shy glances curiously and not pretend to see pass them anymore. And now she would look at him—without anger.

And he understood why she could not before. Despite his past inappropriate behavior, her romantic feelings had not changed. And if she would have looked at him when he thought she should have, he would have known. She had not wanted that. He understood that now too.

Kakashi chuckled to himself when Soota fell on his face and both young women hurried to his side, worried. He jumped back up, completely unharmed, and took Ayame's closeness as an opportunity to steal the paper ball—sneaky brat. Ayame chased after him, pretending a pace as if the small child was too fast. He smiled at her antics.

The day after Kakashi made amends with Ayame, he took her to Haruhi-san's place of employment. It was a small daycare not too far from Ichiraku's. During New Years, Teuchi had vouched for Haruhi and the daycare owners did not hesitate to take the girl in, sans legal papers. Ichiraku Teuchi was a well-respected artisan, esteemed by all and people did not usually deny him favors.

Kakashi brought Ayame to the daycare, because she had complained no one was home the day before, and introduced the two young women. Haruhi had been pleased to finally meet Ayame and Ayame had been equally pleased to meet the younger woman. She had also been surprised Haruhi had a two year old at the age of sixteen. The boy had taken to Ayame quickly, as most everybody did. Weeks later, Ayame was invested wholeheartedly in the younger woman and the boy. She was constantly spending time with them when she could, helping the newly registered citizens of Konoha. He did not mind it. Ayame was incredible with others. She would be a good Daishukujo.

Kakashi had never answered her question about Raiden's whereabouts, and to her credit she did not ask again after the hug, but he supposed befriending Haruhi was enough of an answer for her. The mute sixteen year old mother was enough of an explanation.

Kakashi blinked when Soota began to cry because Ayame needed some rest and had told him so. She tried to calm the boy with words but he would not stop. Haruhi frowned, walked over and picked the boy up. She brought him to a corner of the yard and signed with her hands. Ayame looked over in curiosity as Kakashi did too. The boy understood his mother's gestures, of course. It seemed a silent reprimand was more efficient than a verbal one.

Ayame walked over to Kakashi and plopped down next to him. "I'm so thirsty!" she cried.

Kakashi silently handed her bottled water. She opened it and took large gulps. Ayame did not work today and she had cooked today's lunch, much to the disappointment of administration who was set on spoiling her. Today she wore an overall dress with a long sleeved shirt underneath. It was March but it was still cold for those who could not use chakra to warm themselves and she had on white stockings. She used them often, he noticed. There were no braids today and he was glad. Sometimes she looked too young when her hair was in braids but today it was up in a high ponytail. It was still so thick it fell like a dark waterfall on her back.

"Where are the pickles, pickles—ah! Here!" Ayame mumbled to herself as she dug through the lunch basket. She took out a pickle jar and happily opened it, munching away. She offered him one, not even looking over, completely enraptured and overtaken by her cravings. Kakashi smirked and took the donation from her fingers.

Ayame had not brought up the extent of his sobriety the night he took her and it confused him. She was not mad like he thought she would be, or should be. But she was as before the Uzumaki wedding—flirting, doe-eyed. It was confusing.

He knew one of the major reasons she predominately felt guilt was because she thought he had been very drunk. That she had taken advantage of him. But now that she knew it was not so maybe she did not feel as though she wronged him anymore. He was glad for it but he did not know where that left him. He felt the same as before. But she did not.

Regardless of the new development, she was still two months pregnant and the wedding was just around the corner.

* * *

Ayame stretched, leaving the bridal boutique. Those women poked and prodded parts of her body she did not know could be measured. How many kimonos had they fitted her in? Ayame had lost count. Apparently the Daishukujo went through three kimono changes…

The wedding was so close (two weeks!) and she did not know much about it. Her uncles' wives thought it strange but she assured them it was being taken care of. It was supposed to be a very formal event. As per Kakashi, the Fire Daimyo's people and Konoha elders were planning it—and then he had shrugged, unsure of the details himself.

It was supposed to be a surprise and although Ayame always thought she would plan her own wedding, it was out of her hands. And it seemed it was out of Kakashi's too. The Hokage had to please a lot of people in certain circumstances and it seemed this was one of them.

But at least she could decorate her own house. The house was close to the Tower but was not finished and she wondered if two more weeks were enough time. She was sure everyone would figure something out.

Ayame turned a busy street corner and had to pause, seeing a familiar face.

Menrui Yuu stepped out of an alleyway, probably disposing of expired goods. He wore the burgundy cap and apron his family's bakery was known for. Having always been a stalky young man, he filled the uniform out nicely. His light hair was tied neatly into a short ponytail at the nap of his neck. That was new.

She had already stopped walking when he for whatever reason glanced left at her. His brown eyes blinked in surprise.

"Aya?"

Ayame tried to smile. "Hey, Yuu. How are you?" Her heart raced. She had not seen him in a long time—maybe a year? She had not really thought of him often—especially not with all that was happening.

Yuu smiled and revealed familiar pearly white teeth. "I'm really good. How's living on your own?"

Ayame's polite smile lessened. "Oh—normal. How did you know that?"

Yuu shrugged, rolling his eyes. "The grapevine."

"Konoha."

"Konoha."

They chuckled a bit, a little awkward at the automatic reminiscence. Whenever crazy things would happen, they used to both look at one another and respond the village name to whoever said it first in sarcasm.

Yuu stepped closer, putting his hands behind his back, messing with the strings of his apron. It was a bad habit he used to do when he was nervous. She did not blame him. She was a little nervous too, talking with him so casually when they had not parted well. But it had been so long, and the past was the past.

"How have you been?" He asked sincerely and she remembered the boy she went to school with. It was a long time ago now.

She forced her smile to widen. "I've been busy." It was not a lie.

He shifted weight from one leg to another. She copied him, jittery. "Yeah it's...it's funny you say that, Aya. I heard the craziest thing!"

"Yea?" She wanted to match his energetic ability to pretend that it was okay to talk like this, but frankly it was a little exhausting. She thought of Kakashi. He was able to play it cool in any awkward situation—he was like the master of evading all things awkward through sheer sarcasm alone. Ayame was not cool enough to even attempt to copy the Rokudaime.

Yuu laughed a bit and then fiddled with his apron some more. He looked up, above her, not able to look her in the face. "Yeah, uh, I heard the Hokage was engaged with a civilian." And then his gaze fell on her. "And I heard it was you—well, the Ramen Girl but that's you...crazy, right?"

She had not thought of this. Why did it feel strange having Yuu ask that out loud? He would forever be the boy who broke her heart years ago. She had cried for months and months and her father had not known what to do. Even Yumi had been kind to her during that difficult time. And now Yuu was asking her about Kakashi. It was just _weird—_ like he had no right knowing her business. But clearly, becoming the Daishukujo was everybody's business.

"Aya?"

"I...I have to go," she mumbled and began to leave. He made to follow her. Seeing it, she stopped really quick, forcing him to stop so he would not bump into her. "What are you doing?" She asked, suddenly out of breath.

What did he think he was doing?

His hand was stretched out, as if he was going to grab her. Their gazes went from his outstretched hand to one another. He looked just as shocked as she that he had reached for her. That he had made to grab her, to stop her for—for what?

He stepped back, confusion in his eyes and she could not believe it. He was married to Tomoe the cobblers daughter and he was going to what— _chase after her_? She frowned and slowly turned around, keeping her eyes on his hands until the last possible second. And then she hurried away.

She was supposed to meet Haruhi and Soota-chin to watch a movie. Lunch had been so fun earlier, sans Soota's tantrum, she and Haruhi had agreed on a movie. It was Friday after all! Ayame shrugged Yuu's weird behavior off. The movie would be awesome!

* * *

Kakashi stretched, leaving Tsunade's house. The woman did not ask him but rather told him he and Ayame would be going on a trip—a honeymoon. The Godaime did not take no for an answer and all he could manage to do was reduce three weeks into two.

Since he would be absent from his duties she would act as the active Hokage again, until he returned.

He was not sure how Ayame would take it. She was very friendly with him lately, like before, but the insinuations of a honeymoon compared to those of sporadic hugging and hand holding were not the same.

* * *

They sat on the park swings behind her apartment complex.

"A honeymoon?" Her face was already pinker than Sakura's hair and one would think she had never been touched before.

"Yes. I tried to dissuade the Godaime but couldn't. I'm sorry to put you in an awkward position."

Ayame shook her head. He was always apologizing. "Awkward, huh? I mean, it would be strange if we didn't take one, right? People will talk."

"That is true."

She crossed her hands on her lap and stopped swinging. They had just finished eating a light dinner she cooked up when Yugao told her earlier that Kakashi was to come. She had been at the theater with her new friends and had told the ANBU to let him know to come with an appetite. She had thought it was just another friendly visit, and it was, but this was information that shouldn't have surprised her but did.

Of course they would be expected to have a honeymoon. This was the Hokage—the cornerstone of their village. The man with all the answers. Uzumaki Naruto's teacher—the famous Hatake Kakashi that had it all together. And she was just the Ramen Girl. How could _she_ help him in any way lead a village? The most she could do was smile and play along with all the wedding stuff. Which she had obviously failed to do with Yuu earlier.

"You're so intimidating." She did not mean to say it out loud but there it was.

"Intimidating..."

He seemed surprised and it annoyed her a little bit. She decided to be honest. "You're Hokage, and before that you were Hatake Kakashi, and I have always been the Ramen Girl. People know it. I know it." Yuu knew it too that was why he had called it crazy—why he couldn't believe it. If Yuu had not wanted her years before, why would a village— _why would Hatake Kakashi_?

"That's perception, Ayame. You are more than your station."

"Are you more than your station?"

His eyes narrowed, pivoting his body more towards her on his swing, watching her carefully. "I'd like to think so, yes."

"But you're the Hokage!" How could anybody be more than that?

"Yes, I am."

"And when I'm next to you, I'm just the Ramen Girl." Her tone was not very frustrated but resigned. "I know...I know I'm more than that. I'm a chef. A daughter. A friend. But for some reason, when I'm next to you, all I see is the Ramen Girl. That's what I am." Everyone had always called her that the day she started copying her father in the kitchen. Yumi had been smart to move far away with a man that had nothing to do with low income businesses.

"Ayame..."

"That's what the village sees. And they deserve more." She carefully rose from the swing and went inside. The village deserved more than a Ramen Girl who couldn't keep it in her pants. He could not deny her that reality, no matter what he said.

Ayame folded socks, solemn. Having discussed her frustrations out loud somehow made them more real—especially with the wedding so close. Two weeks! And then there was that get-together with the family, so they could formerly meet Kakashi…

Ayame looked over at him. Earlier when she walked away, Kakashi had wordlessly followed her. Now he made himself comfortable next to her. He was not upset that she had gotten distressed. He never really got upset, except that one day in the office when she had sort of been crazy and demanded him to tell her where Raiden was.

Today had been their first argument in a while, although this time it was different. She had not yelled and he followed after her—he was doing that a lot and she did not mind.

Kakashi paired a black stocking with a white one. She smiled lamely at his antics. "You don't have to help me with my laundry."

"I should practice the domestic lifestyle since I'm stuck with you."

She laughed and threw one of her dresses at his face. She missed of course which only made both of them chuckle. She tried to throw another but he pulled the basket away from her reach which caused her to have another fit of laughter. After a few attempts of trying to grab it from him, and failing, she crossed her arms and pouted. He frowned and then pushed the laundry basket back to her. She beamed and threw a blouse at him. It also missed. She gapped at her misfortune—he was literally three feet away from her! He had to look away, shoulders shaking with suppressed amusement.

"I know you're laughing."

"What—no," he said but did not look at her, breathless.

"I know you are!" she said. He snorted but had the audacity to shake his head while still turned away from her. He was definitely laughing at her. Oh it was on.

Fifteen minutes and an explosion of clothes later, their laughter died down. They sat on the floor in her tiny living room and resumed folding. Her hair was askew and he had a sock in his. He grabbed one of the dresses she had thrown and placed it neatly back in the basket.

"The village does deserve more," he prompted suddenly.

Her smile faltered.

Kakashi's steady gaze met her cautious one. "Show them how much more you can be." He grabbed her hand, surprising her. He gently pried the socks she had been combining out of her hand, setting them aside. "If you're willing."

Ayame scooted closer to his reassuring presence, not quite thigh to thigh. She was listening.

"I won't always be able to, but I'll teach you some of the politics. Others will help."

Ayame chewed at her lip. "Others?"

"Would you feel more at ease with only one other?

"I think so."

Kakashi nodded. "I'll have it arranged by tomorrow." As if just getting the idea, he added, "I think I'll have Naruto attend the sessions, too." She squirmed, excited at the possibility. He smirked, thumb tracing lines on her palm. "You'd like that?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Thank you."

"There is one thing." He started carefully. "As the Daishukujo, Ichiraku's can no longer take precedence over the village. Can you understand that?"

"Otousan..."

"Teuchi is a wise man."

"I'll...talk with him."

* * *

He could already see the uncertainty formulating in her expression. She slowly pulled her hand out of his and brought it to her chest. At least she did not scoot away. "You can still help."

"I know." She wasn't looking at him and grabbed the blouse from earlier. She fiddled with its embroidered edges.

"You don't have to do this."

"I _want_ to. I want to learn and be better. I guess this is just a minor setback." She tried to copy one of his reassuring eye crinkles and he smiled. He reached over and ruffled her hair. She blushed and took it upon herself to make their thighs touch. He waited for it and then she leaned closer, wrapping her arms around his waist. He lifted his arms a bit to give her proper access. She pressed her nose into his chest.

She was incredible with others. He knew she was enough as she was for Konoha but she did not see it that way. If she learned some new things about the village, about the politics, then maybe she would feel more confident. He did not know if it would work but he did not want her to think she was not good enough. He could not stand around and let her feel that way.

"You'll do great."

* * *

But she didn't do very great. Ayame was not the sharpest weapon in a shinobi's pouch.

She sat side by side with Naruto on a large wooden table, surrounded by ceiling high shelves teaming with scrolls, books, and papers. Apparently, the Tower had a private library. It was her third lesson that week and Kakashi had yet to be the one to instruct her. Nara Shikamaru was her teacher instead, the young man who had accompanied her when she had been introduced to the elders.

Ayame straightened her pink jell pen next to her pinker notebook. The pink fuzz ball at the tip ruffled at the movement. Shikamaru had been talking for a while now and her eyes must have glazed over ten minutes into the lesson. Did Kakashi have to learn all this when he became Hokage? Or given how much everybody spoke about how smart the man was, maybe he already knew the information?

Thirty minutes in, Naruto opted for throwing tiny paper balls when Shikamaru's back was towards them. Ayame was really trying not to think about what the guys were up to at Ichiraku's but failed. Had the shop burned down? She had barely worked the past few days. The wedding preparations and these new lessons took a lot of her time. And sometimes she would still feel sick. Later today was the family thing too—there was so much going on!

When Naruto threw another ball and actually landed in his hair, Shikamaru spun around. "Really, Naruto?"

She tried not to laugh. She used her notebook to cover her face.

"Ayame-nechan thinks it's funny."

She gasped behind the notebook and told him to shut it, only moving her mouth. Haruhi would be proud. Naruto laughed. Shikamaru sighed and ignored them, turning back to the blackboard.

"Therefore, the Fire Daimyo…"

" _Psst! Psst!_ "

Ayame looked over, wide eyed at Naruto. He was going to get them in trouble! Although, Shikamaru seemed like he _really_ didn't care what they did.

"I'm so happy I have someone to learn all this stuff with. Apparently sensei thought it would be good to prepare like a billion years before actually passing the mantle."

She nodded, glancing at Shikamaru.

"Your wedding is so close!"

She nodded again as Naruto's huge grin nearly blinded her. And then his grin suddenly turned into a frown and she found her mouth mirroring his. She never wanted Naruto to be sad.

"Sasuke won't be there, apparently."

That caught her attention. "He won't?" It was not the most conventional marriage but it was still a wedding and Kakashi's students would be expected there—all three of them. Unfortunately, Kakashi said Raiden would not be able to attend either. He did not even know when he would return. At least Haruhi and Soota-chin would be there in his place.

Naruto's pout deepened and he rested his chin in his hand. "I think so. He's been gone since last month."

"Is he still…on a journey?" She remembered Naruto complaining about it before in passing, missing the Uchiha greatly.

Naruto exhaled softly, eyes looking past her. "This is more like a mission, but I guess he's still on that journey in his heart."

Ayame reached over and rubbed Naruto's back. "He'll come back."

Naruto beamed at her love tap and whispered loudly, "You're the best, nechan!"

Shikamaru spun around again. "You don't know how to whisper, Naruto. You might as well talk normally!"

* * *

Kakashi sat in the living room of the Ichiraku household, watching through double glass doors as dozens of little, bundled up boys ran around in a spacious backyard. All their fathers, the Ichiraku men, were barbecuing and taking turns illustrating long, knee slapping jokes. The women swarmed in the kitchen, making side dishes and desserts. Ayame was in there somewhere.

Teuchi turned a page of the book he was reading. He sat on the love sofa across from him. "Kakashi, came in so soon?" He asked without looking up from his reading.

"I'm afraid the men in your family are too masculine for me."

Teuchi laughed and looked at him. "They're very excited Ayame is marrying our Hokage."

"So they kept telling me." It was like a family of Narutos. He'd known Ayame had spunk because of Teuchi but he did not know the characteristic extended to the entire family.

"What do you think?"

"You have a big family." And there were mostly men. The women that were there were the men's wives who only bore sons and then there was Ayame and her sister, Yumi. Offhandedly, he added, "It's nice."

Teuchi nodded, putting his book to the side. "We're all close. Ayame and Yumi are my brothers' only nieces so they can be particularly protective."

"They said that too."

"Ever since Yuu, well, of course we've been a bit paranoid. But you're the Hokage. They're all very open to it."

"Yuu?" Kakashi did not know a Yuu.

Teuchi curiously examined him, as if Kakashi not knowing who Yuu was strange. "Menrui Yuu, Ayame's old sweetheart—well, I'm sorry, Kakashi. I may have said too much. I thought you would know."

Kakashi shrugged, playing it cool. "Oh that guy." He did not know who "that guy" was but Kakashi did not have to pretend a tone of dislike. It came out automatically. Ayame's old sweetheart, Teuchi had said.

Teuchi nodded, smiling. "But now she has you and I'm glad. You are a good man." Apparently everyone was set on telling him that.

They continued casual conversation and shared a few more laughs. When Ayame and Kakashi had arrived earlier, the family bombarded them with questions until Teuchi shooed them all away to their designated barbecuing positions. Ayame was probably suffering the women's curiosity in the kitchen.

Thinking of her, Ayame walked into the living room, exhausted. She was working hard in those lessons with Shikamaru, even if she did not think it. And now she was here with a rambunctious family. She almost seemed placid next to some of the Ichiraku clan members. Almost. Kakashi was very aware of how _un_ -placid Ayame could be. She was emotional, temperamental, and corny. But she was honest and brave and always tried to do what was right, even if the results would not be in her favor.

She made her way to where Kakashi was and sat down. Their thighs touched and she even leaned her arm into his. Ever since he acknowledged her feelings and embraced her she had been more as she once was—the glances, the touches—the flirting. He was not good at returning her advances but he never stopped her. And they had not really argued and he was glad for it.

Teuchi chuckled at his daughter's behavior.

"Yumi-nechan is the being so _urgh_."

"Use your big girl words, Ayame."

"Otousan, you _know_ how nechan is."

It also did not take Kakashi long to _know how_ Yumi was. She may have looked and dressed like Ayame, but they were not the same. Not for the first time he wondered what Ayame had told her sister the night Naruto dragged him over to her apartment. He never asked but she had been very upset that night. Despite all the available resources, there were things he simply did not know about Ayame—a jealous sister, an old sweetheart. He was not the only one with a past full of life altering events. It did not matter if she was a civilian and he a shinobi. Hardship and temptation did not discriminate.

Ayame leaned more into his arm and he did not say anything—just felt her.

"Ayame!" Yumi shouted from the kitchen.

" _Nooo_ ," she moaned and he held his laughter. "Doesn't she know I cook for a living? I want to stay here with otousan."

Teuchi raised a brow. "You're sitting with the Hokage."

"I like him too," she mumbled.

She was doing that a lot also. She would casually tell him she liked him since he had embraced her. He did not hate it but it always surprised him. She was so open about it. And all it had taken to trigger this side of her was a promise that he would try to look at her the way she looked at him. He was not sure what he had done much differently since then except let her touch him but they had not had any big disagreements since hug.

He enjoyed her this way, happy. She was not like him. She felt all her emotions and had to express them in a love language of words and touch.

"I'm glad you like him," Teuchi chuckled. "You're marrying the man after all. In a few days, too."

Ayame blushed and blinked up at Kakashi, resting her chin on his shoulder. She gave him a shy smile and he returned it easily. She really did have big eyes.

Teuchi laughed lightly and stood. "I'll leave you two alone. I should check on my brothers and the steaks." The older man mumbled something about "young love" and stepped outside, making sure to close the glass doors behind him.

Ayame giggled beside him, lifting her chin away but not removing herself from his side. "Thank you for coming to our family thing."

Kakashi shrugged. "It was only right I meet them."

She smiled. "That's true. But I'm sure the stacks of paperwork don't do themselves in the Tower. You're the Hokage."

"I am?" His eyes widened. She laughed and nudged his arm with hers. "Oh right. I am."

"You're a mess," she said.

Kakashi chuckled, glad she was not miserable anymore. He had not done much of what Kurenai advised but he could do things like this. For one day Shikamaru and Shizune would not die by themselves at the Tower. They had been happy for him to take a day off before the wedding. They had said it would be practice for the honeymoon (he did not want to think too much about this.)

"Ayame!" Yumi called again from the kitchen and when Ayame did not get up her sister came into the living room.

She saw how Ayame was leaning against him. It was as if she forgot the Hokage and her sister were engaged, Kakashi noted. Yumi smiled tightly and passed Kakashi a quick bow. "Excuse me, Hokage-sama but if I could just have a moment with my sister—if that's alright with you."

Kakashi felt Ayame stiffen next to her and he found it curious. He gave Yumi a polite smile, the sides of his eyes familiarly creasing. "I was just about to step out with her. We are waiting on some friends." It was not a lie.

Yumi opened her mouth and closed it. And then she nodded. With another bow, she returned to the kitchen. Ayame sighed.

"You seem close with her."

She made a face. "The last time we talked she was, well, Yumi."

"Hmm." She may have been referring to the night with Naruto and Hinata.

"Do you have…siblings?" She asked the question cautiously, like she did not want to pry.

He shook his head. "I don't."

Ayame paused, thoughtful. "What about a clan? Usually the village knows all about our Hokages' honorable families, like the Senju and Sarutobi clans."

Kakashi thought about it. "I believe my father's ancestors came from the Land of Lightning. But he was an orphan when he came to the village."

Her bottom lip frowned. "An orphan?"

"There was a lot of war back then."

Ayame's expression fell, touching her flat belly. "Yeah. Even growing up, crazy things were always happening in Konoha." One of those crazy things had killed her mother. A thing with nine tails and eyes possessed with the sharingan.

Kakashi moved his hand to rest on her knee. "You will be a good mother."

He did not know why he said it but he believed it. She was very good with her sister's sons and all her younger cousins and she had been nothing if not excellent with Soota.

Ayame blushed, eyes searching the living room. "You too," she whispered, "—a great father."

With them both properly embarrassed and silent, his hand still there on her knee, she decided to change the topic. "Haruhi-san and Soota-chin should be here any minute," she said, standing up. The warmth her body brought left. She offered a hand and he took it, but he did not really use it for leverage as he stood. His eye caught a familiar mark on the inside of her wrist.

When he did not let go she looked to see where their hands were joined. The tiny keloid looked like a white meteor. He could not help but graze it with the calloused pad of his thumb. It could have easily been an injury from her career as a chef but he knew different.

"Pein did this?"

She blushed lightly, looking at the point of interest. "Oh yeah. I got a piece of plywood stuck in there really good when he shot that ninja missile thing at Choji-san. It looks small but it bled a lot." He remembered how it bled but he did not say it. He had woken up from death with his head on her lap, blood from her wrist having rubbed onto his cheek and down his collarbone.

"You remember that day?" she asked, looking at him with those owl eyes and an intense curiosity. "Crazy, right?"

"Yeah," he simply said and he chuckled when she visibly deflated at his short answer.

"Hm!" She turned her head away with a playful huff, on to him.

He smiled, oddly content to simply be near her. She was such…good company.

She pulled on his hand, examining the pink scar tissues on his fingers. Apparently, it was her turn to examine his scars. His hands were still stiff from overusing chidori. Ever since he lost the sharingan it was not the same. It was not as difficult as before, when he was a chuunin, but he could feel the difference.

Hoping to distract her, he wrapped his hand around her curious one. "Let's go check if those two are on their way."

He was going to marry her. Two years ago, he refused to entertain this, and only out of shame were they now engaged. But none of that changed the fact that they would spend the rest of their lives together, that she would be his, sans pregnancy, sans kage title.

She said he was a good man and it was not that Kakashi thought himself to be particularly bad—not even those he had done life with thought he was bad. But Ayame had never done life with him. She had always been around, yes, at the edge of his lifetime—a passing soul who lived in his village and sometimes served him ramen. She did not know about his past or his mistakes or anything of that nature. She had mostly been a stranger all his life.

And now she wasn't.

* * *

 _All this time you here and I did not see you—_

 _The light of love was magnified in your gaze_

 _Yet I was so blind to it._

 _But today I feel you very deep inside of me._

 _-Marc Anthony, translation of 'Muy Dentro De Mi'_


	11. The Wedding

**I do not own** _ **Naruto.**_

 **So low key/high key I have over 70 followers and like five reviewers –once more dramatically looks over to the sunset from a cliff even though she lives in Florida and there are no cliffs-**

 **Please. Don't mind me. Enjoy this super long, delicious chapter I wrote for y'all.**

* * *

 _The shadowy landscape shifted into a blur of white—and then again darkness. It was the familiar scene of consciousness behind eyelids. He opened his eyes slowly, light swooping into his line of vision like the sun through cracked window blinds, wondering if that would really be the last time he saw his father._

 _Thoughts of Hatake Sakumo faded, and in their place soft features of a woman formed within the light exposed to his visualization. Her eyes were remarkably large. They reminded him of ebony wood, dark and smooth, occasional black trimming bringing a decorative pattern to their depths. Her face was delicate, ending at a small chin, glassy pink petals for lips hovering above it._

 _He found it curious. The seraph would be without blemish—and for a moment she was unspoiled—if her image had not revolutionized and become upside down. Her cheeks too became scraped and dirty. Neither had he known divine entities wept. Clean tear trails emphasized how ashy her face was. It could be ash from fire or debris. It was as if the world had tried to dirty a heavenly thing. It was as if the world had tried to shock the blamelessness right out of her. And she was incredibly shocked, pink mouth turning white and eyes red with irritation caused by smoke in the atmosphere. No matter, he concluded, an unclean seraph was infinitely still a seraph. Also…_

 _Also, she had a strong resemblance to Teuchi's daughter, the Ramen Girl. Incredible._

 _And then Kakashi's heart leapt into his mouth and with it his head off of Ichiraku Ayame's lap._

 _He looked around, heart racing as he sat up faster than his body could make sense of. He had died! His father—_ otousan _. Kakashi was barely registering what had happened when hands were upon him._

 _"Kakashi-sensei!" Choji cried and others called to him too._

 _Kakashi was in a daze. He had died. He patted his chest and arms and then his legs. Everything was intact—actually he had never felt better. When he touched his neck, his fingers became covered in blood. The scent was not his._

 _Despite the others around him, fussing, Kakashi managed to twist from his seated position. And there, within the circle of concerned comrades, sat Ichiraku Ayame. Her arms were slightly extended towards him, palms facing the heavens, as if she were giving praise to God. He must have knocked her hands up when shooting awake. Her pale mouth was set in a small oval—red eyes as surprised as his to see a dead man come alive. She was frozen in place—wrist bleeding on to the debris between them. She was losing color fast._

 _"Ayame-chan," Kakashi said and everyone, including himself, jumped at how casual a freshly resurrected voice could sound. His eyes never disconnected from Ayame's. But her focus on him diminished._

The bamboo curtain lifted slowly inside of the large sanctuary. The first thing he saw was a formerly sitting lap clothed in white and long kimono sleeves covering neatly folded hands. The further the curtain went up, the more white it revealed. Even as her neck was slowly exposed, it had been paled with an excessive amount of traditional powder. And suddenly there was a striking red brushed across a usually pink mouth to perfectly shape feminine lips. The lips were slightly parted and he knew she was nervous. Then there was her small nose and dark eyes, almost feline in the way the coal was used to emphasize their almond shape.

When she saw him straight across from her, she smiled shyly. And then her smile fell and he realized he had not returned it through his mask. She blinked rapidly and tried to find something else to look at but there was only the priest to her right and drones of silent people to the left. Her gaze returned to his, dazed.

He willed himself to relax, trademark smile following soon after. He lifted a hand and waved— _there_. She smiled again, shyer still. It was ironic that a version of her name could mean to murder or wound, yet she was the furthest thing from a shinobi. At least the kind of shinobi he grew up as and _with_. The new generation was different. Killing was not part of the job anymore and it was no longer understandably condoned in most situations. Killing was a last resort—a resort someone like Naruto would never go through with.

—And why in heaven's name was he thinking about work right now?

Ayame went to wave at him too but then quickly put her hand back on her lap, probably remembering the etiquette even though he had completely disregarded it. She had more to prove today than he ever had when the Hokage title was handed to him. She passed him an "oops" expression and he simply shrugged. Her smile widened. Despite her expression and the beauty of the intricate kimono she wore, he could tell she was uncomfortable. In her condition, the layers of clothing would exhaust easily, never mind their audience of both loved ones and noble strangers gawking up at them. The way she sat, and the amount of time they would be sitting for the ceremony, would tire her faster.

The habitual nudge of guilt swirled in his sternum but the still small voice of peace and understanding fought against it. Today did not have enough time within its twenty-four hours to accommodate his guilt. This was about the village. Ayame and he both knew it.

Those allowed into the private ceremony whispered murmurs of approval from seiza positions—his students, friends, the other kages, feudal lords and their wives—but he could not hear them over the sound of the blood in his veins.

He was recollecting what happened almost three years ago—he did not wish to but he was. She sat there across the hall, ornamented into the perfect political bride. Although he felt every masculine element stir within his veins, desire flaring as onlookers took in the bride alongside him, Kakashi _remembered_. He remembered her not as _this_ —but as the young woman who hung on to a dead body for the hour Naruto battled Pein, as the young woman who he resurrected on and bewitched him to ask himself for months and months how it would feel to awake every morning to the image of what she had made him feel.

Yet there was guilt and shame.

Certainly every morning from this day he would have what he once desired years ago. Perhaps if he had been man enough to do something back then, circumstances would have been different and today she could have been smiling confidentially, completely willing despite his titles and even her feelings.

In a different world, she would be confident because she would know his adoration.

* * *

It was the second change of the day: the red kimono. It was not plain like the white one but exotic and intricate with gold designs. Her traditionally styled hair was decorated with a flowery gold ornament that jingled every time she moved. She looked lovely but—it was her wedding day and her breasts were incredibly sore. She was supposed to meet Kakashi out on the roof with the entire village as their audience before the wedding reception started. If that wasn't daunting enough, the seamstress was presently very upset.

"It does not fit as before."

"I'm sorry," Ayame whispered.

The willowy, formerly dressed woman clicked her tongue in disapproval. Every time Ayame saw the woman she was dressed in black. Maybe…it was a fashion statement? Her dark, tightly wrapped hair and deep widow's peak simply added to her regal attitude.

Her plump assistant looked her up and down as Ayame awkwardly stood on the changing pedestal. "Too many snacks perhaps? Honestly what kind of bride isn't mindful of her weight after measuring kimonos? For goodness' sake, it is your wedding night."

Chagrined, Ayame smiled through the embarrassment. She had finally started to gain back her previous weight, and with it, a telling bump on her abdomen and a bigger chest. She had put the under kimono on before the seamstress came into the dressing room with her assistant. It hid everything well enough, she hoped. But the measurements had changed and the red obi was not making her as slim as before. The white kimono had no shape to it. It was bulky and heavy and her tummy had been safely hidden. But the red kimono was different—it was more modern, designed to flatter her figure but the curves the seamstress had aimed to accent had both grown—her breasts and her waist. Her butt was as pronounced as ever—no change there.

Clearly displeased at the new development, the seamstress said, "You will just have to suck it in while we tighten the obi to its limit—"

"No!" Ayame blurted and the two women blinked up at her. "I don't want to be uncomfortable."

The seamstress lifted her chin up, elongating an already lengthy neck. "Daishukujo-sama, you must look your best. That means looking as slim as possible in the uchikake kimono."

"I will feel uncomfortable." They could hurt the baby if they squeezed her belly too tight. Ayame was already worried she had tired her body out too much with the heavy white kimono.

"I insist."

"And I said no."

At the harshness Ayame used, the seamstress's eyes dropped to her abdominal region and narrowed. "Oh my."

Oh _no_.

"I just...don't want to be uncomfortable," Ayame insisted but she was not good at playing it cool. She wasn't Kakashi. "It's been a long day." It was not a lie. Her legs hurt from sitting seiza for so long.

The seamstress smiled politically and came closer to Ayame. "No worries, dear. We will work with what we can."

"Okay," Ayame spoke softly, wishing instead of the two strangers, her mother and sister would dress her up. Her mother would be kind and Yumi would be in one of those rare good moods. They would not be staring at her with narrowed, judgmental eyes like these two women were.

"Do you think they switched out the sake for water?" the assistant said under her breath and the seamstress hushed her, knowing Ayame had clearly heard.

Ayame simply concentrated past them without a word as they fumbled with her clothing. She would not cry. She would be strong—for the village, for her baby. Something like this was bound to happen. It would happen more, as others would begin to find out. If what Kakashi said was true, a lot of sensory shinobi like Naruto and Yugao probably already knew. Maybe many of them, from other villages too, had realized that during the ceremony.

When they finished tying her up in an acceptable, comfortable fashion, the seamstress and her aid extended their hands to help Ayame step down. Ayame ignored their hands and stepped down herself. Without looking at them, she said, "I would like for one of you to call my husband." That sounded _so_ weird. She had a husband now.

The seamstress tried not to but became fretful at the request. "Milady, the Hokage and the village are expecting you to join them out on the Tower in less than ten minutes."

Ayame carefully walked to the window of the room reserved for her in the Tower. She peeked out through the available window's heavy curtain, disregarding everything that had left the woman's mouth.

"I'm waiting." Oh Ayame definitely sounded bossier than she felt. There were suddenly whispers of commands and the assistant hurried out of the room. Ayame coyly glanced over her shoulder at the seamstress. "You can go join the village down there. Tell your friend too. Thank you for your assistance today."

"Bu-but milady, we are to attend to your attire the remainder of the evening."

"That will no longer be necessary." And then Ayame opted for Kakashi's trademark eye crinkle.

* * *

Kakashi stood on the roof in formal haori wear, Hokage hat in hand. It was brought to him after the ceremony so the elders could officially present him to the village as their newly hitched kage. And so he could, as their Hokage, present the new Daishukujo.

"Nervous, my eternal rival?" Gai beamed beside him.

Kakashi glanced down at his first friend. "Something like that."

"You may have beaten me in love, Kakashi, but not for long. Rest assured, we'll go on double dates soon enough."

The idea of going on a double date with Maito Gai was disconcerting and yet completely intriguing. "I'll think I'll take you up on that," Kakashi admitted, picturing what kind of woman would fall in love with someone as…particular as Gai. And then said woman exchanging dialogue with his new wife. Ayame could get along with anyone.

Gai grinned. "I'll ask one of my contacts."

Kakashi almost choked. "One of your—"

"Pardon, Hokage-sama."

He turned to the deeply bowing Yugao. She was dressed nicely, ANBU getup nowhere in sight. "Why, hello there, Yugao-san. You look lovely."

"Thank you, sir. Ayame-sama wishes for your audience. She has terminated the seamstresses' employment. One was to tell you but I took over. Understandably, she was very nervous about confronting you."

Tsunade laughed beside them, easily picking up on the conversation. "Your bride sure wastes no time to exert authority." Koharu and Homura glanced over, curious.

Kakashi chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Is that so?" Little did they know, Ayame was the type of woman that did not tolerate any nonsense and exerting authority on what she believed to be just was not unprecedented. At times she could even be brazen, but she knew how to apologize.

Considering a seamstress's occupation and how closely they worked with the human body, Kakashi developed an inkling of what the elderly women had discovered—something they could not help but sneer at. He imagined Ayame in the changing room, alone and found out.

"I'll be quick."

"Hurry, lover boy," Tsunade called after him. "The village is waiting."

Yugao and Kakashi made their way into the building's rooftop entrance. They started down the spiral of steps and before he could ask Yugao what room, Ayame stood at the base of one of the stairwells. She met him halfway.

The makeup had been changed more naturally and the red kimono seemed lighter than the previous bulky one. The tail of the uchikake sprawled magnificently around her. She must have carried it all on her own. His montsuki and juban pieces were heavy—he could only imagine her formal wear. Her posture was relaxed but he knew she was trying not to cry, bottom lip wobbling as it was. His gaze softened.

She was dazzling.

"Ayame," he said kindly, reaching her at the stairwell. Yugao silently stood to the side, head lowered and back towards them.

"I fired them."

"I know."

" _They_ know."

He nodded once. She truly looked lovely, anxious as she was. This was what hypnotized him every time.

She blushed, glancing at Yugao's back. And then she stepped forward and hugged him. He was ready for it and returned the affection. "I wish I was as strong as you," she whispered. "You're doing great today."

"Hey," he said gently, parting only a little so he could look at her. "You're not so bad yourself."

She giggled halfheartedly and then sobered. "Is the whole village really out there?"

"Oh yeah."

She smiled unwillingly. "Your sarcasm is a little misplaced right now."

"It's a defense mechanism."

Her smile only widened. "You're just trying to make me feel better." Before he could retort with another whimsical phrase, Ayame leaned up and kissed his cheek. He shut up. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

He blinked slowly. Once, at another wedding, she had also kissed the exposed part of his face. "Yeah…"

She grinned up at him. "It's working."

He returned her smile. "I'm glad." He had not done very much. Indulging her was mostly a testament of her feelings, he was sure. His type of humor mostly received eye rolls but she always laughed. Again, he fought against self-depreciating thoughts. He was not as he once was—he only needed to look around to remember the past could no longer define him. But here in front of him was a woman who had, and would, be burdened due to a momentary withdrawal of his past. He was not the man he once was—no—but at times he could be. She had caught him on one of those times. Rather, he had caught her.

Her blush deepened when he dragged a thumb across the edge of her bottom lip, mindful not to ruin the lipstick. "Every day I will try to make you happy."

Her mouth parted, awed by the mildness of his words. "Yo-you will?"

He nodded, again remembering Pein's attack, waking up to her after an unbelievable encounter with his father. Relapses of his past could no longer measure decisions around this woman. Or his child.

He thought of his father again.

"Kakashi…" she named him with such tenderness and called him by no titles. "We're going to be together for…a long time, and I know it's because of…but…if you'll be the only man in my life and I'll be the only woman in yours, then I will do my best to be good to you and the village. I give you my word."

"You have mine as well." With every word she spoke over his life he recalled more and more the imagined seraph. Of course they would not be involved with others in the marriage—anything contrary to that notion had never crossed his mind.

Yugao coughed once. The couple looked over at the bowing ANBU. "Pardon again, Hokage-sama, but everyone is waiting."

Ayame gasped. "Yugao-san?"

Yugao nodded, violet hair swinging from a decorated clip.

"You're so beautiful!"

Kakashi was curious to find a touch of pink coat Yugao's cheeks as she glanced at the new Daishukujo. "Thank you, milady. But today, no one compares to your beauty."

Ayame fanned herself. "Oh my goodness, Yugao! That's so nice!"

"It's the truth."

"You're getting a raise!" Ayame suddenly blurted, hugging the ANBU and Kakashi nearly chocked.

Yugao smirked over Ayame's shoulder at him. "You look pretty today, too, senpai."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the ANBU subordinate. "Nice try."

Ayame released Yugao with carefree laughter, teeth whiter than usual against the red lipstick, worries forgotten. "Alright! Let's go up there. Oh, and another thing…since I fired those two, I have a request. "

"Anything."

Ayame smiled prettily at his habit of indulging her in the small things. "I'll need a few ladies by my side for the evening. These dresses are…complicated."

"Oh." Kakashi's brows rose. "I see. Did you have anyone in mind?"

Ayame nodded, embarrassed. "I did, actually…"

* * *

Sakura, along with the rest of the village, excitedly waited down below the Tower to witness the coronation of the new Daishukujo. The last Hokage that had married while in office had been the Shodai, the rest of the kages had inherited the position while already married. And this was Kakashi-sensei! Ayame-san had looked so pretty in her white kimono earlier in the sanctuary. Sakura was excited for the next outfit.

Naruto stepped beside her. "Hey, Sakura-chan! Isn't this cool?"

Nodding, Sakura grinned. "And we thought he'd never get married."

He scratched at the back of his neck, chuckling. "I guess sometimes we men can't help ourselves."

She wondered, thinking about Sasuke. If what Naruto said was true, then Sasuke was the opposite. She sighed and Naruto nudged her with his shoulder, knowing her thoughts, feeling similar. Maybe their fate was to always long for Sasuke's presence and never obtain it.

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Yea?"

"He was supposed to be back by now."

Naruto nodded, momentarily serious. "Sensei says the situation over there is tricky."

"I know. One of the survivors has started going to the new program."

"Haruhi-chan, right?"

Puzzled, Sakura nodded. "How did you know?"

Naruto shrugged. "Eh. She's a friend of Ayame-nechan. Her kid is cute—almost as cute as Mirai-chan!"

Sakura laughed. "No one is cuter than Mirai-chan!"

Grinning, Naruto glanced up at the Tower. "Not yet."

Sakura blinked at him, thinking maybe he meant—"Is Hinata pregnant?"

Naruto chocked on his own saliva and Sakura snorted. "No! I mean—hopefully one day—I wouldn't mind it if—we do DO—" She watched as he flailed his arms about, embarrassed. Imbecile.

"Alright, Naruto. I get it." Sakura peeked around Naruto. "Where is Hinata anyway?"

"Something about helping with Ayame-chan's kimono."

Sakura squealed. "What an honor!"

"Is it? Aren't they just gonna help her when she needs to poop or something?"

"Naruto!" She tried to whack him but he dodged and laughed. She grinned when he wasn't able to dodge the second hit.

And then the crowd around them began to gasp in delight. Their Daishukujo walked out to meet her husband on the roof and she was breathtaking. She looked like a queen with the gold kanzashi on her head. With her, holding the long crescent tail of her kimono, were Hinata, Kurenai-sensei and Haruhi.

Placing the kage hat on, Kakashi took Ayame's hand in his. The couple gazed at one another, as if summoning resolution together, and many in the crowd cooed endearingly.

Tsunade stepped forward and used chakra to elevate her voice. "I give you Konohagakure's new Daishukujo!"

* * *

The reception was held in a grand white tent near Yumi's part of town. The ceiling was decorated in white and red sweeps of fabric with lights above them, illuminating the tent in a romantic, soft tint. The bride and groom took their seats at the head of the hall, before them a long, marble like aisle that led to a same colored dance floor. On either side of the cream colored aisle were multiple tables dressed in white with large rose centerpieces. Daimyos and their ladies remained in their designated seats, speaking behind their fans to one another while the Ichiraku family and invited guests mingled happily, some choosing to dance with their little ones to the soft serenade of music produced by stringed instruments.

Ayame smiled, watching from afar as her nephews and little cousins tried to out dance one another to gentle music. Mirai and Soota were the only two years olds at the wedding, the first being the only little girl. The two adored one another, much to the delight of Kurenai and Haruhi, who squatted behind them, clapping at the offbeat dance the toddles made.

Her eyes roamed the large expanse of the tent and spotted her father speaking with the Ichiraku chefs, drinking sake and clasping each other on the shoulders in great camaraderie. Ayame felt her sight water slightly at seeing her father so happy. Every time she saw him now, a great sense of guilt and shame swirled in her stomach. She wanted to enjoy tonight, and a bit of her did, but she felt as if she was deceiving everyone, especially her father.

She felt familiar fingers cover her own, warming them. She glanced at Kakashi, who was smiling with his eyes at the mingling guests. His dark gaze slowly moved towards her and winked. She smiled shyly. He really was great at keeping a cool head. Not only that, he always tried to cheer her up when her feelings got the best of her.

The Mizukage, arm and arm with her right hand man, stepped towards them, holding an entire bottle of sake. She held it towards them, grinning. The powerful shinobi was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen, Ayame acknowledged.

"To love!" the Mizukage cried. Despite her drinking, the woman did not sound or look inebriated but excited to be there. The room focused their attention to the head of the tent and many adults reached for their glasses, cheering in agreeableness at the Mizukage's toast.

"To love!" many cried in response and Ayame's heart raced. Love. She glanced at Kakashi. Would he ever love her?

"Hokage-sama," the Mizukage spoke again, admiration in her eyes. "What a gift it is to be alive and know love. Tell us how you knew she was the one!"

Ayame held her breath. All eyes were on them, expectant smiles wide on hero faces. The music softened even more so everyone could hear the response clearly. She looked at Kakashi and he seemed thoughtful, as if calling back the memory when they fell in love.

But there was no such memory. No moment in time existed when they two loved one another, when he knew "she was the one." All there had ever been were prolonged glances and caresses she once upon a time initiated. He had never responded to her until Naruto's wedding—and it had not been right. Now they were there, pretending in front of an audience that only wanted the best for Konohagakure's Hokage. And she did not like this part especially.

"Well," Kakashi said, staring off into an invisible memory. She wondered what nonsense he would come up with again. She hoped no one asked her because she was not like him. She was not good on her feet. He rubbed his chin over his mask.

"Hmm. During Akatsuki's attack, I had been buried in rubble after confronting Pein. I feigned death to preserve crucial intel." Kakashi considered Ayame, thoughtful. "Ayame emerged from one of the fallen buildings. She had been seeking refuge with other civilians. Despite many calling after her, she ran to me and began to pull at the wreckage around me." Kakashi paused, thinking.

It wasn't nonsense. It was true. She had watched from a shelter with many others as Pein flung a needle into his forehead and left him for dead. She had felt such dread, thinking Naruto's beloved sensei was murdered and she had watched it all happen without lifting a finger.

"She thought I was dead," Kakashi continued and everyone, including her, was enraptured. "She was praying very loudly until I decided it was time to speak up and she screamed." The crowd laughed as Ayame felt her cheeks warm. She had been surprised at that time, sincerely thinking he had perished.

"One of Pein's forms came up from the rubble and threatened Akimichi Choji so he would not be able to expose the intel I had managed to gather." Kakashi added a chuckle to his well narrated story. "Ayame saw him preparing an attack and she began to throw what she could at him.

"It was reckless but she was adamant in assisting." He paused again as if recalling a particular part of the memory took a bit more concentration than the rest of it. "She has very poor aim." Ayame wiped at incessant tears, unable to resist from laughing alongside their guests, emotional and surprised at Kakashi's depiction of that day. She also silently cried because she remembered exactly what happened after she failed to stop Pein from firing the projectile at Choji.

Kakashi exhaled and leaned back in his seat. "I stepped in and exhausted the last of my chakra."

A hush fell over the tent and Ayame was not keeping it together—blasted hormones. He had died right in front of her. His head had titled awkwardly to the side and she tried to hold his chin up, screaming for help. No one came for a long time as Choji was able to run away, safe and sound with the intel.

Kakashi shrugged. "After I woke, she was there again. I guess I was a little awed." He squeezed her fingers fondly. Although Ayame did not know what to make of his version of the events of that day, her heart felt so full.

"The bride is moved to tears!" the Mizukage cried, tears of her own at her eyes.

"To love!"

"To peace!"

The audience cheered and whooped.

Guests began to form a line in front of them, holding pretty wrapped boxes and gift bags. The first person in line would bow politely and leave a gift at their feet. Soon they were surrounded. Some guests took a minute to make small talk, generally with Kakashi. Many guests were there because of political reasons so obviously they were acquainted with him. And then there were all his friends and students. Her large family seemed small compared to the amount of people that knew Kakashi. Adding in her coworkers still did not amount to half of those acquainted with the Hokage.

All the while, Ayame continued to sneak glances at Kakashi as people congratulated them with gifts and good will.

Was what he said true? Had he really been awed by her that day? She only uselessly waited around, crying and holding his head up until Choji returned with others. They helped her dig him out and then bodies that were supposed to be dead started waking up around them, healthier than those who were alive. Even Ayame had been battered and bruised when Kakashi startled from death without a single injury.

What a day that had been.

Had he liked her then, on that day over two years ago? But he had never said or done anything to insinuate such a thing. Her crush on him had started by a fickle moment when he had complimented her. He seemed so sincere then and had looked so handsome she couldn't help herself. He was the Hokage after all and she had had a little epiphany that his presence never failed to bring her joy. She had never noticed it until he had looked her in the eye and told her how good of a person she was. He'd been wearing the whole kage get up too, strolling along the street that day, stopping for lunch with Naruto.

The affair had altered and even perverted her affections for him but it had not taken Kakashi long to remind her of why she liked him. He was a good man that loved his students and the village very much. He wore the Will of Fire on his sleeve and now here he was saying he had taken a romantic interest in her years before they had a meaningless affair?

But it wasn't as meaningless as he had let her believe—it was not a mistake deriving from misplaced temptation and sake. For the love of heaven, he had offered her compensation to dismiss the whole affair on the night of the festival. He had never said or done anything to make her think he loved—

"Are you alright?" Kakashi leaned close, gaze searching.

"I'm just—a little tired." She couldn't help but lean close too and paid close attention to how his eyes widened at her proximity. Had he really liked her for so long? How had she missed it? If she took that thought and ran with it, then maybe it could…make sense.

He was so good to her. But he was also good to everyone so that was not much evidence to back up what he had said earlier. Ayame wondered if it was true or if Kakashi had once more used truths from their long acquaintanceship to help convince everyone of their present relationship.

Kakashi glanced towards her hidden belly and quickly back up. He was starting to do that a lot. "I'll sneak us out of here soon." She could see him smirk through the mask. Hair sleeked back, he looked very handsome today.

"Thank you." My God, her throat was incredibly dry and it had nothing to do with thirst.

Kakashi nodded and turned his attention back to a bowing guest.

Her heart beat incredibly fast. Could it be possible Kakashi loved her all this time and she hadn't known it? Although he was a great man, she learned over the last couple of months that he was also evasive when it came to private matters. He was stubborn and when irritated he could be incredibly patronizing. But he had a great sense of humor and a kind heart. He was an honorable man to take on the title of kage even though he never sought it.

On the outside, she could easily assume he took on big responsibilities because it was his duty, but the truth was that he said yes to those opportunities because he cared. He had said yes to team seven not because it was his duty as an elite jonin but because he cared. He said yes to the kage title because he loved the village, and although it was not what he wanted, he did it because his home needed him. And then there was her. He didn't have to search her out after the affair but he had—awkwardly yes, but he had been the one to find her and talk. Because he…cared. About her. She knew that now. And when she had come crying to him, pregnant and afraid, he made the decision to marry. He cared about the little extra flare of chakra for reasons that stretched outside of sake and lust.

He had called it a child the first day she told him about it. She had not thought of its conception well enough to think of it as a child until he brought it up.

Ayame was starting to understand why he had been upset after she had not spoken candidly on the night of the festival. If he had loved her, if he had always wanted her, then having been ignored must have hurt him like Yuu hurt her all those years ago.

"Hey Aya-chan."

Ayame blinked up to see her sister with her husband who had a gift in hand. Her eyes watered and she stood, racing thoughts put aside for now. "Nechan!"

Yumi jumped as Ayame nearly stumbled down the steps, over a few gifts and into her arms. She must have just arrived!

"I'm so glad you could make it." Ayame didn't care if her sister felt stiff under her embrace, she was just glad she came. They're last encounter had been awful.

Yumi patted her back. "Aya-chan, everyone is looking." She was even calling her Aya-chan!

"Let them look. I'm so happy."

Yumi's patting paused and then she slowly wrapped her arms around her little sister. Ayame laughed happily.

* * *

Kakashi watched the exchange between sisters. He was glad Sato Yumi came. Ayame was always so hesitant to speak about her sister and Kakashi could easily understand why. She was not a bad person but she was an abysmal sister. Although the older woman was making an effort today, the kind of jealousy she carried did not disappear or manifest overnight.

After the greetings and congratulatory gifts, Kakashi stood and offered Ayame a hand. "Ayame...they've prepared a place for us tonight before we leave in the morning."

Ayame looked to see that the line of guests had diminished and everyone was happily mingling with one another or eating again. Seeing the window of opportunity, she scratched at where her golden headpiece met her scalp. The gold clinked prettily on her head.

"Okay but I have to use the bathroom…"

"Oh, alright." It was the third time tonight but Kakashi thought it was best not to comment.

Kakashi waited outside the bathroom as Kurenai, Hinata and Haruhi assisted his wife undue her many layers of clothing. In the meantime, Mirai and Soota-chin stared up at him in awe.

His eyes crinkled at them. "Hello there."

"Is you really O-kag-sama?" Soota-chin narrowed his gaze, little arms crossed.

Mirai scrunched her face at the boy. "They say it all day. 'O-kay-sama, O-kay-sama.' He is!"

Soota-chin copied her expression and pointed to his electric blonde head. "His hair is differ-aunt." Then there were two chubby faces glancing up at Kakashi again, examining his volume-less hair.

Kakashi interjected professionally. "I think you have me confused with somebody else. I'm the Hokage not O-kag or O-kay-sama."

"Das what I say, grown up," Soota-chin glared. The boy was certainly a character and had the most peculiar shade of blonde hair Kakashi had ever seen. It hovered between white and blonde but was neither.

After a few minutes of having a staring contest with a pair of toddlers that possessed intellect telling of a future in the shinobi world, Kakashi figured it was time to act his age.

"So do you like puppies?"

* * *

When Ayame stepped out of the restroom with the toddlers' mothers and Hinata, the dog summons became adamant in introducing themselves with the utmost curtesy to the new Daishukujo. She was surrounded by puppies! (Albeit they were not pups at all but to her all dogs were adorable and worthy to always be called puppies).

Ayame held Pakkun's paw, an adorable little pug whose voice was deeper than otousan's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said. And then, unable to restrain herself, she picked him up and hugged him. "Oh my gosh you're so cute! You smell so good."

"I like her, Kakashi," Pakkun stated, voice serious but tail wagging.

The other canines happily barked for their turn and she happily obliged. She settled for hugging the neck of the bigger summons. They didn't seem to mind as their tails also wagged incessantly meanwhile the toddlers were trying to climb on to Buru's large back. Their mothers decided it was time to take them back to the dance floor. Hinata followed after them, leaving the newlyweds with the summons.

As Ayame continued to make friends with the ninken in the hallway, Kakashi contently stood to the side. She yelped when the one called Biscuit dug his nose into her lower abdomen precisely when the Tsuchikage made his way into the hall.

"You smell like Kakashi here."

Kakashi chocked on his saliva and Ayame blushed madly. Of all the ways Biscuit could have worded that—Kakashi quickly dismissed all the ninken.

The Tsuchikage raised a gray brow, completely misinterpreting what Biscuit meant. "Couldn't wait until tonight, eh?"

Albeit embarrassed, Ayame was curious. Did she have a certain scent now that she was pregnant? She blushed harder. Did the baby truly smell like Kakashi? That was kind of... cool. Chakra allowed for such incredible experiences.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. "Oh you've caught us, Tsuchikage. Please keep this between us." The Tsuchikage was not wrong, only in timing.

"Doesn't matter much now that you're both married." Glancing at Ayame once more, the old man's eyes filled with recognition. "I remember this young woman. She was the one who interrupted our meeting."

"That's right," Kakashi recalled, ignoring Ayame's glare.

"Very nice!" The old man chuckled. "If I may, I wanted to speak with you about something, Rokudaime Hokage."

Both men looked at Ayame as if for permission. She raised her hands up in negation of her presence. "Please! Go ahead." She did not plan to ever get in the way of his duties as Hokage, not even on their wedding day. She smiled kindly towards Kakashi. "I will wait here for you"

He nodded and the two men walked further down the hall which led to the exit of the tent.

Haruhi suddenly appeared back in the hall with Soota-chin exclaiming with signs and words he was "not going to make it!" Ayame laughed and followed the younger woman into the bathroom.

After the crisis was over, and Soota indeed made it, Haruhi held the boy up to the sink so he could wash his hands. Ayame curiously watched how Haruhi, in all her youth and muteness, was a great mother to Soota. Despite whatever circumstances made her a mother at such a young age, it did not deter her from being a good person. Ayame could barely imagine what atrocities Raiden had saved her from. She envisioned a much younger Haruhi, barely a teenager and pregnant. Some point in time, Raiden came and took her away from whomever and whatever held her against her will.

Ayame blinked back the tears but only made them fall faster, thinking about Raiden and where he could even be. She really wished her best friend was there. Recently, it had begun to dawn on her that there was much more to Raiden's past than he ever let on, Ayame promised herself that when he came back, she would be a better friend to him.

Hearing her sniffles, Haruhi glanced over. She quickly carried Soota to the door and signed for him to find Kurenai and play with Mirai. Ayame only knew this because of the familiar name signs Haruhi had created in reference to Mirai and her mother.

When Soota scurried away excitedly, Haruhi went over to Ayame and hugged her.

Their mutual friendship and worry for Raiden had easily made the young women very close and dependent of one another's presence. Haruhi's inability to speak did not deter anything. Kakashi had even commented on the quick friendship, glad for it. Ayame hugged Haruhi tighter. She had to remember to also thank Raiden when he returned—for introducing her to her first, real female friend.

* * *

From the corner of the room, she watched Kakashi create a makeshift futon with only a pillow and blanket. She wanted to say they could trade but she knew he would not let her. And she wouldn't dare suggest they share the futon although it was large enough for two—made for two.

"It's fine." He reassured her with a white smile, mask put away for the night. He probably saw her concern. Ayame knew she wasn't like him or others when it came to hiding emotions.

"Won't you get sick?" It was early spring but it still got chilly at night.

He smiled again and her heart fluttered. His gaze felt as if it could caress each and every one of her ribs, one by one, bone by bone. Her heart sped.

"I'll be fine, Ayame. Thank you."

She nodded, feeling exceptionally shy. She knew shinobi could manifest chakra to keep them cool or warm, depending on the climate. It was silly to ask if he'd get sick or not. She'd seen ninjas running around in shorts during blizzards plenty of times—she supposed she was just nervous and had to talk about _something_.

He had indirectly admitted feelings for her and she could not bring it up.

* * *

Kakashi watched his bride turn a pretty pink and promptly duck under the futon covers. He withheld his laughter. He could not blame her. He was nervous about being alone with her too.

He remembered something. "What should we call one another?"

"Don't I have to call you 'Hokage-sama'?" Her words came out ruffled.

"Not necessarily." He laid down, elbow supporting his head. She mumbled something and he smiled again. "What was that?"

"I can't just start calling you 'Kakashi.' I'm not accustomed to it."

"Why not 'Kakashi-sensei'?" Back then, she referred to him as such, and now unbeknownst, called him still.

She poked her head out of the cover. "They'll think we're perverts."

He laughed. "The Tsuchikage won't be alone then."

Ayame pressed her face to the pillow and laughed loudly. "That was so traumatizing!"

Kakashi agreed. The seasoned kage had no filter neither did Biscuit. "Call me 'darling'."

She threw a pillow at him and missed by several feet. He tossed it back in a strategic fling so she would easily catch it. She didn't.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"What—what would you like to call me?" he tried to talk over his laughter and he could tell she was trying not to laugh as well, pretending to pout.

Gathering herself, Ayame seemed to consider the question as she stared up at the ceiling, arms crossed. She looked very beautiful. Her long hair was curled and sprawled all around her. The dark color stood out among the whiteness of the futon and her creamy skin. Her long, dark lashes fluttered—she was tired. Today had been exhausting for both of them. A kage wedding was more for the village than the couple.

Her cheeks were pink when she turned to him. "How about…'Kakashi-san'?"

"I would like that." His voice deepened.

She looked sleepily at him, with a gentleness he was beginning to anticipate. "You're very handsome when you smile."

"Thank you," he said but he knew she was already asleep. It had been a very long day.

* * *

 _I knew I loved you then—  
But you'd never know,  
'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go.  
_

 _I know I needed you—  
But I never showed.  
I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_

 _-James Arthur, 'Say You Won't Let Go'_


	12. A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part I

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Literally trying to finished this before Hurricane Irma come up here in Orlando, FL and try my life.**

* * *

A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part I

* * *

 _From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit._

"Kakashi-san, what are you reading?"

They had been traveling west for hours, the simple carriage's wheels occasionally catching bumps in the worn-out dirt paths. Throughout fire country they went, towards Nami no Kuni. In civilian attire, Fuko and Yugao manned the horses, driving out in front.

For the initial hours of the ride, Ayame kept her nose out the window the entire trip, backside up (and constantly eating snacks). She let out the occasional "ooo" and "ah!" and "are we close?" which had him thinking back to genin team seven. At times she would say "come look!" and reach behind to grab his hand, pulling him near. He wordlessly obeyed, humoring her as always.

On one of those occasions, he scooted closer than necessary and after she had shown him what had apparently been "the best thing ever," she realized his proximity. She tried to turn but only made her bottom press against his upper thighs. Recollections swarmed. His hands came up to still her hips before she riled up more than just the skirt of her dress.

"Hey," he whispered and she coyly glanced over her shoulder, enormous eyes blinking up at him—that blasted lock of hair in her mouth again. He caressed it behind her ear, dragging fingertips across her cheek, while the other maintained a hold of her waist. "Careful," he had said, watching her mouth. She quickly muttered apologies and nearly shoved him back into his seat. He watched her laugh nervously, pick up a knitting hoop and promptly focus all her attention on it. In turn, and very slowly, Kakashi pulled out a scroll, hoping a good read would distract him from the incredibly attractive woman he was stuck with.

But now her attention moved from the flowery hoop to the scroll in his hands. Her manicured fingers pressed into the cushiony seat between them as she leaned closer.

"Proverbs written by Hagoromo Otsutsuki," he answered and she blinked. "The Sage of Six Paths…"

Recognition filled her eyes. "The ghost grandpa from the war!"

Kakashi chuckled. "Naruto told you war stories, did he?"

"Hm-mm!" she nodded vigorously and peeked at the scroll in his hands. "He wrote this? It must be ancient."

"This is an old copy. The original scriptures are long gone."

"Amazing—wow! These characters are hard to read." Ayame squinted and leaned closer to the text, leaned closer to him. "Let's see …Out of the…the… uh—"

"Abundance."

"—Out of the _abundance_ of the heart, the mouth speaks!" She nodded triumphantly.

Impressed, Kakashi nodded. "Studying is going well, then."

Ayame laughed, scratching the back of her head in a very Naruto-like manner. "Shikamaru-kun is a great teacher. It's me who isn't the best student."

"Just the same. It's not easy to read Hagoromo's teachings." The curriculum he and Shikamaru decided on was simple but thorough. Kakashi wanted to implement the Sage of Six Paths in civilian and shinobi studies. The proverbs were enlightening. Shikamaru agreed. Unfortunately, Kakashi himself hadn't been able to tutor her as he had initially promised when he brought up the lessons. But he could acknowledge her growth.

Ayame glowed under the weight of his praise and Kakashi felt hot under his clothes. Instead of scooting closer to him as he hoped she would, she nodded shyly and returned her gaze to the hoop. Her smile did not hide her delight.

He was disappointed but did not say anything. It was not right for him to expect any sort of physical touch from her—wife or not. Although, she had accustomed him to light grazes and the occasional hug. She even kissed his cheek yesterday. Perhaps now she was reluctant because of the marriage. She did not want him to assume she'd propose more than she modestly offered before—more than what their arranged marriage offered. More than he had taken on that night.

 _You'll be the only man in my life and I'll be the only woman in yours…_

Kakashi wondered if she even knew what those words meant.

She dressed smartly today (a common thing she did when out of uniform). She called her clothes a "travel outfit," one she hadn't utilized as she never left the village. It was mid-length, a green expedition dress with pockets at the chest and hips. A belt wrapped snugly under her breasts, reminding Kakashi how small her waist was and how ample her chest was becoming. She had a matching hat that tied under her chin. The skirt of the dress was loose, so if she had a curved abdomen, no one could see it. During the last few weeks, she favored loose fitting dresses and blouses.

Understandably, of course. But larger clothing did not make the blood in his veins run any colder. Kakashi forced his gaze from Ayame to the ancient scripture in hand. Alone with Ayame for two weeks—God help him.

He would not last the day.

* * *

Ayame munched on baby carrots as Kakashi pressed the tiger sign to his lips and blew. The dry, wooden logs easily caught flames. She glanced around the makeshift campsite as Fuko and Yugao set up tents. They were small tents that you would have to bend at the knees to get into. They were small in width as well; therefore, whoever shared the quarters would have to sleep very close. Ayame tried not to think about it.

She turned to the two horses and rubbed a mare's snout. "I feel pretty useless right now."

The creature ignored her until Ayame offered some carrots with an open palm. The mare greedily ate the vegetables. Not to ignore the animal's counterpart, Ayame offered the other mare some and she giggled as the horse's lips and tongue tickled her palm.

"You two only want me for my snacks."

Obviously, the beautiful horses did not reply and Ayame sighed, facing the shinobi at work. The three were completely in their element, having created countless sites like this one before. Though, none of them wore their uniforms. Kakashi even forewent his mask. They were to carry on as civilians to avoid attention. Peculiarly, Kakashi's usual shock of hair was without volume and although his shirt was short sleeved, Ayame could not see his tattoo. Whatever was covering it was also covering the beauty mark and the scar. He looked handsome but different—she supposed that was the point.

She was even supposed to call him 'Kumo' in front of others and their surname would be her father's. Ichiraku Kumo and Ayame— _weird_.

At that moment, Kakashi glanced her way and waved. She lifted a hand and wiggled her fingers, once more feeling bashful. Since last night, she could not get the Pein story out of her head.

It…unsettled her that there was a possibility he loved her when the affair occurred. The whole mess could have been avoided if he has _said something_. More so, he was not bringing it up on his own, privately between them, and it made her think perhaps his story was just a tale to placate the wedding guests. She wanted to ask him but was not sure how to. He had a habit of making announcements without elaborations and expecting everyone to deal with it. How could she ask him? Is it true you loved me for over two years and that was why you followed me home?

It was not right.

Ayame deflated. How would she bring that up? They had yet to speak or clarify the events of that night (it was almost taboo). Neither did they know one another very well. The marriage had not changed things. He was nice, she was nice. One made a joke, the other laughed.

Hand now empty, the mare nudged it, bringing her back from her thoughts.

"Sorry," Ayame said, "I'm all out." She rubbed its snout instead, satisfying it.

A bigger hand came from around and stroked alongside hers. Her heart stuttered within her, feeling the hand's owner very close to her side. The arm was scored with scattered, superficial scars from years of being a ninja and one of the greatest fighters the shinobi world had ever seen.

"Would you like to try and catch some fish? There's a stream nearby."

Ayame turned to look at her husband, interest peeked. "Could we?"

"Come."

The stream was close but the ninja left clones to watch the campsite. The water was clear and only came up to her mid-calves. Pods of fish swam with the current, avoiding their legs.

"It's so cold!" she cried, jumping around. Water splashed. The climate became less cold the more west they traveled, but it was still mid-spring and the evening was becoming chilly.

"Ayame-sama!" Fuko laughed, hopping a few steps away from her to avoid getting his clothes wet.

The men rolled up their pants while the women donned shorter bottoms. She knew this dress would come in handy! Yugao looked fabulous in regular clothes—especially those shorts that emphasized her thigh muscles. She was a beauty—most kunoichi were.

"You wuss," the older woman muttered. Ayame watched in awe as she, in less than a second, shot one hand down into the water and pulled out a small trout.

Ayame clapped vigorously. "Amazing, Yugao-san! Okay! My turn!"

She was determined! Seeing a lone fish pass between her legs, Ayame squealed as she reached down as fast as she could to grab it. She did not even graze a fin with her fingertips but she had managed to splash water all over herself. She shivered, staring as her almost-victim swam away. It would live to see another day.

"I don't think I can do this."

Kakashi strode to her side. "Anticipate their moves."

Ayame frowned. What did that even mean? She caught noodles not fish.

He smirked. "Here," and then he was wrapping his arms around her body, aligning his hands with hers. She nearly forgot to breathe as he bent forward and down, guiding her to do the same. The right side of his body completely cocooned the left side of hers, molded to her. Her one leg was nearly enclosed by both of his, his abs bent over her lower back. It was not cold anymore.

He was talking as he dipped their hands together into the water but she had no idea what he was going on about. Ayame pursed her lips and tried not to arch into the warmth he was providing. Slow down, mama bear. All she had to do was turn her face to the left and she could kiss his neck—smell him—

"Now!"

She jumped to attention when he forced her hands into a clasp around a trout. She screamed as it wiggled within their grasp and out of the water with their hands.

"Don't let go—careful now." Kakashi led her towards the edge of the stream, hands hovering over hers the entire time, his upper thighs touching her bottom. She held her breath. Fuko and Yugao waited with a basket already full of flapping trout.

When the fish was out of Ayame's hands, she released a large exhale. Not only was the slimy fish out of her grasp, but Kakashi returned her personal space.

Yugao smirked. "We won."

Ayame's mouth parted in a light gasp and then she sharply turned to Kakashi. "We have to catch more!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head. "Well, they caught more than enough for the four of us. The sun is almost gone, too…"

She furrowed her brows. "Okay, but on our way home we have to win."

Ayame tried to hide her smile as Kakashi passed Yugao a glare. She did not realize until yesterday that Kakashi and Yugao had such a relationship. It reminded Ayame of how she and Raiden acted with one another. At the thought of him, she tried not to sadden or blurt out a question at Kakashi.

Back at the site, they finished up dinner as the sun completely disappeared from the sky and Ayame could see nothing but stars and a barely full moon. Fuko and Yugao lightly chatted with one another when Kakashi asked her if she wanted to rest.

She nodded, realizing how tired she was from traveling all day. She found herself becoming easily fatigued nowadays. It was also getting chillier.

Kakashi gave her a head start into the tent so she could change. She felt odd not showering but she supposed ninja like Kakashi and Naruto went days without the commodity when they were traveling on long missions.

When she secured the last button, she gave Kakashi the all clear and the entrance of the tent zipped down. He had changed into black sweatpants and a marron tank. He got on his hands and knees to enter the small tent. She blushed. They were alone once again, but this time they had no choice but to share close quarters. At least they had separate sleeping rolls.

Catching her gaze, Kakashi finished zipping the tent closed. He sat on his blankets. "Are you alright?" He always asked that.

She nodded and began to crawl into her sleeping bag, suddenly feeling silly in her white, frilly pajamas. Before she finished maneuvering in, Kakashi began to peel a layer of skin off of his left bicep, revealing the ANBU summoning mark. He put the light film of skin inside a tin case and then reached for the spot where his beauty mark should be.

She watched with wide eyes as slowly, but surely, the man transformed back into the image she associated him with. He winced when the last piece of film caught on some of his eyebrow hair.

"Do you wear those when you travel?" She could not help but ask.

He shrugged, putting the case away, back towards her. "Depends on the mission."

She smiled almost bitterly. Was this a mission for him? Ayame looked down at her lap. That's right. Why was she forgetting this was not a real marriage? Today had been…so nice. But he was the Hokage and she was pregnant. She loved him but who knew how he really felt? The story he had said…

She glanced up at his back, shoulders wide and lean muscles coming out to form powerful arms whose complete strength she did not know. She thought of how they surrounded her during fishing. His hands were rough-skinned and undeniably deadly, yet he had led hers smoothly through the stream. Again, she wondered why he hid his face. He really was handsome—she blushed. Next to him, she felt quite ordinary.

Kakashi began to rub at his neck, reminding her of Sakura scolding him for not taking care of himself—when she had been excited for her sensei's future marriage.

Pitying the Hokage of her village, Ayame removed her legs from the confines of the sleeping bag and scooted towards him on her knees. "I—I may not be a medical ninja, but I can do this." She sounded braver than she felt. He curiously glanced over his shoulder. Carefully, she placed her hands on his shoulders and lightly caressed the tight flesh close to his neck. "Can—can I?"

Kakashi eyed her silently. She attempted a squeeze anyway, massaging. His gaze darkened before he faced away again. She gave another squeeze despite his silence. When he sighed in relaxation, her heart soared. He tilted his head; exposing more of the right neck, hinting where he needed her touch. She smiled, remembering how he had brought her ginger tea.

"Thanks— _right_ there."

She blushed harder. "Okay, Kakashi-san." She could do this. He had already done so much. She concentrated on the areas that felt like knots, rubbing them out.

He was so sturdy. She felt like a ribbon in the wind compared to him. Kakashi was not a very bulky man but every limb and every muscle was wound tight. He was lean and in his prime, healthy and in control of every movement he put forward. It came with the profession, she supposed. Control mattered during life and death situations. It was one of his most attractive qualities.

It had not only been her crush that night that persuaded her to do as he pleased. Kakashi could probably seduce a corpse if he looked at it the way he had looked at her that night. The way he looked at her still—but she wasn't ready for that again. This was enough.

Memories got the best of her and unconsciously the massaging lessoned to soft caresses across his shoulders. Up, down, the length of his spine—down his arms and then back up.

If he had…really loved her long before the affair, why had he not said anything? Why had he not acted on those feelings when she had been so obviously crazy about him for the past year? If he had spoken up, they could have done everything correctly…

If he had not drunk very much sake, as he previously admitted, and was of sober and sound mind—in control—why did he do it? Was it because he loved her but did not know how to say it? She was not even sure if she had loved him then—but she loved him now. She could not help it with all that had happened—all that he had done for her.

"Ayame?"

She stopped caressing him, hands stilled on his biceps. Had she not been worthy enough to be confessed to? It took a night of mistake to—

He turned to her. She gazed intently at him, wanting to know his thoughts—needing to understand what it was they had, sans village, sans child. A child they did not even really talk about.

He reached for her.

Ayame indulged in the way his fingertips first slid across her cheek to then tuck a strand behind her ear, as he had done in the carriage. He allowed the hand to rest on her neck, thumb pressing down on her bottom lip, swiping across it. It reminded her of yesterday in the stairwell. But now there was no lipstick to be mindful of and her flesh molded and spread underneath the sensual swipe.

He seemed content there with her in the small tent, not at all like a man acting on duty alone. She scooted closer, knees shuffling over their sleeping bags. Her eyes closed at his intensifying, dark gaze. Her nimble fingers reached up to gently rest on his attentive hand.

She barely whispered his name. It was… _the way he looked at her still._

When his mouth softly touched hers, it was as if the point of contact was warm water, slowly running down her entire body. The water became warmer down her abdomen when he pressed the kiss closer, fully molding with her lips. Her hands slid down to hold on to his forearm.

 _Oh_ this was nothing like the kisses from before.

If he kissed her like this, she thought, he had to care. If they loved one another, why stay silent about it, why force a marriage? Why could it not be a real marriage, despite their turbulent beginning? If he truly cared for her during all this time, then he wasn't really forcing himself to be with her—he _wanted_ this. Just as much as she did, even if—even if he had been quiet about it.

Kakashi parted from the chaste kiss, mouth remaining close. Her lashes fluttered open, like new butterfly wings. His gaze held hers, thumb caressing her lip again.

"Ayame…" His voice was deeper than usual and her thighs pressed together.

She thought, He will say it. He will say he loves me. She bit her lip, heart racing as his other hand came up to her waist, pulling her closer. Her hands landed on his ribs. Their chests were nearly touching. She arched her back, breasts erasing the small gap between them. Her mind was reeling.

He gave her another chaste kiss and then another, and between more kisses that were beginning to slowly trail off towards her jawline, Ayame melting into a puddle, he mumbled—"Would you like a physical relationship?"—and continued down her neck, gradually grazing his mouth up and down the side column of her neck.

Ayame froze. All the warm water from his lips turned ice cold. As soon as she stiffened, he stopped and slowly, slowly pulled his mouth away.

"What?" She barely managed to say, mind somewhat in a fog.

He met her gaze, breath slightly askew. He did not repeat the question.

And then she felt it: utter, _vile_ disappointment.

Her throat constricted tightly and her eyes became very wet, very quickly.

Kakashi frowned and the hand at her waist reached also for her face. She flinched quite obviously from his touch, separating from him completely. His hands fell to his sides and she was horrified with herself.

How could she be _so stupid?_ It was not his fault, she tried to reason quickly with herself as her thoughts grew more turbulent—he never promised her love. She just thought—because they got on so well—

She sat on her heels and frantically looked around the small tent, suddenly feeling suffocated. His entire presence became an avalanche and if she did not escape— _she would die, frozen forever in embarrassment_. Her heart raced, but now it was not in pleasure but in undiluted disillusionment.

He wanted to do it all over again _without talking about it?_

A hard sob rushed out of her mouth and his hands were on her again, asking her what was wrong. His concern and his kisses all confused her and she needed to get away. "No!" she screamed and slapped his arms away and continued to swat her hands because suddenly she could not stop. The harder she began to think of that fatal night, the harder she thrashed at his chest and his arms and his face—

* * *

Yugao and Fuko watched as the Daishukujo came fumbling out of the tent. She crawled out with a pillow, raging. The Hokage, face bare, also started to come out but she tried to hit him with the pillow so he had no choice but to retreat inside.

"Ayame—wait—"

"—stupid _man_!"

"Let me explain!"

He tried to exit again but she swung the pillow again. She missed, of course, but the force of the swing had clumps of cotton falling.

"Give me your pillow!" she demanded.

Yugao and Fuko's mouths' would have fallen open in shock at Konoha's number one couple fighting, but as it was, these two were accustomed to their squabbles. As the individual guards to both of them, they were privy to each and every one of the couple's private moments, including the tidbit about the baby. But would they say anything? Nope. On pain of death, actually.

"I said. Give. It!" She tried to go back in the tent, heart set on pillowing the man to death but Kakashi obstructed her entrance by coming out and standing. He tried to grab the deflated pillowcase from her but that only made her rage more.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted and whipped the pillowcase at him. The smack it made against his forearm was pretty loud and both ANBU members sucked in through their teeth. Ayame-sama was a little violent at times—it was not her fault. Most Konoha women were like this. Everyone blamed it on the summer suns. And the men. It did not help that her hormones were at irregular levels. With the baby and all. Which they knew about.

Annoyed, Kakashi snatched the case from Ayame and held it up out of her reach when she went for it. "Will you listen?"

"No!" She jumped, not making any progress. "Give it!"

Fuko nudged Yugao. "Two gold coins he'll give it back."

Yugao rolled her eyes. "Not much of a bet if the other party agrees with you."

When Ayame let out a frustrated cry, Kakashi's eyes widened and almost immediately lowered the empty pillowcase.

"Don't cry—" he was interrupted when she grabbed the pillowcase and threw it at his face. And then she ran back into the tent.

"Don't come in here!" She said and haphazardly zipped the entrance closed. Loud sobs ensued.

As the pillowcase slowly, slowly slid off of the Hokage's face and onto the ground, the man turned to them.

Still a newbie, Fuko quickly snapped his gaze to the fire and stared very intensely into the flames. Yugao stared blankly back at her superior. Obviously, it was Kakashi's fault. She narrowed her eyes at him.

 _Freakin' Konoha men._

Kakashi glared back. "Yugao, share the tent with her. I'll take yours."

"Got it," she mumbled, standing with her male counterpart.

Fuko fumbled beside her. "Uh, what about…me?"

Kakashi smiled that horrible smile with the crinkles. "Outside."

"Yes, sir..."

* * *

Approaching Nami no Kuni, they stopped in consideration of a large party of people surrounding a large white-tarp wagon by the roadside. A man in gypsy clothing and hoop earrings waved at them, smiling.

Ayame and Yugao rode inside the carriage while Kakashi and Fuko sat out front with the horses. When Kakashi had tried to enter the carriage with his wife earlier in the morning, she stated to the air that she would ride in the front. Then he, very maturely, also stated to the air that _he_ would ride in the front. When she ignored him but did not make to actually sit in the front, Kakashi sighed and switched places with Yugao.

They'd been getting on so well before he had to go and kiss her. She'd been enjoying it, Kakashi was sure, but then he had to ask if she wanted a physical relationship. If she wanted to have sex in their marriage. If he could take back the words, he would. But as it was, Kakashi didn't know any time traveling jutsu.

Oncoming the wagon, Kakashi tapped at the wood behind him. "Yugao." The female ANBU slid a miniature window open near their necks.

"They all have average chakra levels. Except the one sitting, surrounded by women. He is shinobi."

Kakashi's eyes swept the scene before him. A few men similarly dressed as the gypsy stood around the large wagon, hands on their hips and exasperated. They had somehow managed to get the back wheels stuck in a muddy slope. Their four horses looked none too happy, huffing and puffing on higher ground. To the side, there were five women with excessive amounts of bangles on their forearms and ankles. One carried a small child on her hip and one was heavily pregnant. The last three attended to the man Yugao pointed out as shinobi. He looked feverish and they hovered close. The entire left side of his body was in bandages.

Fuko pulled the reins to a stop, the horses shaking their manes in irritation. The gypsy man had a wide grin, lyre attached to his back. Traveling musicians, Kakashi deducted. Off to the side, where the women were, many miscellaneous objects like boxes and crates held multiple things. Some of those things were instruments and an assortment of cloths. They must have emptied the wagon in hopes of making it weigh less.

"Pardon, gentlemen. I do not mean to disturb yer travels but my friends and I could use some help." The man's good nature and charisma was palpable.

Kakashi nodded. "We'd like to help in any way we can."

The instrumentalist's grin expanded. "Wonderful! My name is Akira and these are my musicians." He waved them over and they came, demeanors polite and curious. One woman stayed with the feverish man, helping him sip water. Kakashi noticed a black, rectangular marking peeking out of the bandages on the man's shoulder. "Well, not all of 'em," Akira continued, "The other two wagons went ahead, you see. It wouldn't do to keep our clients waiting. We have places to be, people to please."

A big, bulky musician walked up next to Akira, rubbing a shoulder, voice deep. "I'm Fotoga. Hopefully the others can satisfy this afternoon's performance. Ever since they built the Great Naruto Bridge, tourists come to Wave hoping for the best vacations. That means the best entertainment. We get booked here six to ten times a year."

Akira nodded, thoughtful. "And they'll get the best, my friend—as soon as we get these wheels out of the mud. Must've rained weeks ago. Last time I let you man the horses, Fotoga." The group all chorused mumbles of agreement, some snickering at their comrade's embarrassment. Akira grinned up at Kakashi and Fuko. "I imagine you folks are tourists, too? The beaches here are breathtaking."

Kakashi and Fuko offered polite smiles as they climbed down. They shook some of the men's hands and nodded in acknowledgement at the rest of the entourage. "Kumo. Good to meet you. This is Fuko. We're traveling with our wives."

"Honeymoon, perhaps?" the woman with the child chimed in, glancing at the simple carriage. She adjusted the child on her hip, bangles clinking.

Before Fuko could answer, Ayame rushed out of the carriage with Yugao hot on her heels. Yugao barley had time to hold Ayame's hair back as she bent forward and vomited.

" _Urgh_."

Akira scrunched his nose. "Oh dear."

Ayame blinked towards the man and his astounded friends. "I've never met musicians before," she offered, covering her mouth and it was incredibly adorable. Kakashi couldn't help the slight upward turn of his lips, despite their current estrangement.

They all laughed. Akira said, "And we've never been greeted so unforgettably. Thank you, young lady."

Ayame blushed, embarrassed and Yugao rubbed her back, smiling sympathetically.

* * *

Having helped push the large wagon out of the muddy ditch—nothing a little chakra couldn't do—the musicians offered to feed their horses in gratitude. They also busied themselves putting everything they had taken out back into the wagon.

"You two must be shinobi with how strong you are," the Fotoga commented, handing Fuko and Kakashi water bottles. "With you lifting, we barely strained ourselves!"

Fuko nodded. "We're from Konoha. It's nice to get away."

The man's eyes widened admiration clear. "Konoha, you say? Wonderful place, I hear."

The heavily pregnant woman walked up to Fotoga and he wrapped an arm around her. She said, "Oh, I'd loved to perform there."

Kakashi smiled. "I'll put in a good word with the Hokage."

The two musicians grinned and continued to animatedly chat with Fuko as Kakashi politely excused himself in guise of asking his wife something. He wanted to get a good look at the feverish shinobi. He wore no Hitai-ate.

They had already put the man in the wagon, and Kakashi went to a woman carrying a crate. "Allow me," he said and took the crate from her. She blushed and hurried off to get something else. Kakashi jumped up into the back of the wagon and moved the white flap, entering. It was roomy and comfortably lived in. They were certainly nomadic musicians, after all.

"Hello," he greeted towards the corner of the wagon. The feverish man and the woman who had not left his side looked up at him. She was unwinding the bandages on his arm. It was infected but Kakashi could clearly see the rest of the rectangular tattoo.

Just like Raiden's: An Ame summoning mark.

She smiled and waved towards the corner. "Right there is fine. Thank you for all yer help, sir."

"Of course," Kakashi nodded towards them before placing the crate down and taking his leave.

He went around the wagon. He spotted Akira and the woman who held the child earlier charismatically chatting with Ayame and Yugao. Ayame sipped water and then coughed, unable to resist laughing at what Akira was going on about. He proceeded to take out a mini djembe out of his satchel and held it out to Ayame. She gave the water to Yugao and excitedly grabbed the small drum. She hooked it under arm and to Kakashi's surprise, began to play it quite well.

"Aya-chan, amazing!" Akira laughed, clapping along with the women to the simple tempo Ayame set.

If another man called her 'Aya-chan,' Kakashi was not sure what he would do. He narrowed his eyes as he approached them. He did not know she knew how to play a drum. He did not know many things about her.

"Ayame."

She glanced at him along with her new friends. "Hm!" She turned her head away from him, ceasing the drumming.

Akira raised his eyebrows, intrigued. "Oh, this one is yer new husband, Aya-chan?"

Eyes closed and chin pointed up and away from Kakashi, she answered, "Yes. He is _Ichiraku Kumo_."

Akira whistled. "Already you quarrel?"

She crossed her arms, unwilling to meet her husband's gaze. Kakashi frowned. "That's right," she mumbled. Yugao actually glared at Kakashi. The other woman glanced between all of them.

Akira frowned, and looked between them as well, measuring their body language. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Perhaps he does not satisfy you?"

Ayame jumped, surprised at the musician's subject matter. Mostly annoyed, Kakashi dug his hands in his pockets. "That's not a problem."

Akira laughed. "He is so honest." He gestured to Ayame as if presenting a grand creature. "Yet she is upset. Surely, no, Kumo-san?"

"It isn't a problem." Why was Kakashi entertaining this situation? Her anger at him was frustrating, too. She was not looking at him again—heavens, she was ignoring him. _Again_. He did not like this side of her. He rather she scream and hoot but not this. He did not like it and he had a suspicion she knew it. He wondered if she knew how jealous he could be.

"Right, darling?" he added, gaze directed towards his wife.

Ayame sweetly smiled at Kakashi. "Oh _yes_. He's an animal with clothes on."

Both men startled at her words. The women covered their mouths, trying not to laugh. Akira then clasped his hands on his cheeks, loving the unfolding drama. "She is honest too!"

"He also likes it when I call him sensei."

Akira gasped and looked at him, nose scrunching up in judgement. "I suppose we all have our _preferences_."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her. Did she really want to play this game? Kakashi slumped his shoulders forward and closed his eyes, as if utterly defeated. "She calls me other names."

Now Akira covered his mouth. "Other names? What names?"

"Names of other men."

"Aya-chan, that is no good! Even if he is an animal!"

Kakashi quickly opened his eyes and grabbed the djembe flying towards his head. She was livid. He smirked as she stomped away, grumbling insults all the way until she climbed back into the carriage. Yugao followed after her.

"That is quite a woman you have," Akira said, nodding in approval, man to man. The female musician rolled her eyes and walked away towards where her child played with a few others.

Kakashi smiled, starting to enjoy Akira's flamboyant personality. He handed the djembe back to Akira. "Thank you and sorry about this."

Akira laughed, taking the small instrument and putting it back in his satchel. "It is fine. It seems my caravan has managed to salvage our third wagon, and our career, thanks to you and yer friends. Truly we thank you."

"You're welcome. You said earlier you'll be traveling to the Land of Waves as well."

"Yes! Aya-chan said you'd be staying at the Salt and Pepper Inn. It is owned by our clients. They have us come multiple times a year. We perform close by the inn, too." Akira shrugged. "I'm sure if we ask nicely they'll let you and yer friends to join us."

Kakashi chuckled. "We will look forward to it then."

* * *

Finally, they crossed the Great Naruto Bridge and made it to the coastal inn. Indeed, it was beautiful. It had a classic ryokan appearance and was right near the coast. They were welcomed happily by the owners, whom Kakashi imagined also employed the musicians from earlier. They were an elderly couple.

As soon they were led to their room, Fuko whistled, "Whoa."

Tsunade had outdone herself, Kakashi realized upon entering the room. The shoji doors that made up the outer wall of the rooms were made out of glass instead of paper. The clear view overlooked the engawa and the coast. The view was spectacular—palm trees, sand gardens, a downward slope that spread out into a private shore. To the far left, a peninsula of green mountains curved into a crescent moon. The blue sea took the cake, though.

The fact that the most comfortable looking couch, low on the ground, curved around the room so anybody could simply rest and watch the sunset was purely an aesthetic bonus. Beside them, Yugao agreed. "Whoa."

Ayame gasped, delighted, momentarily forgetting her annoyance with him. She hurried to the glass doors and stared, wide eyed, into the distance. "I love it!" she exclaimed and the elderly innkeepers laughed.

"We are glad you think so," the man said and then they both bowed deeply. "We hope the Hokage and his new bride have a wonderful stay."

Kakashi raised a brow. "It seems Tsunade-sama was very forthcoming with you."

The elderly couple straightened and grinned. "Oh, yes," the wife said. "But don't worry. Your secret is safe with us. Tsunade-chan was clear about that, _Kumo-san_."

Kakashi nodded and gave a bow of his own. Yugao and Fuko followed suit as Ayame hurried to do so. "We will be relying on you these two weeks, then."

After the innkeepers left and had their employees bring their belongings, Kakashi and Ayame silently entered the room they would be sharing. The bed was huge and at the foot was a chest. The theme of the room was seashells, of course. To the side was a door which probably led to the bathroom and to the other side was a small couch with seashell pillows. Kakashi glared at it.

He said, "I'm not sleeping on that couch."

Ayame huffed. "Well, I'm sure the floor will suit your needs just fine."

"I don't think so."

"Well, I'm not sleeping with you on the bed. Maybe Yugao-san can sleep here with me and you could—"

"Ayame, no. We can't do that to them." Yugao and Fuko were the two people in Konoha that were most privy to their private life but Kakashi refused to inconvenience them more than they had to with marital issues.

She must have understood because she frowned but did not try to fight him. "Well, what do you suggest?" she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her weight made her sink into the mattress three or four inches. By God it looked comfortable.

Kakashi walked around to the other side. Near the headboard were a ridiculous amount of unnecessary pillows. He grabbed a few and tossed them in the middle of the bed. He was sure it was bigger than a king size. "We could…build a fort?" They were behaving like children. Immature, shameless, incurably prideful children.

Meeting his gaze from across the room, narrowed in contemplative, she agreed.

" _Fine_."

"Fine _."_

* * *

She was restless.

After dinner, the four of them made their way back to their rooms, and she was exhausted. Kakashi said he would be going out for a bit before disappearing and Ayame took the opportunity to take a nice, hot bath and get ready for bed.

This place was wonderful and the commodities were endless. But Kakashi was right. Even though they were upset at one another, they couldn't put Fuko or Yugao in the middle of it. It was not fair to them. It was hard not to notice the awkward atmosphere in the dining hall between everyone.

Making up her mind, Ayame got out of the bath and changed into a fluffy blue yukata, a courtesy of the inn.

She walked out into the living room and spotted Yugao lounged out on the couch, reading one of the many magazines on the coffee table. They missed the sunset during dinner but the stars in the sky were still a sight to behold. She admired the view quietly for a few moments before she remembered why she walked into the living space.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Yugao-san." And she really was. The kunoichi worked so much and had been extra attentive to her since last night. Ayame didn't want to annoy the beautiful woman with frivolous problems.

Yugao smiled up at her and closed the magazine, sitting up. "Anything for you, Daishukujo-sama."

Ayame blushed, and looked at her pink toenails. "I'm sorry about making a scene last night with the Hokage." And all throughout today.

When she looked back up at the kunoichi, she was laughing. "Oh no. You have nothing to apologize for. It's completely _his_ fault."

After a moment of pause, Ayame nodded slowly.

Yugao stood and walked over to her, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Can I speak freely with you, Daishukujo-sama?"

"Oh, yes. Please."

"Kakashi-sama can be a little…emotionally inept when it comes to you."

Ayame stared. She'd never seen Yugao be so verbal nor did she realize others were aware of how Kakashi behaved around her. It was a little amazing, especially since Yugao was obviously taking Ayame's side. The woman had put up with her crying all last night.

"What should I do?" Ayame asked, not able to help herself. She needed advice and if she could not get it from Yumi, she would ask Yugao. She seemed to know Kakashi well enough.

Yugao crossed her arms, expression thoughtful. "Well, he's a man. It's pretty easy to get back at them for crossing a line and then acting like it was never crossed in the first place."

"Get back at him?"

Yugao nodded, hands on her hips. "That's right, Ayame-sama. Get back at him. He's no longer your Hokage. He's your husband."

Ideas swelled and formed in Ayame's eyes. Could she? _Would_ she? Her face was probably red but she knew what she had to do— _err_. Sort of.

"Um, Yugao-san. I may…I will need some help."

Yugao smirked and Ayame tried not to become too concerned with the kunoichi's devious expression.

* * *

 _The flower that smiles to-day_

 _To-morrow dies;_

 _All that we wish to stay_

 _Tempts and then flies._

 _What is this world's delight?_

 _Lightening that mocks the night,_

 _Brief even as bright._

 _-Percy B. Shelley, Stanza I of Mutability_


	13. A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part II

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **I am literally over the moon with all the feedback! Thanks for being patient too. The Holidays kicked my butt.**

 **Happy New Year!**

* * *

A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part II

* * *

 _He was possessed and she—his possessor. He had kissed her a dozen ways above the neck, having bypassed modest first kisses, seizing her as if she were his seasoned lover. She attempted to keep up—and it was not enough._

 _And then her neck was no longer a boundary his hands could not cross. His fingers slithered down and touched—and finally the ties of her robe—he made sure their eyes locked as he pulled it loose. She did not stop him, eyes wide—filled with anxiety—filled with desire. Their lips never parted._

 _And then he was walking forward, guiding her back until the rear of her knees hit the sofa that would haunt their dream—and she was falling. But she was not alone. He was close, pulling at his own clothing—mouth never far from hers._

 _He took and took and she did not stop him—when she cried, he did not stop. Not when he disrobed her, or turned her, or made love without confessing how sweet it truly was._

* * *

Kakashi stepped out of the Kuni hospital room and closed the door.

"Thank you, Tsunami-san."

Inari's mother, Tazuna's daughter, gave him a small bow in the hallway. She had taken to volunteering at the hospital. Made sense—Kakashi rationalized. She had tended him back to health all those years ago, when team seven was brand spanking new and the Great Naruto Bridge had yet to be finished. The small island had changed team seven indefinitely—it had changed her family too.

Tsunami smiled. "Musicians brought him and the young woman this afternoon—but I'm guessing you figured that on your own, Kakashi-sensei." She furrowed her brows. "The doctors say the infection is being caused by a poison. Our antidotes are only slowing down the…inevitable. They say."

He nodded. "I'll be sending for Sakura. She's become an accomplished medic." The hint of pride was unmistakable.

Tsunami eyes twinkled. "In the medical community, I've heard stories about the Godaime's protégée. How is that girl? Back then, she'd been so smitten with the serious one. Sasuke, was his name."

Kakashi half smiled at the memories. "Some things never change."

She chuckled lightly and then her cheeks darkened a shade. "You have changed."

"How so?" He leaned against the door, crossing his arms. It had been seven years, after all. And it was not like he was in a hurry to butt heads with Ayame again. She drove him wild and he probably enjoyed it too much. She would be asleep by the time he returned.

"You certainly weren't the Hokage or a married man." When Tsunami housed his recovery after the fights with Zabuza and Haku, he had certainly not been Hokage and she'd recently widowed. He had also been single.

Kakashi smirked. "You heard."

She gave an offhanded wave, swishing away the conversation topic and probably the old memories. "I'm sure the entire shinobi world has heard. Well, sensei, it's late. You go on with whatever you're doing in Kuni." She smiled kindly, personality the same as before: a good person that'd been through too much loss—yet strong enough to overcome. "I'll let the doctor know to expect a medic from Konoha. Two days?"

"One."

She nodded despite her surprise and turned, waving as she walked away. "You should stop by sometime for dinner. Otousan and Inari-chan would love to see you both."

Kakashi returned to the inn later that night. He stopped by the front desk and made a quick telephone call to Tsunade (great inventions). Sakura was on her way. Unfortunately, the fevered man had lost consciousness. Upon further inspection of his decaying arm, Kakashi confirmed the tattoo was the same summoning mark as Tanako Raiden's. Kakashi had been careful in the hospital room as the gypsy girl, who'd been with the man in the wagon, slept at his bedside.

Kakashi wondered now if she was part of the caravan at all.

Entering the room, he noticed the fort Ayame built in the middle of the bed. Two long pillows lay between him and his bride. He almost rolled his eyes, recollecting the afternoon.

As much a pain in the neck as she was, he could not say he didn't enjoy when she got riled up. He was the git, forgetting he was a seasoned shinobi when around her. Admittedly, Kakashi was relieved she treated him as a man and not a kage anymore. Cold formality did not suit her or satisfy him.

 _Death and life are in the power of the tongue_ and his words last night had not brought much life to the delicate relationship with his wife. They'd been getting on so well…

Kakashi showered and went to rest on his side of the fort in nothing but boxer briefs. It was not as if she would see him. Spring was basically a synonym for summer in Kuni and he was getting up in a few hours for a run. Arms behind his head and body above the covers, he stared at the opposite wall composed of curtains. Curious, he got up to pull them wide open and was pleased to find the entire wall was also glass, as the living area.

Tsunade chose well. It was a sight. She must have traveled through here many times for the innkeepers to be so fond of her or for Tsunade herself to confide in them.

He was sure the Godaime knew of Ayame's condition and she was _exacerbating_ the situation—getting back at him for stepping out of the role of Hokage to accommodate his flesh. He did not blame her. It was a tactic he used on a younger team seven, impressing upon them the responsibility of circumstances they had brought on themselves. If Sakura ignored Naruto, Kakashi would ignore Sakura's incessant questions. If Sasuke strategized without the team, Kakashi would not include him in plans—if Naruto attacked without thinking, then he would find himself more bruised after a sparring.

They had been so cute back then.

Kakashi sighed, lying on the bed as before. He glanced at Ayame. Despite their current estrangement, he liked _this_. It had been over twenty five years since he shared a home with anyone—and now the privilege would be privately his, always. And never had anyone shared his bed so permanently as this woman would.

Back towards him, the covers barely went up to her hips. Her night shirt, a pastel green, rode up mid back, flesh exposed. He itched to touch her, to have her again but—he knew she would not. Before, he had been so sure she wanted... After realizing she was not ready, he thought she would only cry but then she attacked him. He did prefer the latter—especially above her habit of ignoring him.

He'd been mistaken. Traveling, she'd been sweet and smiles all day. Eternally herself. She offered to massage him and looked so uncertain suddenly when he turned to her. He knew she was thinking of their situation, and it too was never far from his mind, so he kissed her. She responded and he mistook her response for something else.

It wouldn't be the first time. This time, however; she stopped him.

With that trail of thought, a familiar concern entered his mind. Was her reaction in the tent the reaction she meant to have during that fateful encounter? Kakashi closed his eyes, brows pinched together.

* * *

Ayame pressed her lips tightly together when she stepped into the kitchen area. Kakashi and Fuko both looked up from their late breakfast (room service was a magical thing). Her husband's brows creased in confusion and Fuko made of point of eating his breakfast faster, red bangs covering his downcast eyes.

Yugao, hair in a higher than usual ponytail, strode passed her to the refrigerator. The kunoichi wore high waisted shorts and a bikini top. "You should drink water before we head out, Ayame-sama," she suggested nonchalantly.

"Head out?" Kakashi said, eyes on his wife.

"Yes, sir. We thought we'd take a look at the market for some swim suits. The one the Daishukujo brought doesn't fit her anymore—understandably. And since the first thing on the honeymoon's itinerary is the beach, she'll definitely need that."

"…"

Ayame could only blush as Yugao handed her a small glass of water, grinning at her. Ayame glanced at Kakashi and realized his gaze was directed at her legs. Self-consciously, she reached with her free hand and pulled the dress down. It bounced back above mid-thigh. The baby blue number with miniature palm trees belonged to Yugao. With wide eyes, Ayame stared at Yugao in question.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Ayame was sure the spaghetti strap dress was supposed to be a little longer, but her butt and thighs stretched too much of the bottom fabric. Now she was wishing Yugao hadn't done her hair into two braids. If she'd worn it down she could use it to cover the _almost_ exposed cleavage.

It didn't really feel like revenge, despite Yugao's assurances. Ayame just felt silly and very naked. Kunoichi dressed like this all the time but Ayame _did not_. The dress wasn't tight in a constrictive manner, but it hugged her shape and did not hide the tiny swell of her belly. Yugao said it was fine—that no one knew them here except the innkeepers.

Ayame dared another glance at her husband. To her dawning understanding, he was annoyed.

Kakashi stood. He was wearing under armor with sweat at the collar and underarms. Fuko-san, too. They had been gone when she awoke and throughout breakfast. Had they been sparring—or maybe exercising? Kakashi's hair clung to his forehead and his arms glistened. Had they just arrived? The room service still looked hot. She and Yugao must've taken their time in preparing…

"I'm going too," he said. "Fuko, you can finish your breakfast."

Ayame's gaze snapped up, trying to ignore the fact that she'd been checking him out too, "But you're all sweaty."

"And you're half naked." He shrugged. "Semantics."

Ayame smirked tightly. "Well don't hold us back." With the sharp comment, Ayame gulped down the glass, dropped it by the sink and made her way towards the door with Yugao at her heels, hoping her feelings caught up with the smugness in her voice.

* * *

Kakashi watched as Ayame and Yugao fawned over fabrics and trinkets at kiosks throughout the beach town. Ayame did not like it, and did her best to ignore him, but he made sure to walk directly behind her to limit wondering eyes. And eyes were certainly wondering.

He was sure this was Yugao's idea of retribution, and definitely Yugao's dress, yet the kunoichi made sure to glare at males whose attention lingered too long on the Daishukujo as she cooed over pretty things. Once, after purchasing a white chiffon wrap, Yugao made a point of tying it around Ayame's waist and encouraged her to "just wear it." The three of them seemed to relax a little more after that.

Honestly, there were other ways to perturb him without making themselves uncomfortable. And then there were those braids.

My God, she looked young in them, despite the mature dress—despite the telling curve of her abdomen. He was only ten years older, and she was as much of an adult as he was, but he could not reconcile the fact that he'd taken a part of her when she had clearly not been ready—was still not ready. The tent incident had reminded him of that too clearly.

Would he think this every time they fought? Every time she wore braids?

A gleam to the right caught his attention, and Kakashi automatically stepped up to the pet supple stand full of toys and treats. Ayame stepped next to him and he glanced at her, curious.

She beamed at him, eyes twinkling as they had at all the other kiosks. "For your doggies," she whispered in awe and then her brows furrowed, probably remembering she had some sort of revenge plan with Yugao that involved little clothing and ignoring his existence.

He deducted she would turn and leave him, rectifying the small hiccup in the coup d'état. But suddenly, her right arm curled around his bicep and she leaned her side into him. Her attention and relentless smile was aimed at the vendor and the vendor alone. Kakashi turned, _slowly_ , to look at the salesman as well.

"One of each doggie toy, please!" Ayame happily said, pressing closer into his arm, and the salesman looked to Kakashi, surprised. There were over thirty different toys and each was at tourist pricing. Kakashi nodded— _slowly_.

Without second guessing the nod, the salesman quickly filled two bags and rang the register with an excessive smile, gaze zipping between the two of them.

Sweetly, Ayame added, "My husband will pay." Her chest pressed closer into him, elbow nearly encompassed by—

Kakashi reached into his pocket and produced the needed amount. As soon as the receipt was presented to him, Ayame detached herself and skipped towards another stand.

"Quite the little lady."

Thankfully, the salesman's gaze was directed at him and not his wife's backside. "Thank you," Kakashi said. He had no qualms about staring after Ayame himself, puzzled.

It was not much later, walking down the street, that Yugao disappeared into the crowd to take the "doggie toys" and shopping bags to the inn and Ayame slowed her pace to walk beside him. And hold his hand.

The action was not new. They'd done it at the village long enough, for appearances, but even when she had been upset at him then she would not want to hold hands. And she was supposed to be upset now. They certainly had no appearances to keep here—yet. He realized what she could be doing. But she was not the type— _Yugao_.

As soon as an explanation formed in his mind, without saying a word to him or looking to him, Ayame's hand traveled up his forearm and looped her elbow around his. Her other hand came around to gently wrap her fingers around his wrist. He stayed silent. Although he somewhat understood what she was doing, he did not know how to respond to it.

He kept a casual pace as they continued to walk without speaking. She did not look to him but kept her gaze toward, _humming_ , as if this was normal—as if she did not hold anything against him presently.

It was dry. His mouth.

"I'm hungry." She glanced up at him then, huge eyes framed with thick lashes. Despite the nonchalant, touchy-feely ploy, there was unmistakable red smacked across her cheeks. "The baby is hungry," she whispered, eyes fluttering away in more embarrassment. "And my feet hurt." For effect, her hand stroked her belly. It was so small, the convex swell of his child, but he could see it. He could see it for the first time.

"Yeah," he said. "Let's get you something to eat."

She nodded quietly and continued to hold him as he stopped to speak to a few locals regarding a good place to grab lunch. He ignored the way she rested her head on his shoulder as they walked—he ignored the caresses on his arm and the way she made sure to tell every passerby he spoke to that they were newlyweds.

As they sat at a table overlooking a part of the ocean, she did not speak to him. But even as she looked towards the sea, the side of her small toe touched the side of his. Each time the server passed by, however; he became the most interesting thing and she would make a point of gazing at him and throw smiles. As soon as the server left, Ayame's gaze fell to the ocean again.

But that toe—it did not leave his.

He ignored it all because he knew what she was doing. On their way back to the inn, Ayame held him as she did before.

He tried, "Ayame—"

"—Maybe tomorrow I can buy some souvenirs for my nephews and otousan."

Kakashi did not reply right away. "They will appreciate it."

She nodded and no more words were exchanged until they reached the inn.

Upon entering the rooms, Yugao grabbed Ayame from him, making sure to throw Kakashi a look on their way inside _his_ room.

Fuko looked on from the couch as the women disappeared into the honeymooner's suite. "Ayame-sama seems to have found a faithful shinobi."

Kakashi followed his gaze. "It seems that way. How's your arm?"

Standing, Fuko smiled. "Better. Thank you for letting me rest."

"Yeah. Thanks for putting up with us."

"Hey," Fuko smiled, "A vacation for the Hokage is a vacation for his personal guard too. It's an honor."

Kakashi smirked. "Let's hit the water then. Those two will meet us soon."

And the two did. Kakashi was glad they had a private beach to themselves, minus the catering employees that would come every so often to offer them refreshments and snacks (much to Ayame's utter appreciation).

He sat back on a reclining chair, huge umbrella blocking the sun. With a half smile, he watched Ayame's excitement about burying Fuko, glad she was enjoying herself despite everything. Even Yugao, presently driving him crazy by making it her mission in life to scantily dress his wife, seemed content.

The kunoichi had been reluctant to be the new Daishukujo's keeper. But as Kakashi assumed, after serving Ayame for a few weeks, Yugao had quickly become attached to the younger woman in the quiet manner Yugao became attached to others. Ichiraku Ayame was a lily among thorns. Her kindness was hard to ignore—especially when her kindness looked a lot like Hayate's. Now Yugao's loyalty was clearly towards Ayame, as it should be.

Kakashi was content with the idea of not doing paperwork for two weeks but being away from the village for luxurious reasons was strange to him. The most responsibility he had on this trip was protecting these three and keeping them safe from otherwise mundane occurrences, like bad bargaining.

Fuko jumped out of the sand and made the women laugh as he shook like a dog and got sand on them. He ran towards the water as Yugao followed after him and declared a race to the rock formation a quarter of a mile into the ocean. Ayame simply stood by the shore and rinsed off, cheering for Yugao. When the two ANBU started to spare out on the water, Ayame turned back and made her way towards Kakashi.

Of course, an employee came up beside Kakashi's laid out body with the ice cream cone she had ordered. Ayame thanked the young man kindly and happily started on the dessert.

She wore a florescent purple two piece, shamelessly showing a barely formed belly. There was definitely a curve. Instead of covered by a thin layer of palm trees, it was completely bare. She turned towards the shore again but did not leave his side. She still had those braids but now with ribbons at the end, an excessive amount of sunscreen, pink shades, and to top it all off: a chocolate ice cream cone. She licked once, twice.

She promptly joined him on the towel by plopping down next to his thighs. Her sandals were just as florescent and frilly as her suit, shades as pink as her fingernails.

Kakashi smiled. "Good afternoon." Never mind they had already spent three hours together out there. He stayed under the umbrella the whole time. If he had to take himself out of the equation for a few hours for Fuko and Yugao to enjoy themselves with Ayame, then he did not mind. Lying down and doing nothing was a privilege of its own for a kage.

"Hello." She was short with him but sat close, licking away. Perhaps her mood was easing up with all the snacks.

"I'm sorry about before." He meant it. He did not like when she ignored him or when they fought. It reminded him of before they had embraced in her apartment—when he feared she would not marry him.

Ayame frowned and stared at her ice cream, debating what to make of his apology. Her shoulders dropped, sighing, resigning herself to whatever opinion she formulated in her thoughts. She held out the cone. "Want some?"

He held up a hand to take it from her, not willing to negate the possible peace offering.

"...Thank you."

She looked at him expectantly with a soft smile and he slowly brought the ice cream to his mouth. He could already smell the sugar. He took a bite and tried not to make a face at how sweet it was.

She turned her head in consideration. "You don't like sugary things."

He handed the cone back, drawing his tongue over his front teeth. He sucked at the sweetness that relentlessly clung to his gums. He felt himself swallowing even after the dairy had melted down his esophagus. He cleared his throat.

She bit into the cone, watching him. She smiled again. "Want some more?"

"No, thank you." Was she trying to kill him? She shrugged and kept eating. Her free hand massaged her belly and he wondered if she knew she was doing it. It was extremely minor but the convex swell was undeniable. He wanted to feel it but considering his grand statement of wanting a "physical relationship," perhaps it was best to keep his hands to himself.

* * *

He was fumbling in his sleep again.

The night of their wedding too, she'd woken up randomly to find her new husband mumbling in his sleep, hand rubbing at the center of his chest. Where his heart was.

Now he was doing it again. Ayame stared, enthralled with the sleeping man before her. Kakashi's brows were furrowed and the hand that rested on his chest would scratch every so often, as if he was trying to get something out.

And then, she could not believe, a liquid drop accumulated as the edge of one of his lashes and then slid down his face. It disappeared somewhere in his hairline. Her own eyes watered.

He was having a nightmare.

Kakashi, the man who had it all together and always knew what to do, was crying in his sleep. She thought about Raiden and Haruhi and how much more difficult life was for some while others went through it with mediocre problems. Sure, Ayame had experienced her fair share of drama, especially living somewhere like Konoha. Her mother had died and her sister was not the best, but most of the problems Ayame currently had were her own fault. She knew that.

But she was not so sure with Kakashi's past. They did not know very much about each other, and what she did know was built on village rumors. All of it was bad but she did not know.

Ayame decided to get closer to his sleeping body, heart aching for the man she loved. He had apologized at the beach but it was not enough—it would never be enough until he loved her honestly.

As stealthily as she could, she pushed the blankets down with her feet and began to crawl towards his side, moving the pillow fort. All his trembling stopped. She leaned closer. Had the dream passed?

"Ayame."

She yelped, startled at the sound of his voice. His eyes were still closed.

"Kakashi-san?"

His opened his eyes and his head turned on the pillow to face her.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh, you were..." _You were crying_.

His gaze lowered from her eyes to her chest. She looked down too.

* * *

When she demurely batted her gaze back up at him, and did not fix the drooping tank, Kakashi nearly stopped breathing.

He thought it had been all in his head but it was not. She was doing it on purpose. He asked to have a physical relationship and she teased him—was teasing him now. His gaze fell from hers again, taking in what she was not hiding. The camisole tank had been stretched low during the night and the transparent color hid nothing from him.

And then she laid down next to him. She was trembling as she reached for his covers—

Kakashi snapped into a sitting position. "What are you doing?"

She blushed madly but was not _getting away_. "I thought maybe...we could..."

Kakashi gulped. She was trying to kill him. The moment Tsunade said honeymoon he knew this could happen. They were married, and she was incredibly enticing but he couldn't. _Not like this._ He thought his apology had been enough at the beach and he made sure to meet Sakura at the hospital after Ayame had fallen asleep for the night. But coming back and waking up to _this_ behavior—how was he supposed to—

"Ayame..."

"It's okay, Kakashi-san. We'll just sleep."

Her painted fingernails sprawled on his chest and lightly pushed. Not knowing how to reply, he slowly fell back with the pace of her pushing. Even with a shirt he could feel the warmth of her hand over his sternum. When she dipped her legs under his cover, he did not stop her. Her braid came undone during the nighttime and she was as delectable as she had been all day. He stayed exactly where she put him.

Ayame snuggled her nose into his shoulder and he did not move. His pillow was now 'their' pillow.

Kakashi did not sleep that night. He was sure Ayame had meant to keep it simple and only lay next to him but once she fell into a deep sleep, she subconsciously altered her position. Not in an obnoxious way as a twelve year old Naruto would, but comfortably where her body curved with his.

She moved one hand across his ribs and the other lay still between them. Her nose was no longer touching him and that was not the problem. The problem was her leg. Still on her side, her left leg bent over his, knee resting on the middle of his thigh.

Her knee had not been as high five minutes ago and he feared the growing route.

* * *

 _One week later…_

"I don't mind taking you, Ayame."

She looked between Kakashi and the rock formation out in the water with great unsure, determining if one without the other was possible. Yugao and Fuko were laying out back at the shore. Kakashi and she had been the only ones to swim out.

Kakashi simply stayed where he was, hands slowly moving back and forth with the waves. He waited as she fought an internal battle with what seemed like great difficulty. She closed her eyes, as if finally accepting that she could not have the barrier reef without his help and so she paddled to him without a word, as if he should know what she wanted from him with only silence.

He sighed and climbed onto the beginning of the rocky slope that would lead them to the object of her curiosity. Yugao and Fuko had discovered the rock formation earlier in the week, realizing it was not rock but a barrier reef. On the opposite side of it, they assured, was a community of colorful sea animals. Ayame had been so excited to see it for herself but she realized about two minutes ago she would not be able to swim over on her own, especially when it came to climbing over the reef.

Ayame reached for him and he easily pulled her up and out of the water. "Careful with the sea urchins," he said and she gasped, taking in the spiked creatures coating various pockets of the reef. He did not comment as she gripped his hand tightly. She stepped everywhere he did. Reaching the top, they began to step down the other side of the reef. Her eyes widened as the waves softly lapped at the rocks below.

"It's okay. I got you."

He lowered them into the water and she clung to his forearms desperately.

"Deep water is kind of scary!" she said, breathless. He could feel her body sway in the water but he remained still, chakra balancing him in one place. " _Ohmygoshohmygos_ h," she repeated.

He was glad she did not say anything when he turned her to see the other side of the reef, hoping to relax her with the exotic view. Through the clear water, you could see the multicolor variety of coral and fish.

"Oh—it's _beautiful_."

Kakashi agreed. It was.

A giant manta ray passed by them and his brows raised when she spun around and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, knees anchoring on his hips. Her breasts pressed against his collarbone. She whimpered.

"It's alright," he assured, "look over here at these small guys."

Focusing chakra to his feet, Kakashi walked through the water, splash occasionally lapping at their necks. He was glad it was not a windy day, or the pull of the waves would be too much to walk through even with chakra control.

As he had all week, he tried to ignore the excessive touching from Ayame's part and pointed out the names of a few fish he knew. She seemed genuinely curious and praised his knowledge but he could tell being in open water like this, despite the beauty of the small reef, frightened her. Especially when bigger fish zoomed by.

"We'll be okay in these waters?" she asked again. It was not what she asked or how that made him hesitate to answer. It was the physical way she did it. Her cheek pressed against his, lips nearly enveloping his earlobe.

"..."

"Sensei?" Her knees slid up his hips and then forward, locking her ankles around his waist.

For the first time, he felt the curve of his child press against the meeting of his ribs and his heart contracted over his sternum. He withdrew his face from her cheek to stare at her.

"Don't punish me like this."

He should not have asked her about sex back at the tent. But enough was enough. She kept at it even though he apologized—with Yugao's clothing and the touching—and crawling by his side at night. He had not slept in a week.

She avoided eye contact and returned to holding his shoulders, cheek on cheek. She ignored his plea.

For the first time since she stormed into his office, demanding to know of Tanako Raiden's whereabouts, Kakashi felt anger towards her. She could not do this. A memory of her fully submitted to him flashed through his mind, chin tipped back, nearly sobbing at his touches.

It would not end well. For a moment, he dismissed his adoration for her in pursuit of sweet retribution. She had made this week a very long week. And there was still one more to go.

Kakashi kissed her.

It was nothing like the one from the tent. This kiss paralleled their very first kiss, demanding—full of frustration. Willing her mouth to open, Kakashi could have laughed at her reaction. Ayame only inhaled sharply and stayed as still as she could, with random spurts of surprised gasps.

Like their first kiss, she didn't know how to return it. It had only been when he became gentler that night that she was able to reciprocate. Now, he did not think she withheld from inexperience. She withheld because she was punishing him. Because she did not want him as he wanted her.

From the very beginning, he had been the one who wanted more.

A crush was not love. And her affection for him, birthed from loneliness, did not satisfy him. She had no right to punish with this. _Anything but this._

He did not care if she hit him. Or screamed at him. He could even accept if she never wanted him to touch her again. He deserved that, for taking her life away and making her the Daishukujo. But if they were stuck with one another for the rest of their lives, she could not do what she had this week. She could not dangle love and then snatch it away when he reached for it. He could not accept that.

Mouth leading, he curved down to the pulse of her neck and pressed a sweet kiss. She tasted like salt water. He descended to the muscle that connected neck to shoulder. He ignored when she grabbed his hair and pulled back, snapping back to reality. He let his tongue lead the way back up her pulse and softly bit down. The harder she pulled his hair, the more he rolled the thin flesh between his teeth.

"No!" She moaned, thighs flexing around him. The moment the word left her lips, Kakashi removed his mouth. He dropped his forehead to the area he nearly devoured, bruises already forming up and down her neck.

They held on to one another behind the reef, breath labored, ocean moving.

"Take me back." It was a command and he heeded it.

He walked through the water again. His anger only swelled when despite her negation, she was still wrapped around him like a damn python.

Is this what she wanted? To frustrate him, dangling what he wanted with no promise of anything. It was like when she began to fancy him. She would flirt and touch his hands and he could do nothing as she batted her lashes and passed suggestive glances. She kissed him at Naruto's wedding—it had tipped over all the control he had put in place the moment he awoke from death. Her disappointed expression, and then disappearing at the Uzumaki wedding, had all but made him run to her apartment.

But now it was worse. He said the wrong thing—he knew it—and she was punishing him. Kakashi was a man that never fumbled. But he fumbled with her. He always fumbled with her.

Before she did not know of his feelings, but in spite of knowing them now, she taunted him.

He was not an inconsiderate man, but today, she would not continue this.

When he lifted them onto the reef, he wrapped an arm around her waist and briskly led her up and over. Instead of taking their time climbing down, he held her close and jumped onto two open parts of the reef. They were back in the water in no time. Before letting her gather her bearings, he kept her as his side and used chakra at his feet to walk quickly through the ocean's sand.

"Ka-Kakashi-san, I can do it on my own now—"

"We need to talk."

That shut her up but now her huge eyes were on him, wide and scared. She desperately began to look around and anywhere but at him.

Reaching the shore, Fuko and Yugao glanced at one another as the two breezed past them. Yugao made to follow but he gave her a look of his own. The female ANBU made no further move to follow.

He held Ayame securely up the slope towards the private engawa. Arriving in front, she stopped walking, pulling him back, when he aimed for the sliding doors to their private abode.

"We can't go in like this this!" She said, pulling him to the shower head just outside.

Kakashi glanced at their legs, coated with sand. She placed her hand on his abs and positioned him under before she unceremoniously turned on the freezing water. He held his breath. Noticing her smirk, he wrapped an arm around her again and pulled her to his chest. She screamed and he smirked as she battled against him.

"It's so cold!" She cried, forehead pressing to his collarbone. She tucked her hands between them, trying to protect any part of her from the cold since she could not fight his strength. Her palms rested over his diaphragm. After a pause, she slid them down above his trunks, fingers caressing his happy trail.

He sighed. Reaching around, he turned off the water. She looked up at him, hair dripping on her face. He frowned, anger fading because good God he was obsessed with her. "I'm sorry, Ayame. I shouldn't have asked that of you while traveling to Kuni. But...please don't do this. It's unfair to me."

She rested her forehead against him again and did not say anything, hands as they were. Kakashi was confused. What could she want? The scent of tears hit his nose and he frowned at the low sob she released.

"I love you."

Surprised at the admission, Kakashi immediately said, "I do, too."

In his arms, she glanced up again, eyes wide with disbelief.

And he knew it was this.

Kakashi lowered his forehead to hers. "Of course I love you," he reassured softly and closed his eyes, letting her silently cry in his arms. Had he not said it at their wedding?

He sighed. This was what she wanted but he was too busy thinking about her comfort and his own shortcomings.

"Sometimes you sa-say things and the-they hurt m-me!" she wept. "And sometimes you-you don't say things you're supposed to and my thoughts really bring me down."

He did not want to hurt her.

"I did not think to say it." It was true. He did not think to until that very moment. Because she said it. He had been waiting on her. Kakashi knew she liked him (she had said it plenty of times) but he had not known how much. Even now, as they confessed, her love was newer than his.

"Since when?" she asked, desperate.

"..." It meant so much to her.

"Since Pein? Is it true?"

He nodded, paying attention to her expression. She did not look happy.

She wept more and removed herself from his embrace. Her fingers constantly swiped at her cheeks, tears a nuisance. He stood there, not knowing what to do with his hands.

"Yo-you knew I li-liked you and you di-didn't do anything! You made me think the worse about myself back then when it could have been so simple. You lo-loved me but just came into my home and had sex with me, as if it would be enough. How could you do that to me? I never wanted to be that kind of woman! I would have been so willing to be in a relationship with you. I've had to lie to everyone I love! Why not say something..."

Her eyes searched his, gaze screaming 'am I not good enough?'

He didn't know what to say."There was the war..."

He had nothing. He became Hokage and she was Teuchi's daughter who seemed happy working for her father and he did not want to intervene. But she would not like that answer. Other than that, he had no real excuse. He had not said anything because he had thought it was not a good match, but looking at her now, having her now, he did not think so anymore. But she was asking about the past. She wanted to know but he could not tell her. It was not a real excuse.

When he did not answer, Ayame dropped her face into her hands and cried some more.

 _It could have been so simple._

At the moment, he felt the weight of all his mistakes by the weight of the singular mistake he made with her.

That night only happened because he was not honest with her. He should have kissed her back at Naruto's wedding and been honest, calling it a day, starting a relationship. He should not have followed her home and taken advantage of her new feelings to satiate the depraved parts of his flesh. The sex had been momentary and glorious, but it had not satisfied what he wanted from her.

"I just need some time," she finally said through the sniffles and his silence. She tried to smile reassuringly but it was pitiful. "I just need some time is all. And maybe we can work on us again."

She began to turn but he gently encircled her dainty wrists, pulling her close, desiring her. He leaned down and softly kissed her mouth.

"Don't be upset, please." They loved one another, after all was said and done.

Her doe eyes gleamed with tears. "I can't help it—this is just like when Yuu—" She stopped herself from finishing her sentence, eyes closing in painful recollection. He let go of her.

Menrui Yuu.

She walked inside, leaving him properly ashamed.

Kakashi rubbed his forehead, frustrated. He made her recall a past heartache and it frustrated him. He did not want to be compared to another man but it was not as if he knew what he was being compared to. She had stopped herself from completing her sentence but it was too late. Kakashi knew too much.

He walked off, making sure to pass Yugao and Fuko. Her absence by his side hinted that they go to her in proximity. He continued down the shore.

Hatake Kakashi, Hokage and master of a thousand jutsu, could not think of a way to remedy marital issues.

* * *

Her hands trembled as she washed her hair in the shower, as she brushed wet knots away, as she tried to occupy herself and knit later on.

Ayame stared out the open engawa towards the ocean, legs crossed on the couch in the living space. Yugao and Fuko were nowhere in sight but she was sure they were near. The sun was setting, oranges and pinks gleaming from behind the mountains and over the sea.

He finally said it. He admitted how much he cared, then and now. Why wasn't she satisfied?

He would have took his love to the grave if she hadn't become pregnant.

He must have had his reasons for being so quiet, for ignoring her advances. But he...he had loved her and it hadn't been enough to chase after her. What kind of love was that? When Ayame loved, friends or family, she would do anything to keep them by her side. To let them know how much they mattered.

The books and the films all had it wrong. She thought of Yuu and Kakashi. When men fell in love, they ran away from the women. At least women like Ayame. They ran and didn't look back.

She watched the sun fall more into the distant sea, a dissolving orange pill.

Her mind rationalized the unjust comparison. Yuu and Kakashi were different men, in different circumstances, and in utterly different career paths. Whatever Yuu ran away from could not be the same thing that had Kakashi keep love to himself.

She _knew_ that. But.

Silent tears slid down her cheeks and she put the knitting hoop to the side. She laid down, resting her head on a decorative seashell pillow, falling in and out of sleep. Her shaky hands fell to her little baby.

Would she also not be good enough for her daughter or son? Was there something wrong with Ayame? Could she not be loved as she loved others? As she loved her sister Yumi and now Kakashi? What if she had the same response from the village?

Or was she being thick headed because she was still upset about his terrible approach to intimacy (again)? She wasn't sure. She was not used to these things.

Considering Yuu and their friendship that was not quite a friendship, Ayame had never loved like this. Or argued like this. It was too...intimate. And everything Kakashi said struck her personally, good or bad. It irrationally upset her or brought her joy without measure. She could not blame it on her hormones. It was as if every glance and every second spent with Kakashi only made her love grow for him. Every day, whether upset at one another or not, it was as if she could not help _but_ fall more and more in love.

Kakashi was—her heart raced and her half asleep state made her have dreams of colorful fish.

This week, she realized how responsive he was to her very presence. If she touched him, he'd glance at the point of contact for too long. If she leaned in close, he sat up straighter. If she walked in the room, he'd watch her every move. She never noticed before. He loved her and she wished she had noticed sooner.

The way he spoke and moved and looked at her—the way he touched her, with such need—she would love him until her dying day and she knew she would forgive him. This forgiveness was not like the one she gave Yuu or Yumi. This one was different. With as much love that she felt, she would forgive his faults, toss them as far as the east is from the west, and move on.

She would make this marriage work— _she needed it to work._

What mattered was that he loved her now, in the present. He became angry when she taunted him all week with the gentleness a woman in love treats a man. Because he wanted it. He loved it. He had wanted it for so long, and now that it was possible, she threw it in his face.

Ayame suddenly felt a great amount of shame, the colorful sea creatures becoming gray and dull. Her eyes blinked open at the darkening sky, lids heavy with the week's emotional rollercoaster.

* * *

Upon entering through the engawa glass screen, Kakashi immediately spotted his wife sleeping on the low couch. Her arms sprawled above her, causing her pale tank to rise. It left her midriff exposed to the night's chill. He closed the glass door. Her face was turned towards him with pouty lips, softly sniffling. She'd gone to sleep crying.

His heart lurched upwards. With it, his feet carried him to her and he knelt. His eyes scanned the flesh of her throat down to her breasts, lower to the curve of his child and then to the shorts that didn't do their job and thick thighs that pressed together subconsciously.

She moaned, "Kakashi?"

His gaze met her sleepy one. "Hey," he offered gently.

His heart only sped faster when her hand touched his cheek and her body turned to face him. The movement only caused her tank and shorts to rise higher. "Hey," he said again, breathless. "Let's get you to bed."

She sniffled some more. "I love you so much."

"I know." Her eyes blinked closed and tears rolled out from beneath her lashes. "Don't be mad at me," she begged in soft whispers. Her nimble fingers touched his chest and curled lightly around the fabric of his shirt. That tenderness again.

"Ayame..."

Her fingers found his collar and pulled. He succumbed and climbed beside her. There was not much room but she, half asleep, pressed her back as close as she could into the couch and he lay beside her, fronts nearly touching.

There was a second of pause and then he moved, drawing her up half on his body, heart running a mile a minute as she cuddled onto his side, nose and mouth on his neck. The arm that drew her close wrapped snuggly around her. And her knee bent to rest on his lap. He indulged himself and let his other hand rest on her creamy thigh.

His wife was falling asleep in his arms. It was intimate. It was vulnerable. It was downright arousing. By God, it was all he wanted—the curve of her abdomen on his side made him feel a hundred different emotions at once. Most notably, of course—love.

* * *

 _She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies._

 _-Lord G.G. Byron, Stanza I of 'She Walks in Beauty'_


	14. A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part III

**I do not own** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Also. These past reviews have been really encouraging and motivating. Inspiration eludes writers sometimes. Thank you.**

* * *

A Honeymoon on the Rocks, Part III

* * *

Ayame drifted in and out of slumber, sleep coming with each reassurance that Kakashi was beside her on the couch. Another time she awoke and he was carrying her—and another time, she was on the honeymoon bed. She was not used to sleeping with another person so closely, so she continued to wake, readjusting herself. She was almost sure Kakashi awoke each time she did. He slept lightly, her shuffling was probably an alarm. He never made her stop.

The last time she repositioned herself, she was simply facing him, and he at her, chests not quite touching. She drifted in and out. It all seemed like a dream as Ayame's eyes opened to orange light through the glass doors in the honeymoon suite.

Kakashi stood outside the doors of the suite, chatting with a pink haired woman. It was Sakura. Her hair was in a ponytail, fists on hips. Ayame slowly blinked, vision adjusting to the sunrise and the room that was not the living area.

Kakashi must have carried her.

Groggily, Ayame sat up on the bed, covers dropping to her waist. On cue, both shinobi paused in dialogue to glance at her. Ayame blushed and twiddled her fingers in greeting. Sakura, in full gear, waved happily back. The two resumed conversation.

Kakashi wore comfortable clothes, hair ruffled. Ayame's heart warmed. She scurried to the bathroom to wash her mouth and face, crawling back into bed as Kakashi wrapped up the conversation and Sakura gave a quick bow. He stepped inside, a bit somber but she noticed the way his eyes brightened when they met hers.

"Hey," he said and Ayame wished he didn't need to cover his scar or his birthmark. He was his maskless self, but altered. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," she replied, braid askew. She wanted to ask why Sakura had come, but she was afraid to involve herself in anything ninja related again. So instead she wondered about yesterday—about what happened now that they loved one another? They were married.

He climbed into bed. He sat with one leg on the bed, pointing towards her—nearly touching her—and the other was over the edge, hands resting on his knees. She smiled, pulling the covers up to her chest. He was so handsome.

"We should talk," he said.

"What do you want to know?" That was probably the right way to respond.

"You play drums?"

Ayame smile turned into a smirk. "A little. Yumi-nechan taught me."

"Your sister?" He was curious and she couldn't blame him. She didn't talk much about personal things outside of her present relationship with Kakashi. Neither did he. She did want to but she couldn't think of a time where either of them asked.

He smiled at her and her heart fluttered. Everything about him was so distracting. "Yeah."

Kakashi nodded. "You aren't close."

"I love my sister."

"I'm sure she loves you, too." He waited.

She was thoughtful. "Yumi travels sometimes with her family and I've never left Konoha until now. She loves doing that—and I love it now too. So I can be like my sister."

"Maybe in that, but not much else."

Her cheeks warmed, satisfied he thought so. She did love Yumi very much—but Yumi was not the same as when they were children. Even Ayame was not the same.

Kakashi looked away from her to the sunrise and then down at the mattress. She touched his face, winning his gaze. "I don't like those stickers on your face."

He chuckled. "They're skin films but I think I like stickers better."

"Do you wear them to protect yourself?"

"It's more to protect you."

"Oh. Because you're the Hokage?"

"Because I'm the Hokage."

Her eyes widened. "You're the what?" They exchanged soft chuckles at the running joke and then they were both smiling down at the bed, not quite sure how to breech the heavier topic.

He took both her hands in his, covers falling from her chest. Kakashi knew it was time to speak up—to not cause anymore confusion or isolate her feelings. He could assume it was about a year ago, when the friendliness started.

"When did you start to feel this way?"

Ayame smiled shyly. "Well...maybe over a year ago?" Yes. "You were visiting Ichiraku's with Naruto. Naruto said something about me being a great chef and you said it's because I'm a good person. You weren't really talking to me—"she laughed, embarrassed—"but I guess it stuck with me and I paid more attention to you. I realized I felt happy whenever you came around. A girl can't help but imagine wanting that feeling every day of her life."

"Ayame, I didn't know." He misjudged how sincere her affections were. He'd only thought it was a crush—it was not uncommon. Admirers were fine but he never entertained them.

Her smile softened. "You never asked. I tried to stand out when you came by but you never responded like I'd hoped. By the time Naruto's wedding came, I was…sad. And then when I—I, um, kissed your cheek and you didn't respond, it all toppled over and I was _really_ sad. I felt lonely."

She held his hands tighter and he felt like a fool. The light in her eyes dimmed remembering what he was remembering.

He said, "I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I think I understand a little now. You are the Hokage and maybe it didn't seem like you could fit me in?"

"Ayame, it's not like that."

"It's okay, Kakashi-san. I'm not a child, you know. I rationalized your indifference a thousand different ways. One of them, I guessed, was the reason."

They stared at one another for a few seconds and he exhaled. "You seemed happy where you were. I didn't want to take that away from you." It seemed like such a small reason now, after everything they've done and gone through.

Ayame searched his face. "I wanted to be happy with you."

He didn't say anything.

Her heart broke for him, tears emerging—he saw it on her face. "You give me happiness, Kakashi."

"If these past few months say anything—"

"—if they say anything, it's that we'll be happy," she was almost abrasive speaking. "These months have been hard, but," she choked up—"but I don't think I've ever been as happy before. To be with the one you love—being next to you—please don't be so hard on yourself!" Her hands traveled to his forearms and squeezed, knees rearranging to dig into the mattress. It was almost as if she were begging him to believe everything she said.

He never meant for her to pick up on the self-deprecation. It was the thorn on his side—she wasn't supposed to suffer for it—wasn't supposed to feel as if she had to be pull him out.

"Hey—hey, don't cry." He drew her near to his side, turning more towards her, and she hugged him tight. "I'm happy, too." He'd made her a promise that he would make her happy every day but perhaps he had spoken out of emotion. That did not mean he wouldn't still try. "I meant what I said after the wedding ceremony. When we fight, well, it feels like I made an empty promise."

She nodded into his chest, knowing. "I doubt myself when you get mad at me. Like twice." They both laughed.

"You've counted the times I've gotten mad?"

"It's hard not to!" Her hands planted on his chest so she could look at him. "You're so cool tempered. It's actually amazing."

"I'm blushing."

"Haha! Shut up! Now compliment me."

"You have a nice ass."

He was sure when a person made no noise while they laughed it meant they were so filled with hilarity they're body was shutting down. She even smacked his shoulder a few times to catch her breath.

He found himself smiling like an idiot. "It's my favorite part of you."

"Ka-Kakashi. Stopppp."

"Sometimes I just look at it and feel better about a lot of things."

He was basically holding her upright while she guffawed.

* * *

In the evening time, they went to see the musicians perform in the inn's venue. It was a long room separated with a rectangular stage running down the middle of it. The tables lined up against huge open windows. The wind wafted scents of salt water and coconut and the music was spectacular.

The musicians were exceptional. Ayame was enraptured by the woman who had held the child during the wagon incident. Her voice was incredible and one of the romantic songs made Yugao tear up and stare out the window the rest of the night. It was about lovers separating but hoping to reunite one day.

Kakashi caught himself staring at Ayame often and her responses to the sound of music. She hadn't let go of his hand throughout the show except to clap and then it was back to touching him.

After the performances, Akira came up to them in full sparkling wear. After greeting everyone and joking around, Akira bowed deeply to Kakashi. "Thank you, milord. For helping our ill friend." He stood upright quickly, seeming to know the humble display shouldn't be too obvious.

Ayame looked to Kakashi. Her big eyes wide. Akira nodded to her, hand on his chest. "No worries, Aya-chan. Your secret is safe with just me. Your husband has done a kind thing. Know Konoha always has a friend in me and my family." As if in afterthought, Akira provided, "Ishimaru and Ryoka-chan will be staying in Nami no Kuni. It is best. Tazuna-san said as soon as Ishimaru is able, there will be a job ready for him. And Ryoka-chan, if she wishes it. Good man, Tazuna-san is."

"He is," Kakashi nodded, storing the information. "I hope you will visit Konoha soon."

"Let us perform for the great village after our tour in Amegakure in early August."

"Ame?"

"Tough crowd, I'll admit," Akira said, "but all the more reason to bring the joy of music."

"I think that's lovely," Yugao chimed in, gaze drifted off but hearing pervasive. Her elbow rested on the table, palm holding cheek up. Fuko sat next her. His eyes softened in sympathy. And then Yugao smiled gently. "I think that's really lovely."

* * *

Kakashi and Ayame walked hand and hand down a path lit up with lights zigzagging from high palm trees. The ocean breeze filled the air with scents of the sea and bonfires. The night radiated stars and the atmosphere from sunrise to now had been their greatest as man and wife.

"Some old friends from Kuni invited us to breakfast tomorrow."

"Old friends?"

Kakashi told her the story of the team seven from back then. She listened, enraptured and pleased with the ending. She asked if the Tazuna in the story was the man Akira had spoken about earlier that night.

"It changed everything," she said.

"Yes."

She stopped their strolling and faced him. "You changed everything for them. And team seven." She was beautiful, eyes reflecting the lights above them, making them lighter. She stepped closer. "You changed everything for me."

Kakashi leaned down to kiss her and she closed her eyes. He stopped an inch away, watching her. Ayame's eyes fluttered open. He made sure she was meeting his gaze. "I love you," he said seriously.

Her mouth was on his in a second and Kakashi felt surprised as her arms wrapped around his neck. Quickly he held her so she wouldn't lose balance. She parted from him and laughed at his expression.

He touched his mouth. Ayame grinned. Kakashi said nothing and grabbed her hand, restarting the walk. He could feel her stare but he kept his silence as he veered them off the main path.

"Kakashi-san?"

This time he turned to her and enveloped her into his arms, kissing her intensely. He angled his mouth to deepen the kiss, tipping her backwards. His tongue stroked hers and she made sounds. His hands traveled to her waist and his pelvis pressed into hers as he backed her against a palm tree. Ayame recalled the night long ago but unlike then she felt completely unashamed—this was her _husband_. She moaned.

"Ayame," he said between kisses, " _shh_."

"Oh!" she kissed him more, thoroughly enjoying herself. "This feels so good," she breathed. She experimented, behind a palm tree, passing couples none the wiser. Kakashi kept his hands in safe areas but she touched his arms and chest and shoulders, seemingly subconscious while kissing.

Ayame then hugged him and dug her nose into his chest, feeling light and incredibly happy. They loved one another!

No one would believe that initially she had been loved and he the one to love. She was still amazed by the development. Her family had teased her so much about Kakashi when she first started crushing on him. She had been open about her feelings and he so quiet of his that no one would have thought _he had pined first_. As intuitive as otousan was, he had not known. And then Kakashi had gone and casually announced it to the entire wedding audience.

It still did not make sense that he had offered her things the night of the Shinobi-Civilian festivities but now it was dawning on her that he had probably been offering a commitment to her and not materialism. She wished he would have been clearer. Even the night he had shown up at her door full of lust—perhaps if he would have simply told her his feelings—

She had been so quick to doubt him after the Shinobi-Civilian night and tent incident. She wouldn't do that anymore—not to Kakashi. She would have faith in him and hope. Now that they were being honest with one another, she mustered up the courage.

In each other's embrace, she asked, "Kakashi-san, remember the night of the festival? When you came to speak with me…" Her face was already red.

"You misunderstood."

She looked up at him, chin resting on his chest. "You knew?"

"Not immediately but later. At the time, believing you wanted nothing to do with me was easy to accept."

"You were asking to marry me back then."

He held his breath. "Yes."

"You're really sorry about our…our one night together?"

He nodded and she could see the shame in his eyes, clearly for the first time. It grieved him. It grieved him to know he had deliberately ignored both their sentiments and favored a night of emotionless sex with a young woman whose only crime was to love a man who was perceivably unreachable to her. When he showed up at her door, suddenly reachable, he disrobed her and made her as much his as one intimate night allowed. As she'd never known before. He had taken advantage. He had.

"I forgive you."

Kakashi leaned down and caught her lips with his. They molded together as they had before. Her softness and acceptance nearly made him groan. He ran his hands down her arms, wanting to feel her—to hold her. He wrapped his forearms around her back and pulled on her bottom lip before he fully kissed her again.

He pulled back. Her pink lips were swollen and her wide eyes shined in anticipation.

"Ka-Kakashi-san, that week was hard. It was _awful_." And then she opened up. "I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted that with only my husband. I wasn't raised—but in _one moment_ of weakness, I completely gave in. I didn't care if you lo-loved me—I didn't care if you were using me— _I was so lonely_."

"Ayame—" She grabbed his face dramatically and he stopped talking, surprised. She stared very seriously at him. It was absurdly adorable and he had to hold his breath at the proximity she offered him.

"Kakashi-san, if I would have clearly said no that night, would you have stopped?"

"Of course," he said. He dreaded that she had felt forced every time he thought of that night.

She smiled pitifully. "I knew that too. Do you understand? I'm not a child. _I'm not Haruhi_. I knew what I was doing. I was taught a man only goes as far as a woman lets him. And I _let_ you. I felt so lonely that night. You have no idea how lonely—"

"I know," he stopped her. "I knew that. I was too."

And then she chuckled in a little exhale and he smiled. That was quite the admission. It was not a secret anymore.

"Can you imagine if we had only kissed?" she said very shyly. He wasn't sure if she was aware that she was doing it, but one of her thumbs caressed his bottom lip. He'd done it to her multiple times. Warmth filled his belly.

She leaned closer. "We would have just shared an awkward laugh...and maybe decided to go on a date. A few months later, maybe we could have been engaged, for different reasons." Her hands went from his face to her belly, his arms still around her. "And one day, sure, after a couple years of marriage we would have a baby or two."

He marveled. He was not sure if they had stopped at kissing that he would have courted her, but he knew what was in front of him now. "The man you're talking about sounds like a good man," he admitted, "and very romantic."

"Oh Kakashi-san," she said. "You are a good man." And then she began to blink rapidly with a very red face, suddenly set on looking at everything but him. "And... very romantic."

His face warmed. "Thank you." Parting a bit from her and looking down at her belly, he asked, "May I?"

Still blushing, she noticed his gaze and nodded. She leaned back on the palm tree and took her hands out of the way. One of his hands reached and hovered above her sad little bump. When he slowly made contact, resting on her shirt, she wondered how long he'd wanted to that. She'd caught him staring countless times.

There was only breathing between them for a long while. She wanted to touch his hand but she decided against it.

"I can feel the heartbeat," he said. "Wow."

Ayame gasped as he slid his hand higher, feeling. "You can? How?" she asked, suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that there was an entire human being inside of her.

Kakashi shrugged. "Ninja."

She laughed at his nonchalance. "If you say so." She leaned her head back and studied the way Kakashi indulged himself in fatherly muses. She wondered how it'd feel to sense the baby's heartbeat. Of course, it was impossible but a mother could dream.

* * *

"I don't think we should."

Her gaze quickly moved from one part of his face to the other, searching, searching. "We'll never?"

They both sat at the foot of the honeymoon bed, showered, in sleepwear and a heavy hue of red on their cheeks. Between them, their hands lay flat on the mattress, fingers nearly touching.

Kakashi's formulated all the responses she could have said but did not hypothesize this one. His brows nearly touched his hairline. A single, fat tear spilled from one of her eyes and slid with heaviness until it disappeared somewhere under her jaw.

She worried her lip and then managed to speak again, his prolonged silence only disconcerting her further. "Kakashi-san, I...you are the only man I'll ever...we are married...I've always wanted a lot of kids—"

Kakashi quickly grabbed her hand, interrupting her. "Hey, _hey_ —what are you saying?"

He leaned in and chastely kissed her mouth. He tasted her soft gasp, pecking her again.

She sniffled, searching his gaze. "Sensei?"

"Ayame, I'll give you as many kids as you want."

"Then why can't we..." she subconsciously glanced back towards the pillows and Kakashi nearly gulped.

"I want to—my God, I want to." She was already blushing madly at his eagerness and he was not even being specific. All the delicious and ferocious things he wanted to do to this woman—"but you're not ready." She wasn't ready all those months ago, she certainly hadn't been in the tent and she wasn't now. Though he had an inkling she would certainly be willing tonight if only to please him.

She scooted closer, lashes fluttering, completely enraptured with every word that came out of his mouth. "But you want to. I'm your wife now..."

He nodded and rested his forehead on hers. "No doubt. Putting aside our marriage and that night, if we started a normal relationship instead of our rendezvous, where would we be?"

"...Only three months of dating." She knew where he was getting at. Good.

"At three months, in a new relationship, where are a man and a woman?"

"Still getting to know each other."

"Ayame," he said, kissing her again, longer this time. If this was how love felt from a woman, Sasuke was mad to be away from it for so long. "Ayame," he said once more against her lips, "let's continue to befriend one another. When the time comes, we'll take the steps that need to be taken."

She was already nodding in agreement before he finished the statement, blindly searching for his lips. Because her eyes were closed, she kissed his nose, nostrils, the side of his mouth—he smiled, gently holding her jaw in place, mouth an inch from his. He needed her full attention for this.

"Ayame, let's wait." It was not what his body wanted, and not even his heart, but his mind knew what was right and it knew what would ultimately please both of them. What would please her.

"How long are you willing to do this for me?" She whispered and managed to graze her mouth against his before he slowly pulled away to answer her.

"You tell me," he offered.

She blushed, focusing on her speech. "Well...let's say we would have dated for...a year. Maybe engaged for another?"

The idea of waiting two years made them both frown. "We should take into consideration our long acquaintance," he suggested.

She nodded, quickly agreeing. "And our mutual friendships."

"Of course. And there is Naruto."

"I was just about to say that! Family friends wouldn't wait as long...right?"

He nodded again. "Those facts would have theoretically cut down our courtship to five months and our engagement to..."

"Two months!" She nearly shouted, not trusting his accumulating mathematics. Apparently.

He smirked. "Impatient?"

She turned the color of Sakura's hair. "Well, if we had dated I would have probably wanted a quick engagement."

He smiled and he noticed the way her brows furrowed. "We'll wait however long we need to. How about that?"

"Okay. If that's okay with you."

"It's more than okay, Ayame."

She smiled prettily and then glanced down at their intertwined fingers.

She met his gaze, tucked her legs under her and faced him there on the edge of the bed. "Can we...kiss more?"

Kakashi considered her expression.

"I don't see why not," he said (they'd been at it all evening) and she barely let him finish as she attached herself to his mouth. Her arms slid around his shoulders and held him close, her chest pressed against him. Her mouth opened for him. His hands landed on her shoulders, surprised at the eagerness.

His heart beat faster. She was still new at it but the way she leaned into him—the way she mewled and breathed and smelled—she hooked a leg around him and was suddenly sitting on his—

"Ayahmm," he tried to say her name but could not. Her fingers traveled into his hair and pulled at it, reminiscent of that night—Kakashi yanked his mouth to the right, freeing their lips, still tightly embraced by her.

"Kakashi-san!" she whined and because she did not have his lips available, she began to press light kisses on his jaw and neck, breasts pressed between them. "You said we could kiss."

Had they switched roles? Kakashi did not think he should explain why he wasn't letting their kiss continue and so only held her silently as her kisses stopped. She rested her forehead on the crook of his neck.

"Too much?" she whispered.

He did not answer right away. His eyes looked pass the glass at the night, observing how fizzled clouds moved across a monochrome sky.

"Ayame, if you kiss me like this…" Seven months would be unbearable.

She hugged him tighter. "Okay."

"Hmm."

"I don't know what came over me. Kissing is so nice." Nice, indeed. Pregnancy hormones.

He caressed the small of her back, leaning his chin on her shoulder, the night sky still holding his interest. "I know," he simply answered and held her on his lap for what must have been an hour.

They exchanged words here and there, but she did not dare kiss him again.

* * *

Breakfast had gone well. Inari and his family loved Ayami. Especially Tazuna. Kakashi recalled Homura and how easily he'd been taken by his wife. Kakashi melancholily grouped himself with the geezers who fancied Ayame.

Ayame and Tsunami washed dishes afterwards and the occasion had made Kakashi slightly uncomfortable, especially when he walked in for a moment and they'd both stared at him silently. He'd walked away feeling like he'd interrupted something but decidedly did not question it. When they'd return to the inn, Ayame has not commented on the peculiar moment either.

The rest of the week also went well. Kakashi was pleasantly surprised by Ayame's character around him. She was herself but more loving and honest with him. It was not long before he realized if she was next to him, she liked to touch him. Her thigh or foot always had to touch his if they were sitting together—if they were standing, she would automatically hold his hand. He didn't mind. He certainly wasn't used to public intimacy, but he enjoyed Ayame and he supposed it was fine. Although he didn't start the amicable touches, he never pulled away. Her physical touches replaced his absent ones. He could initiate conversations and sensuality from her, but the sort of touch she provided was innocent and tender and at times he would feel at a loss. She was showing her love for him and it was new.

It was like she'd been waiting to hear the words 'I love you' so she could finally express everything she'd ever felt for him.

And now the honeymoon was over.

"Kakashi-sama." It was Fuko knocking at the door their last morning on the island.

"Open," Kakashi said, tone serious, matching the ANBU's. He was sitting on the bed waiting for Ayame. She was finishing up getting ready to depart.

Ayame peeked around the bathroom threshold and saw Fuko fall to a kneeling position. Kakashi was already on his feet. Ayame finished sliding a pin in her carefully contrived up-due and walked into the bedroom.

"What's going on, Fuko?"

"A messenger hawk, milord."

Fuko held out a small, rolled up note and Kakashi fetched it quickly.

Ayame watched her husband scan the contents of the note. His brows furrowed and he cursed. And there was pain. Ayame's heart squeezed within her chest. Kakashi had been completely living in the moment with her for the last week, but she knew his heart would wonder away, thinking of the village he was guardian of. But he'd put it all aside to give her attention and make her happy. She wondered why the Godaime couldn't wait until they arrived home tomorrow to talk business but then felt guilty about it.

Honeymoon or not, Kakashi was the active Hokage.

As he read the note, Fuko glanced at Ayame and she smiled. Her smile wavered when his eyes dropped to the floor. It was not good.

There was a sigh from Kakashi that gripped Ayame and Fuko's attention. She pressed her palms to her sides. He was holding out the note to her. She stared at it.

"Take it, Ayame."

"Wha-what is it?"

Kakashi gently grabbed one of her hands and placed the paper into her fingers. "Don't be afraid. We'll be making a stop as soon as we get into Konoha."

"A stop?"

He nodded. "As Hokage and Daishukujo."

* * *

 _We're both looking for something_  
 _We've been afraid to find_  
 _It's easier to be broken_  
 _It's easier to hide_

 _Looking at you, holding my breath_  
 _For once in my life, I'm scared to death_  
 _I'm taking a chance, letting you inside_

 _-Lifehouse, First Time_


End file.
